My wife (27/F) didn’t like my (30/M) gifts, but didn’t get me anything.

A 30-year-old man shares the hurtful experience of his wife dismissing the thoughtful gifts he gave her for Christmas while failing to get him anything in return. The incident has caused tension with her family and awkward conversations with his own. He’s now seeking advice on how to address the situation with his wife and manage his family’s concerns. Read his story below.

‘ My wife (27/F) didn’t like my (30/M) gifts, but didn’t get me anything.’

I had an interesting Christmas. First, on my birthday in November, my wife told me my gift was on the way. It never came. She said it kept getting delayed. She ended up buying a Target sugar cookie house decorating kit. Fast forward to a few weeks ago.

She had asked me to help make a book of wedding pictures for her parents for Christmas, which I did. It was ordered for them last week. Last night, the two of us opened presents with her parents.

She discouraged me from bringing any of my presents for her to be opened in front of her family because “your gift isn’t here yet”. I suggested printing a picture of it and putting the picture in a gift card box or something. She said she couldn’t do that.

Tells her parents about the photo book and shows them a picture of it on her phone, then turns to me and says “That’s your gift too”. Then she opens my presents. One was all 3 Taylor Swift covers of Time Magazine. She said “I asked for Eras Tour Tickets.

That’s the only thing I asked for this year.” We had talked about the tickets months ago, seeing the cheapest ones would be $1,500 each and she already said she didn’t want me to go with her but she wanted an extra ticket for her friend.

So she wanted me to spend at least $3,000 on tickets for something she didn’t want me to do with her. Then she opened the next gift, tickets for a day of white water rafting that includes gear and training from an instructor. She said “Ohhh great….”.

She said she didn’t want practical gifts, and this was something we could do together. At this point her family is saying they’re good gifts and they’re thoughtful just trying to make me feel better but it literally made me feel worthless. She hated what I got her and she basically forgot to get me anything.

Her parents called me and reassured me again that they were good gifts and now my mom is calling me asking what I got from my wife for Christmas and it’s becoming a huge thing because she apparently heard what happened. What do I even do at this point? We’ve been married 2 years and she has not been one for buying gifts well, but this is a new low.

I offered to return the tickets and her response was “I’ll do it because you want us to do it.” Any advice on handling this with my wife or discussing this with my mom would be appreciated because so far I’ve dodged going into a lot of detail about it when my mom tries to dig deeper into a conversation about it.

TL;DR: My wife forgot to get me a gift for Christmas, then rejected my gifts to her in front of her family. Now my family is calling me asking about the situation. Any advice on handling this with my wife or discussing this with my mom would be appreciated.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

DarmokTheNinja −  Sorry, but your wife doesn’t seem to like you.

R0l0d3x-Pr0paganda −  Is this an arranged marriage???? Because your wife doesn’t care about you…AT ALL. She’s thoughtless and future fakes…..ALOT. Don’t spend money on Taylor Swift, spend it on a LAWYER.

[Reddit User] −  Use the 3k to speak to a lawyer. She has checked out but is not willing to be the bad guy.

RetroSpaceMonkey −  Yikes, sounds like you need a new wife…

Fragrant_Spray −  It sounds like she checked out. It’s not just a matter of her being bad at gifting. She’s not even trying. She’s avoiding doing the bare minimum. She understands how this works, you can see the thought she put into the gift for her parents before outsourcing all the work to you.

If it were just a matter of her not wanting to do gifts at all, she wouldn’t have given you s**t for the gifts you got her. Her INTENTION was to be difficult. She doesn’t want to outright be the bad guy so her plan is to make the relationship bad enough that you’ll want to end it.

If you’re going to spend 3k, don’t spend it on her tickets. It will make her happy for about a minute and then she’ll move the bar and you’ll be back at step one. Document everything and start working on your exit strategy. The harder you do the pick me dance, the worse she’s going to treat you. She may lose her nerve a little when she starts to think about the reality of a divorce, but any effort she puts in will only be temporary.

If you do want to try to fix this, have an exit plan in place first, and be prepared to walk. Talk with a lawyer, plan how to separate finances, living situation, secure any critical paperwork you need and make a list of all accounts to prepare to change passwords.

If she doesn’t believe you’ll leave, you won’t even have a chance at an honest conversation from her. Also, if she’s already decided she wants out, don’t be surprised if she’s looking for someone else already. Keep an eye on that while you prepare.

Soapytoothbrush −  She wants you to buy her tickets to an event that she doesn’t want to go to with you? Wtf

[Reddit User] −  this marriage is not even on life support it is in the coffin ready to be cremated, use the 3k on a divorce lawyer, I wonder if her and the friend are more than friends if you know what I mean.

[Reddit User] −  Tell your mom the truth. Has your wife always been like this? She seems very selfish. Married only two years and it sounds like it’s already rocky. First your birthday and now Christmas. You need to tell your wife how you feel. How she responds will be very telling. I hate to say divorce but you may want to cut your losses.

fizzbangwhiz −  Okay well first of all quit discussing this with both sides of parents. There’s no reason you need to be talking about your relationship with them. This is a conversation you need to have with your wife first and foremost.

Talk to your wife and let her know how it makes you feel that she hasn’t gotten you any real gifts for either your birthday or Christmas. Then also reflect on your gift too. Does your wife enjoy white water rafting or has she expressed any interest in an activity like that? If you can’t or don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on concert tickets, that’s fine, but why would you get her something she has no interest in instead?

You’re both not on the same page about gifts. Whether this marriage is salvageable or not depends on if you can have an honest conversation with your wife about your feelings, not your mom.

bujama9999 −  Your wife sounds like she is 12. You need a divorce. This is a huge warning sign of your future together. She is extremely immature, extremely ungrateful, and extremely childish.

**Unrelated Side note:** Not even sure why your family on both sides needs to be all up and into what your gifts were for each other and have comments, talks and opinions. So many things wrong with that.

How would you navigate this kind of relationship challenge? What are some ways to communicate effectively and rebuild mutual appreciation? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments.