My therapist sent me [21/f] home in the middle of a session because her next patient came an hour early. I’m hurt and feel like a may need a new therapist

A Redditor shared an emotional experience about being abruptly sent home by their therapist mid-session because another patient arrived early. While in the middle of discussing deeply personal trauma, they were told to wrap up, leaving them feeling hurt, unimportant, and unsure if they should continue with the same therapist. Read the full story below to learn more about their dilemma and search for advice.

‘ My therapist sent me [21/f] home in the middle of a session because her next patient came an hour early. I’m hurt and feel like a may need a new therapist’

I’ve been seeing my therapist for about a year now and she’s been helping a lot. I arrived in her office at our scheduled time and I was talking to her for about 15 minutes when she heard the waiting room door open.

She went outside and saw that the next patient had come an hour earlier and she thought that maybe she got our times mixed up until she checked the schedule andc saw that she placed them an hour after me. She told me that unfortunately I would have five minutes to wrap up because I would have to come back later, although it was my appointment time.

I fought really hard to hold back tears because I was in the middle of really pouring my heart out about how my s****l ab**e. She gave me a rescheduled appointment but I don’t know if I’m going back because it’s a 40 minute walk from my campus. I usually don’t mind but it’s so hot and I don’t want to do that walk twice today. She’s been really great at helping me with my PTSD and overcoming my s****l ab**e, but I feel that this was incredibly unprofessional and it made me feel like what I was saying didn’t matter.

She told me that the patient was an evaluation so this would be her first time seeing them. Can you all give me advice on how to handle this? I’ve been feeling so s**tty and my depression is getting worse and I really needed to talk about it because I feel like I’m close to just ending things. Tl;dr: Therapist sent me home in middle of appointment and I don’t know if I should find a new therapist or if I’m overreacting.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

stumblepretty −  This is very unprofessional behavior on her behalf. If you feel really attached to her as a therapist and feel that she helps you a lot, try talking to her about it first. “(Therapist), I feel that I have benefited from our sessions and would like to continue working with you, but I feel the need to let you know that the way our session ended last week made me very uncomfortable. I did not appreciate my session being ended early to accommodate another patient who showed up early for their appointment. Please don’t let this happen again.”

pienoceros −  You’re not overreacting, what she did is wildly unprofessional and I’ll bet you a doughnut that she charged you the full hour. I would speak with her, outside of your scheduled time, (in other words, don’t pay her to discuss her flawed business practices), and tell her that you are not happy with the way she treated you and that you have informed your insurance company of the canceled session (NOTIFY THEM). Don’t talk about how it made you feel because she has the upper hand there, couch it in professional terms. If she pushes back, is she really the person to help you develop coping skills and to set boundaries?

Maritimerintraining −  Social Worker/Counsellor here. What your therapist did is not only unethical, it goes against every “code” that psychotherapists, counsellors, social workers, etc. adhere to. Your needs are just as important as anyone else that comes through a therapist’s doors. In my job, if I did that, I would be fired or at the very least disciplined. When a client of mine arrives early, they are informed of their time by reception and that they would need to wait.

It’s clear that you have invested a lot in your own recovery and that you trusted this therapist. Let the therapist know that what they did broke your trust and actually fractured the client-worker relationship. Everyone has off-days, but to outright say that another client’s time is more important than the client they are currently seeing is signs of either incompetence, ignorance, or burn-out. Either way, good for you for seeking help. However, if it was me, I would inform them how you felt and seek help elsewhere.

[Reddit User] −  As someone who has had crappy therapists – don’t go back to her.. She treated you poorly. Find another therapist. You deserve someone who makes you a priority during your appointment.

notevenapro −  That was 100% unprofessional and they would never get another ounce of my business.

moussey −  This is so unprofessional and I’m angry on your behalf. If you feel like it please post an update of how it plays out.

[Reddit User] −  This is a moot point but….. refuse to pay her for the abbreviated session.

throwaway234988111 −  You can report the behavior to the State. I forget the name of the agencies that govern this but do it. I had a therapist who, knowing I had a serious issue with abandonment, showed up over 30 mins late to a 50 min appointment with a huge poodle in tow, claiming she was “just down the street stuck on a phone call”. I had tried to call her twice, once at the 15 min point, and once after, with no response. At this point I was in tears and told her I wouldn’t be comfortable doing a session that day.

This incident affected the way I interacted with my friends for weeks and did a lot of damage to the already severely limited amount of trust I put in therapists. I felt it was her responsibility to check up on me after the incident and apologize further, and she never did…until months and months later, right around the timing when I got confirmation that my complaint against her was processed.

It’s ridiculous that professionals in this line of work do this, but this has NO BEARING ON YOU. In fact pat yourself on the back for being LESS fucked up and more together than the therapist, and go ahead and report her ass to the state. They probably won’t take it very seriously, but if I understand right, it goes on a permanent record, and if she has a history of “minor” transgressions this could work against her.

[Reddit User] −  Yeah, that was incredibly unprofessional of her and you are absolutely justified for feeling the way you feel. However, if you really like working with this therapist, you don’t have to fire her just yet. This could be salvageable. You’ve already got some good advice about calling her outside of your session to sort this out. Definitely do that.

This might be a bit of an unpopular thing to say considering therapists are there to help you and you shouldn’t have to worry about their s**t…but…I believe there is value in understanding that therapists are people too. People who make mistakes, have an error in judgment, and can sometimes be distracted. Maybe your therapist was having and off day and made a mistake. It happens.

Here’s my little anecdote about confronting my therapist who was acting unprofessionally, and we were able to work it out and continue therapy. She was chronically late and had a habit of canceling on me very last minute (as in I’d be in the waiting room and she would text me 5 minutes before my session to cancel). So I confronted her. I told her that I needed a therapist I could rely on. I had been seeing her for a year, she knew me very well, I was comfortable speaking with her, and I really didn’t want to start over with someone new.

I told her all of this, and I told her I needed to know whether I could rely on her or not. And if not, I needed to find a new therapist. Well, my therapist assumed all responsibility and was very apologetic. She told me I was absolutely right and that she was failing at her duty as my therapist. She promised to make adjustments in her life so that she could be better at her job. She also congratulated me for speaking up and “lighting a fire under her ass” about this issue. It ended up working out, and we haven’t had any issues since.

So if you confront your therapist about this, that is the kind of response she should have. She should take responsibility, and have absolutely no excuse whatsoever. Not even something small like “oh I was just a little distracted that day” or anything like that. That is not your concern. You should never, ever have to worry whether your therapist is there for you or not. So if you want to continue working with her, it’s worth confronting her on this issue. If she doesn’t respond appropriately, then ditch her. And if you keep her and she ever does this again, then get rid of her.

serefina −  She should have had them wait until their appointment time.