My(25f) mom(72f) and sister(32f) are mad because I wont help them commit fraud.

A Reddit user is facing immense pressure from her mother and sister, who want her to commit fraud by pretending she lives with them and paying rent to help her sister refinance her mortgage. Despite her refusal, she is being berated and manipulated, with her family even using threats of homelessness and guilt-tripping her about the potential consequences.

The user is torn between her morals, the desire to protect herself and her family, and her relationship with her mother and sister. Read the full story below for a deeper look at this complex family situation.

‘ My(25f) mom(72f) and sister(32f) are mad because I wont help them commit fraud.’

My sister owns a house and is currently in the process of losing it. She wants me to help her out by saying I live there and pay rent to help her refinance her mortgage. I however do not live there. I moved out a year or so ago and had a baby. I am currently living with my boyfriend in a different city.

My mom is really mad at me shes saying that she doesnt understand why I dont just do it and that they could lose the house if I dont do it. She told a close relative that I have until Monday in a threatening way.My sister told me it’ll be my fault if they end up homeless and she tried to throw in my nieces being homeless as well.

The thing is they use to do fraud all the time like it was no big deal and they want me to i guess follow blindly. They never learned their lesson from committing fraud because they havent been caught.

They would take money out of my dad’s account(somewhere around 15 thousand in total) and open credit card and phones under his name. My dad was from another country and sadly didnt know how any of those things worked or how to check on them. My mother is evil.

I wont go into the things that she did to him or I or the rest of her children but shes bad enough to the point where I wont trust her alone with my daughter. my father passed away last year.

I knew what they were doing was wrong and begged them not to do it and even got yelled at and scolded for trying to make them stop on several occasions. I never went to my dad though to let him know what was going on. I was scared he would leave us and now I know that was selfish and I should have just told him.

Although I wasnt the one to take his money I have a lot of guilt for not speaking up I was around 17 at the time. I regret my silence to the fullest. Anyways here we are in the present and I’m made out to be the bad guy because I wont cooperate.

For some reason they cant get it through their head that I dont want to chance getting fraud on my record. I can’t do that to my daughter. I cant do that to my boyfriend. I cant do that that to myself. I feel like this is it. This is what’s going to end our (mom and sister)relationship. I should also throw in that they both are pill poppers.

It’s a touchy subject with them. I get yelled at anytime I mention them and pills In the same sentence even when it’s in a concerning heartfelt way. I’m hoping they dont try to forge the paper work or my signature. Part of me thinks they will if they somehow convince themselves that they can get away with it.

I love my family I do…but I’ve realized they dont love me or at least not in a sincere way. Not if they treat me like s**t for not wanting to commit fraud. They cant even try to look at it from my perspective.

I tried to decline doing the refinance for the mortgage thing in a nice proper way but that didnt go over too well… Anyone have any suggestions on maybe how to end this on proper terms? Or is this good enough reason to go no contact with family?

Update: I just found out my work didnt update my change my address when I put the forms in and now my w2’s were sent to my old address (there’s) I’m scared they can use these instead of my pay stubs and come my signature. Everyone at work says they recieved theirs. My mom said mine arent there yet idk if I believe her

Tl;dr sister and mom want me to say that I’m living with them and contributing to the household so she can refinance her mortgage. I’m not doing either of those things and dont feel comfortable with the idea of committing fraud. Mom keeps persisting and wont take no as an answer. Shes trying everything in her power to get me to go along with it. How do I make it clear that the answer is no???

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

teresajs −  If you haven’t, already, you need to check your credit report to make sure they haven’t used your information for identity theft. And then put a freeze on your credit so they can’t fraudulently use your credit.

dreamerxyz −  You are like 2 inches away from disaster. Stop talking to them.

WafflingToast −  Put a freeze on your credit. They probably know your social security number and this will limit the damage they can do to you. Stay firm. You’re in a horrible spot,

but just realize that they needed to learn how to manage finances properly and that this house of cards will all eventually come crashing down around them. And that you are not responsible for any of it. And give yourself a break for when you were 17, you were a minor and didn’t know what to do in a complex situation.

MikeyBugs −  u/PixelCurls about your W-2, you said that every other employee you asked had received your W-2? But you said that you Mom told you they didn’t get it yet? That is very important… They probably DID receive your W-2 but, with their penchant for fraud, are probably going to use it to fraudulently receive your tax returns.

First thing I would do is IMMEDIATELY call your employer and have them update your mailing address. Then go to your mother’s house unannounced to get your W-2. Also, call the police. Or at least their lender. What they’re trying to do is illegal.

travelbug898 −  Stop talking to your mom and sister about this if they can’t respect your “no”. Walk away/hang up from any conversation where they mention this. They clearly don’t respect you and your boundaries, so make your boundaries even more clear by getting some distance.

Btw, I would highly recommend getting therapy to learn to set better boundaries with these people or even get the strength to go low or no contact with them. They sound like horrible people and just because you share DNA with them doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to keep a relationship with them.

[Reddit User] −  I would call your bank and freeze your credit first, then call the IRS (Taxpayer Assistance Center) for potential fraud on your W-2 as it was sent to the wrong address and you are not able to get it back. You learned your co-workers all received yours but when you called your mother said it wasn’t there but you do not believe her.

I would call her and tell her that if you don’t get your W-2 by Monday that you will report her plan to use you in fraudulent behavior and it will win her a one way to ticket to a jail cell, because if there is anything the IRS hates is being tricked out of money. Treat her like the criminal she is and take her threats seriously.

If she goes through with taking your tax refund, report her ass and have her sent to jail, along with your sister. Sorry, but they are taking advantage of a system and are being financially irresponsible and taking other peoples money, not just your own.

If you receive the W-2 and she still tries and threatens you, make it clear you have no qualms with going to the IRS for fraudulent claims. Then after that, go no contact and make sure to check your credit constantly.

itslisss −  I am a lender at a mortgage company and I can tell you right now the chances of any underwriter using “boarder income” are very slim. Very very few lending programs allow this and as far as I have ever seen it’s only allowable when the mortgage holder is disabled.

Further, if she claims you are contributing to the cost of the mortgage, they are going to ask for 12 month payment history to prove such. And it would have to be paid directly to your sisters lender, not to her.

AND it would be a huge red flag that she has no history of claiming rental income on her tax returns and again most lenders don’t allow rental income if there’s no history of such.

In conclusion, from a mortgage professional, please let your sister and mother know this is a moot argument because the “rental income” she would be claiming to receive from you would never be considered a qualified source of income.

Grinchtastic10 −  I know you may not want to hear this…but you should report them to the police. It will stop any form of them forging your signature or destroying your life, your nieces will be put into child services instead of on the streets, and they MAY learn their lesson.

Edit: i see alot of people saying put a hold on your credit and they may know your social. I’m not sure what a hold/freeze on your credit does but you can get a new social security number at certain government offices if it has been or could be easily compromised. Two of my friends have had theirs compromised in the past year

homeoplasmine −  I think you know the answer to this one – yes, this is a completely fair reason to go no-contact. Do you feel like your mother and sister respect you, or think affectionately of you? Does your relationship with them bring you moments of joy, or just worry? Only you know the answer, but your post definitely sounds like it would be a no.

Force and threats are pretty much the opposite of love and respect. It sounds like you have very good reason to be worried that they might try to forge your signature, so get legal advice on that (a free legal clinic near you, or a cheap short consult with a lawyer). Good for you for protecting yourself and your family and saying no to their plan.

jjkbill −  Are you serious about protecting yourself, your boyfriend and your daughter? If so, you will go to the police TODAY. They are going to put your name on this whether you agree or not. It’s also very likely that this is not the first time they’ve used your name illegally.

This situation raises important questions about family loyalty, personal boundaries, and the consequences of refusing to engage in illegal activities. What would you do if you were in this user’s shoes? How can she protect herself, her reputation, and her child while managing the emotional fallout from her family? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.