My wife had a mental breakdown when I left her alone with the kids?

A Reddit user faced a challenging moment when his wife had a breakdown after he briefly left her with their two young children. Despite his efforts to support her recovery after childbirth by managing night shifts and giving her time to rest, he wonders if he’s unintentionally added to her stress. Read the full story below to see if his actions made him an AH or a supportive partner.

‘ My wife had a mental breakdown when I left her alone with the kids?’

5 days ago, my wife (25F) gave birth to our second child, our daughter, and then our son (3M) came home 2 days later. For the past 5 days, I (25M) have put myself on baby duty every night and giving my wife a full-night’s sleep as well as getting the kids up and ready for the day.

Yesterday morning, I had gotten the kids ready to go out after pulling another all-nighter (I don’t mind it as it gives me some one on one time with baby girl and gives me a chance to get my run back with Radahn) as well as gave my wife the chance to get herself ready at her own pace as she’s still recovering.

She’s doing amazing but started to feel bad about me not getting any sleep. I told her it’s okay and I’m fine with it, but last night, before I put our son to bed, I asked my wife if she could watch the kids for a moment while I went to the bathroom.

When I came back, she had obviously been crying. I immediately went into panic mode but she calmed me down explaining that her “menty-b moment” was caused by her feeling like she wasn’t doing enough and that she felt horrible that I was choosing to stay with our daughter rather than getting any sleep. I understood her and she sent me to bed when she woke up this morning after I got a night of intermittent sleep.

I know I shouldn’t feel like an AH, but I always overthink and, as a dad, I never feel like I’m doing enough or what I do compares to what my wife does. She’s amazing and just went through childbirth and I just want to give her the time she needs to recover.. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

bdayqueen −  NAH – It’s only been 5 days. She’s post partum. She’s going to cry randomly. Keep doing what you’re doing. Give her a cuddle.
If she continues to be sad or depressed, she should talk with her doctor about Post Partum Depression.

First-Lengthiness-16 −  Read the title, thought you were going to be a bellend.  I was wrong. You are doing an amazing job, lots of people don’t support their partner the way you are. Keep doing what you are doing, support her as much as you can.  You are awesome.

This may happen again, this is a really difficult time for her.  It’s hard for you, but ten times harder for her.  Support her, let her know you love her and remind her she is a good mum. Don’t doubt yourself champ, you are smashing it.  Is there anyone around who could come help you?

Nsr444 −  The nurse warned me specifically for ‘the fifth day’, apparently, it’s a thing. It’s called something like birthing tears (kraamtranen, anyone got a better translation?) So on day five I cried. There wasn’t even any reason. NAH, but do try to get some rest too

AdAccomplished6870 −  Let me make sure I have this straight, this thread is about both parents feeling like jerks because they feel like they aren’t doing enough to help the other parent rest?. This has to be a humble brag, right?

NAH, and let your wife know not to worry. She did the heavy lifting the last trimester (really the whole pregnancy) and that you are happy to carry the load a bit until you can’t, and by then she should be rested enough that you two can walk forward together.

Cursd818 −  NTA. At six days post partum, I saw my best friend burst into tears because she was reminded that deer exist. The hormones are insane at this time. Don’t take it personally, just keep giving her time to recover. Sleep is what you both need right now.

My friend and her husband instituted a five hour shift sleep cycle. She slept the first 5 hours of the night completely uninterrupted, and then he got the next five hours completely uninterrupted.

They could sleep during each other’s shifts, but they had to get up with the baby. It was a game changer for them to have each had a good stretch of sleep each night. Just a suggestion for you guys, to ensure you both get a good sleep!

RogerPenroseSmiles −  NTA, her body is going through a big ass reset of hormones, neurotransmitters and all kinds of s**t. My wife is the most level headed, logical, reasonable woman I’ve ever known and after our baby was born she had a few mental breakdowns. She’s a doc so warned me this stuff would happen. You just gotta take it in stride as her body reregulates over the next yearish.

Away_Double5599 −  NTA. You guys sound like an amazing couple who really does try and work together. Yall just sound stress and maybe if possible sooner rather than later yall should leave the kids with grandparents or baby sitter for a weekend and take a break together.

CampClear −  I was told by my lactation consultant when I had a meltdown 5 days postpartum that’s when the hormones kick in! It’s normal to feel really o**rwhelmed and scared that you’re completely screwing up. Nah, just keep being as supportive as you can.

Maleficent-Laugh1994 −  ❤️❤️ you guys are both doing great. I know it’s hard to understand or realize it. But you are. But you should check into a family member watching them for a couple hours, so you guys can have a nice nap together and you both get a small break. That quality time even just for a couple hours will help you both a lot.

gin_and_soda −  Oh STFU, this is so fake. Did you get enough “omg, you’re amazing !!!!!!” comments? What day are you prepping your five day old daughter for?