My(25M) Girlfriend(22F) wants to share our incomes, thing is, I make roughly 7 times as much, advice please

A Redditor (25M) shares his dilemma: his girlfriend (22F) wants to combine their finances despite a significant income gap—he earns $150K a year while she earns $20K. Their differing financial habits and his concerns about fairness have led to tension, making him question the future of their relationship.

‘ My(25M) Girlfriend(22F) wants to share our incomes, thing is, I make roughly 7 times as much, advice please’

So here is the deal, me and my girlfriend have been together for a little under 3 years and have been living together for a few months. My girlfriend takes college classes and works part time, I finished college 2 years ago, quickly got hired by the company I did my internship at and within a year I got a promotion and a large payraise and I am now making roughly 150K a year, while she makes 20K a year.

Now she moved in with me a few months ago in to the place I bought so I pay nearly all costs, mortgage, electricity, water etc, the only things she pays herself are non essentials like spotify, Phone bill, netflix and so forth.

Now recently we got in to a huge fight where she demanded we pool our money together and spend what is left after essential costs together, where as currently I pay basically every essential and my own s**t, use a bit to enjoy myself and put the rest in to my savings.
Now she seems to be jealous I got a lot more to spend, which is not really true since after monthly costs I put the majority in my savings account.

In my eyes she already gets an easy ride and honestly she is just s**t with the money she does have, she spends it on crap like stupidly expensive clothes and then complains she is broke at the end of the month. So what do I do, I hate to put money in the way of our relationship but if I am honest I am questioning my relationship as there is no way I am going to let her essentially spend my salary on stupid s**t.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Zykium −  I too would like a free 65k+ a year.

SmallSacrifice −  She wants to SPEND the rest?? 60k? Dude… “GF, there is no way I am going to pool money with you because you are not responsible with your own money, let alone with mine. I already pay your expenses and am not going to sacrifice more money so you can spend more. Financial responsibility is important to me and I hope you start making it important to you as well.”

brando993 −  I say you propose a counter offer. Both of you keep your accounts separate and she pays for half of the monthly living expenses.

AlferSilas −  “No”. And for heavens sake, make her sign a prenup. It’s for your protection, and for hers.

NarcPTSD −  One thing you could try is income splitting. Both add your combined income together, and then see what percentage of her income is in comparison to the total household income. So for example, if you made 140k and she made 20k, your household income would be 160k. To which her income would be 12.5%. Now, this way would mean she has to pay 12.5% of all household expenses. Which in my eyes, would be fair **and** actually make her pay something instead of depending on you.. Edit: I’m an i**ot and cant math.

SalsaRice −  If you were married, you could have a discussion about doing joint vs separate finances. Dating? Lol she can f**k right off. Do not combine finances, at all, at this point.

Tttapir −  Do not pool your money. There would be nothing more foolish than that. She is already getting a free ride.

autumn489489 −  She sounds like the type to poke holes in condoms — not remotely kidding. Be careful, OP.

[Reddit User] −  This is what it was like for my parents, but instead it was my dad (still made more than my mom.) this completely ruined their relationship. I’d recommend not pooling money unless you are 100% sure you’re staying with her and having a family. If so, that’s when you should pool money under the reasoning that it’s more for the rest of your family than just her.

exoclipse −  I’m late to the party, but I’ll share my experience: My wife and I both got “not-retail” jobs at the same time, right when her first pregnancy began. We were still living at home. We had been dating for four years, and we both knew then (as we do now) that we would be partners for life, regardless of whether marriage happened or not.

We didn’t even have to discuss it. We just got a joint account and closed our personal accounts. We did that because we had a lot of trust, we see each others as equal, and in real financial terms, we were approximately equal at the time. Your situation is not that thing. You have your girlfriend unilaterally demanding that you pool your money with her, even though you already pay nearly all the bills. You are *not* financially equal, and you have wildly different financial priorities. To me, this looks like she’s looking for a way to spend a lot of your money on material goods. Don’t do it.