My(29F) husband(30M) doesn’t want me to take a certain medication.

A Reddit user shared their struggle with diabetes and an unhealthy relationship with food, which led to their doctor prescribing semaglutide to manage both weight and blood sugar levels.

However, their husband strongly opposes medications for lifestyle-related issues and was upset to discover they had started it without his knowledge. Now, the user feels torn between their health and their husband’s trust. Read the full story below for insight into their dilemma.

‘ My(29F) husband(30M) doesn’t want me to take a certain medication. ‘

I am diabetic. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I don’t eat large amounts of my main meals but I love to snack. I also stress eat. Given my genetics and family history, that is enough to make me diabetic at just 27 years. For the last 2 years, I tried a lot to quit the bad habit, be physically active etc.

But it is an addiction, has been hard for me to quit unless probably I am physically restrained from eating. I went to therapy last year, tried two different therapists but did not help. I will continue to look for a suitable therapist.

The habit of overeating and not being able to lose wait bothers me a lot, makes me so sad and irritable, but weirdly enough, i cannot still quit. I feel like a failure all the time. Seeing me struggling, my doctor asked me I wanted to try semaglutide (like ozempic) which will stop me from overeating/snacking as well as excellent for blood sugar control.

She warned me that I need to develop good habits while on it, otherwise I will start eating again once I am off the medication. I agreed and tried it for a month, I felt extremely good mentally. Not having snacks at home wasn’t an emergency anymore. I did not think about food constantly and started feeling confident again…

…except I didn’t mention it to my husband. He doesn’t like medications in general unless there’s no other way. He is super against taking medication to aid weight loss or diabetes, instead prefers lifestyle changes. He himself has made several such changes for the benefit of his health, which of course yielded great results for him.

Unfortunately for me, due to my addiction to food, it’s not so easy. Anyway, I wanted to try the semaglutide for a month or so, then discuss it with him and take it for longer term. As fate would have it, he found the package! Yep he did and he was livid.

He felt deceived and (kinda) cheated that I did not discuss such an important decision with him. If you look at the dynamics of my marriage, it is true that we usually would have discussed this beforehand.

But i didn’t because a) I wanted to give it a try before discussing b) in general I don’t like to discuss my diabetes with anyone in detail as I am extremely ashamed and conscious about it. Anyway, he was extremely upset for 2-3 days, he told me that he has trust issues now (again, given the dynamics of my marriage, it is expected for him to feel so).

But after that he was ok as long as I never took it again and always discuss such things with him. I told ok. Its been 2 months since this happened and I have been eating like before since last 1 month, back to my previous weight, feeling like s**t again. What should I do?

Should l secretly start taking the medication again? I really want to but I don’t want to hurt him again. If I am honest with him, he will never agree to me taking it. The other day I asked him “would you rather have me suffer the complications of diabetes than taking this medication?” .

He told me that I won’t have complications if I were to exercise and eat right. Right, why did I not think of that before? I am really really frustrated and I think have started to resent him a little. What should I do?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

saradanger −  Ozempic is a diabetes medication first and foremost and you have diabetes. So he’s mad at you for taking medicine for your disease. Do you hear how crazy that sounds? Why exactly does he have a say in your medical treatment?

The d**g is not going in his body. You have not been able to make “his way” work so you are trying something that your DOCTOR recommended. This is…terrifying to me. This is not how adults interact in a healthy relationship. He’s being controlling to a medically a**sive extent…How much do you let him tell you how to live your life?

Elfich47 −  Your husband is not a medical professional and should not be attempting to control your health.

Smart_Negotiation_31 −  1. It isn’t his choice. 2. He’s not qualified to even offer an opinion. Why are you not standing up for yourself, and why does he get the final say? Is this “relationship dynamic” you keep mentioning just him being a controlling i**ot? Because that what it sounds like.

You need to put yourself first here and continue taking the medication anyway because it was working for you. If he can’t eventually accept it and let it go, you have way bigger problems.

BrokenPaw −  Your healthcare is between you and your doctor. Anyone who tries to get between you and the medicine that your doctor has prescribed for you to treat a medical condition is being a**sive, controlling, and toxic.

Anyone who has the sheer brass clankers to turn “you taking meds that your doc prescribed you” into (somehow) you betraying his *trust*, is completely out of his mind. You are in an a**sive relationship. You are being abused. Your husband is an abuser.. (“No, he’s not, he just—“). Yes. He *is*.

He is trying to take your right to self-determination about your own health and medical care out of your hands.. So what you *should* do is: 1. Walk away and never look back, and then. 2. Follow whatever healthcare program you and your doc agree is right for you.

ErnestBatchelder −   But after that he was ok as long as I never took it again and always discuss such things with him.  He’s not your doctor. You hid it because you knew he’d say “no” and you’d follow his wishes.

You are making yourself out to be the bad person in this situation because that’s the narrative he’s set: medication bad, having better genetics and relationship to food (aka willpower) morally good. Again, he is not a doctor. He does not control your body.

Dude either wants you to live a long time, be healthy in whatever manner you can, and feel good, or he prefers “he’s right” and you are fat and self-loathing. See this for what it is & decide accordingly.

Sneakys2 −  He is super against taking medication to aid weight loss or diabetes, instead prefers lifestyle changes. How nice for him. However, medication is how diabetes is safely controlled. Does he think you shouldn’t take insulin? Ozempic was developed and is intended for people with type 2 diabetes.

People exactly like you. It’s an effective blood sugar control mechanism that yes does result in incidental weight loss. For you, that you had improved mental health around food and were able to start to address your food issues makes it even better for you.

The only people who should have final say in this discussion are you and your doctor. Your husband is welcome to do what works for him. You need to be given space to do what works for you. 

Raibean −  Hi. I am a recently diagnosed diabetic woman in my early 30s. I’m on metFormin and likely going to get an Ozempic prescription tomorrow at my endo appointment.

I think if my fiancé (also 30M) found out I had started a new medication without telling him, he would be confused and worried – as my partner, he should be in the know about my health and how I maintain that, especially as my emergency contact and the person I want making decisions for me if I am incapacitated.

Hiding your medication is a sign that something is wrong in the relationship – and you have a good reason to hide it! Things have gone wrong on your husband’s end. He does not get veto power on your medical decisions while you are able to make those decisions for yourself. Your health is **not** a joint decision.

I’ve experienced the embarrassment and self-consciousness around my diabetes diagnosis that you describe here. The reason we feel this way is the same reason why your your husband doesn’t want you to treat your diabetes with medication: Deep down we are looking at diabetes as a moral failing.

Your husband thinks taking medicine is the easy way out and that having to do things without medicine is your punishment. Nothing makes it easy. I have spent the last 3 months getting my A1c down .3 points and losing 5 pounds by making small but sustainable changes. It’s not easy.

By deciding that medication isn’t acceptable for you, he is deciding that organ, nerve, and brain damage *are* acceptable for you. To him, making sure you get better the “right” way is more important than making sure you get better.

(And even if you aren’t experiencing symptoms of that damage doesn’t mean it isn’t happening – trust me, I know from personal experience.) Here is my advice on what needs to happen: 1. Stand up to your husband. Go back on medication and be upfront about it.

2. Wear a medical alert bracelet if you don’t already. Either write up an advanced medical directive stating that your diabetes treatment is to be continued against the wishes of your husband if you are medically incapacitated OR appoint someone else entirely as your medical decision maker.

At this point you cannot trust him to make medical decisions for you, and you need to establish continuity of care that he can’t disrupt. 3. You need to talk to him. I recommend couples’ counseling. He needs to understand that your food addiction is an addiction, a mental illness, and not a moral failing.

That medication is common to treat addiction, and Ozempic is a great option for that! (It interacts with the reward system of the brain by reversing some Long Term Potentiation (established neuron connections) to allow you to build new connections and new behaviors.)

It can be so scary to stand up to someone you love. But you need to demand respect and autonomy so you can be an equal partner in this relationship. If you guys can work it out, your relationship will be stronger and better.

Our role as partners is to support the other person on their journey even if it’s not a journey we ourselves would take. I’m sure you have an example of when you have supported him, and now it is his turn to support you. Good luck.

emr830 −  He’s against taking meds for diabetes??? 😳😬dude. Not acceptable. You don’t need to discuss your medications with him. Even if he is a doctor (which…doubt it), he shouldn’t be the one giving you medical advice.

You didn’t tell him because you knew this is how he would react. I’m seriously concerned for your well being if you stay with him and he doesn’t stop his controlling behavior immediately.

PeggyBurnsGhost −  What would happen if you just told him “I’m taking this medication. I’ve weighed the pros and cons with my doctor and given your attitude towards medication, I wasn’t comfortable discussing it with you.

Consider yourself informed. “ All medications have risks. But his preference doesn’t override your autonomy. Is he not going to allow you to take chemotherapy should you need *that*?

CafeteriaMonitor −  Your husband backs you into a corner where the only option for you to get the healthcare you need is to lie to him, and then he lashes out to you about lying and makes it a multi-day fight and says he will only forgive you if you promise to stop getting the healthcare that was making you feel good.

Take a step back and think long and hard about whether this is the person you want to spend your life with, because I would not.

Should the user prioritize their health needs despite their husband’s disapproval, or should they seek a compromise to maintain trust in their marriage? How would you handle balancing personal well-being with a partner’s differing values? Share your opinions and experiences in the comments below!