My sister is forcing her religion on me?

A Reddit user (30F) shares her struggle with her sister (29F) who is increasingly pushing her religious beliefs onto her. Growing up as Muslims, the user has moved away from the faith while her sister has become more devout, leading to frequent arguments about their differing beliefs. Despite their love and respect for each other, these debates create tension in their relationship.

The user seeks advice on how to maintain a healthy bond with her sister, navigating their religious differences without losing their close connection. Read the original story below to understand more about this ongoing challenge and the user’s desire to preserve their relationship.

‘ My sister is forcing her religion on me?’

My (30F) sister (29F) has been my bestfriend since she was born. I love and respect her very much. We grew up as Muslims. My parents got more and more religious as they got older and she has followed the same energy in her faith.

I went through the exact opposite journey. I really don’t need to explain this to you I’m sure most of you have gone through either my or my family’s experience in faith. I did confess to my family about my situation a few years ago. It relieved me for a while. They seemed devastated at first but then they started in their own ways to deny and bury things under the carpet.

My sister however was always very expressive about how she felt about it. It kind of shook our friendship for a long time. But we never failed to enjoy each others company. But every now and then we go through the same argument, an argument that can never go anywhere.

Actually it always just ends up with my expressing to her how much respect I have for her and her lifestyle while she explains how she loves me enough to want to save me from my “sins”. She gets super mad and disappointed for a while and then we find each other again somehow and experience a kind of normalcy with our friendship.

I’m at loss here either way. But I need someone to advice me on what to expect going forth. This person is my family but honestly I would’ve chosen to be her friend even if she wasn’t my sister. I can’t lose her I just want to make this work. Do you have any ideas/ approaches I can suggest / make to help make this relationship healthier.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

MaximumSeats −  The only thing you can do is enforce clear boundaries and follow through on enforcing them. “We will not dicuss religion, i love you but this is not a productive conversation and I’m unwilling to engage with it” And when she does bring it up, politely refuse to talk about it. Don’t engage with the merits of the discussion or her points, just completely change the subject.

If she reiterates that’s when you separate yourself from her and make it clear you are not having this conversation. If she continues you leave for the evening. You continue this until she either learns that talking about it will go nowhere or you both learn that this just isn’t something you will ever come to terms with and you slowly stop speaking to one another.

It really sucks to lose the ability to communicate to a family member because they won’t drop the religion angle but it’s happened to thousands and thousands of people across this country and will continue to happen for a long time.

Colossal_Penis_Haver −  Religion is a sickness that almost never goes away. You got away from it. The only way to stay away from it is to *stay away from it*. You need to enforce boundaries. If they’re not respected, there needs to be a consequence you’re willing to enforce. If you’re not willing to go nuclear, I hate to break it to you, it will never go away. This will always be an issue until your sister wakes up.

fightmaxmaster −  Can’t fix what you didn’t break. She’s not forcing anything on you – she just has her beliefs. Why are you arguing about them? She wants to “save you”, you say “thanks but I’m not debating this, but if you want to pray for me please do” and you change the subject. Just don’t engage with it. You can’t make her “approve” but you don’t need to fight with her about it.

CafeteriaMonitor −  The way this relationship stays good is if you can both respect each other’s faith or lack thereof and each other’s lifestyle. It sounds like you are doing well on that front and she is not. You have to have some tough conversations about how you want this sort of stuff:

she explains how she loves me enough to want to save me from my “sins” …to stop. She needs to accept and respect that you are taking a different path. If she can’t do that, then there is always going to be tension.

CompetitiveAffect917 −  I guess before I can come up with a more thoughtful answer, did your parents ever show favoritism towards you or your sister growing up prior to this revelation? I say this just because sometimes it can be hard for the golden child to see thing from the black sheep’s perspective

decaturbob −  – you have to be honest here…it takes TWO people to make any relationship to work…she is never going to stop evangelizing to you about her religion. She has not stopped to date right? Nothing is going to make that happen. So if you have taken the only choice off the table in not being around her, what do expect to hear? If you are unable to set a boundary and enforce it, this situation is unchangeable

StrongTxWoman −  Ask atheism subreddit. They will tell you more what to expect. People believe what they want to believe and can get very offended if you prove them wrong.

Adept-State2038 −  i’ve been there. but you can’t be nice about this. stop telling her how much respect you have for her etc. Start setting strict boundaries that say you will not tolerate her discussing religion or disapproving of your life. If she can’t respect that, then you will have to significantly reduce contact.

If she really loves you then she will give you the same respect you’ve been giving her. But sadly I think she will only understand a very blunt almost harsh stance. You gotta stand up for yourself.

echosiah −  You need to stop having that argument. “We have discussed this many times, sister, and I do not wish to keep having this conversation with you; it is not productive and only hurts us both. We disagree on this and I do not want to hurt our relationship by continuing to argue about it. You are not going to change my feelings on this and so I ask you to respect them.”

And if she continues to keep forcing it, you have to stop the interaction, unfortunately. You don’t need to reason with her about it; she’s not going to care. Unfortunately, if it becomes clear that you will not engage in that type of discussion anymore, she may not want to continue that friendship.

Ok-Class-1451 −  “Respectfully, I refuse to engage with you in any conversations about your faith. Please respect our differences and change the subject. If you won’t respect this boundary, I am not willing to entertain any more of these kinds of conversations with you. I’m not kidding. Drop it.”

Do you think the Reddit user’s approach of respecting her sister’s beliefs while trying to maintain a friendship is sustainable, or is it too challenging to balance faith differences within a close relationship? How would you handle a situation where your family’s beliefs differ so strongly from your own? Share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below!