My sister f26 didn’t invite me f28 to her engagement party. This caused conflict with her fiance. The blame for their breakup has been assigned to me. Where do I go from here?

A Reddit user shared a deeply emotional story about a rift with her sister after being excluded from her engagement party, despite being close to the fiancé for many years. Tensions escalated when her sister accused the fiancé of prioritizing the user over her, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the relationship.

The user is now struggling with the fallout, with her mother blaming her for ruining the engagement. She seeks advice on how to approach her sister for a possible reconciliation. To read the full story and get all the details, check it out below.

‘ My sister f26 didn’t invite me f28 to her engagement party. This caused conflict with her fiance. The blame for their breakup has been assigned to me. Where do I go from here?’

For the sake of transparency, I’m ex fiance’s girl best friend. We have been friends since his family moved across the road from us when I was 11. We have been there for each other through the highs and the lows of our lives.

I was there to play video games with him when his parents were fighting so bad they ended up divorced, he was there for me when my dad died, I was the only “family” at his college graduation and hired a couple of drag queens to come cheer him on with me, he was there for me and my husband when we lost our baby. We have inside jokes, we share the same interests, we have the same friend group.

My sister and I are not so close. Not because we don’t get along, we’re just different people. I don’t want to give a bad impression of my sister and make out she’s some unreasonable jealous banshee, because until this all happened there was no bad blood between us. Or so I thought.

When she and ex fiance came out as a couple I was happy for her. She had finally found a good one and I wanted that for my sister. Was I surprised her good one was my friend? Yeah, but I was no less happy for her.

Ex fiance popped the question in May, the wedding was planned for July 2025, and the engagement party was in September. I don’t know all the details of what happened between them from May through September, but from what my aunt told me, it all centered around me.

It started with my sister asking ex fiance not to ask me to stand up with him as a groomswoman. I didn’t know he was going to ask, I didn’t expect it. My sister told him the reason was because she was planning to ask me to be her MoH. Again, I didn’t know she was going to ask me, and I didn’t expect it.

According to my aunt he kept bringing it up. They didn’t have a lot of time to plan the wedding my sister wanted and the sooner I was able to give them a hand with the planning, the easier it would be all around. I’m not a planner, not professionally or otherwise. What I am is organized and efficient.

My sister is disorganized and inefficient. She likes to leave things to the very last minute. Most of the time that works for her. But I know her dream wedding, she’s been planning it since before she got her first boyfriend. She would need as much time as possible to pull it all together.

According to my aunt they began to argue. My sister would accuse ex fiance of wanting me to be a part of the wedding more than he wanted to marry her. He began to accuse her of being needlessly insecure and jealous.

There were some nights during those months me and my husband would get home from work to find him waiting for us. This wasn’t out of the ordinary. He would spend the night on our couch, which also wasn’t unusual, but never gave a hint that there was trouble in their relationship. My sister, too, didn’t say a word about it. At least not to me.

They planned their engagement party. My friend group also being ex fiance’s friend group, I find it strange that no whisper got back to any of us about it. But none of us recieved invitations and none of us knew about it. Surely ex fiance mentioned it to someone? Turns out he didn’t. He thought we all knew and had RSVP’d.

He didn’t know my sister had given verbal invitations and asked people to keep it quiet as they were only inviting a small number to save for the wedding. It wasn’t until he saw all his friends missing from the celebration that he had suspicions that something was amiss.

The next day he asked her why none of his friends were at the party, why me, her own sister didn’t attend. She told him that none of us could make it, that we all had other commitments. He didn’t believe her and pushed her on it. They argued about it long and hard until she finally snapped.

She spewed out a whole heap of stuff about how he always prioritizes me over her, that she knows he’s been in love with me since we were kids, how she used to spy on us when we were teens and I was always at his house playing video games,

how after our dad died he barely left my side, how she thought my baby must have been his because of how much support he gave us during the funeral and in the following weeks. She then told him it was time he chose. So he did. He took his ring off her finger and walked out.

The first I heard about any of this was when my mom called me to cuss me out about ruining my sister’s happiness. I asked her what she was talking about and she kept saying that I knew what I had done. She hung up on me then called my husband at work to tell him about my secret affair with ex fiance.

My husband thinks both my mom and sister are ridiculous and dramatic so he didn’t listen to her for long before hanging up on her. He didn’t even bother to tell me she called him until he got home from work, and then he was all disinterested in the topic like he was giving me instructions on how to watch paint dry.

Tbh, until my husband told me about the call, I thought my mom was on some trip. That she was off her meds or something, even though she’s not on medication for anything, she can become very excitable about stuff. That’s when I decided to call my sister. No answer. I called my mom. No answer. I called ex fiance. Again, no answer.

I have since had ex fiance’s account of everything. I, unfortunately, can see it all happening as he says it happened. But I don’t have my sister’s side of the story. I don’t want to make any assumptions, come to any conclusions until I talk to her.

Wanting to talk to her has nothing to do with her relationship with ex fiance, that’s for them to sort out. It has everything to do with us as sisters. She is my only sister. My baby sister. We may not have been close at any point in our lives, but we were never adversaries.

Our older brothers, my younger brother, and my husband are telling me to let sleeping does lie. That whatever her issues they are her issues, and if mom wants to play into it then let her go too.

I’m fine with putting my relationship with mom on the backburner. My sister, not so much. This estrangement hurts my heart.

Has anyone any advice on how I can bring about a conversation and hopefully a reconciliation?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Kragg_hack −  Sadly I can only say what others have said if the story that have been told to you is true (and I assume you tell what you have done as true). It’s your sister that destroyed the relationship with her ex fiancé, it’s she that have caused all the drama and she did this all for jealousy.

You yourself can’t fix anything with your sister, because what can you say? Sorry you messed up a relationship with a great guy? Unfortunately I think your relationship with your sister is pretty much destroyed for a long time or even for good. And the sad part is that you did nothing.

Your sister’s brain ghost did it all. If your sister ever do contact you, you should of course do what you can to rebuild the relationship, but until or if she do that I can’t see anything you actually can say or do to restart the relationship.

What you might be able to fix is the relationship with your mom, but first she needs to apologize for her words. So send her a message were you lay out all the lies she said and how hurtful they were. And say that when she can give you an apology for it she maybe will have a relationship with you and your family. Until then you will have no contact with her.

PokadotExpress −  They have to be able to have a conversation based in reality if you’ll reconnect. Your mom has already picked a side and they seem to both be committed to you’re having an affair with your friend.

Don’t try and reconnect until they reach out or you know it won’t cause you more stress. You can’t control their delusions and logic won’t work when they are dead set on you being the reason. The actual reason seems to be that your sister is crazy jealous and making wild demands based off of delusions.

Butterfl_Blue0324 −  Listen, when women like that create scenarios in their head, there’s no convincing them differently. Y’all were never close because in her head, you took her crush away from her.

If you want to have a conversation with her, you can BUT PLEASE DO NOT go by yourself & if she doubles down on it, then let it go! Let her & your mother wallow in their delusions. At least you can say you tried but don’t continue to try to get her to understand because she never will.

Equal-Brilliant2640 −  LEAVE IT ALONE!! STOP trying to talk with her. It just makes you look more guilty in her mind. She has convinced herself you have an inappropriate relationship with her ex

She destroyed her own life, you’re an innocent bystander in all this mess. Some folks truly believe that men and women can’t just be friends. Some believe there is always s** involved

Your relationship is probably damaged beyond repair. Nothing you say or do will change this. Let it go, talk with a therapist if you have to. You no longer have a sister. Because unless she seeks out professional help, or there is divine intervention, she will go to her grave believing you destroyed her relationship.

Just ignore her and your mother, she has latched onto this delusion. Go no contact with her as well. It may not be forever, but it is for the foreseeable future. Let it go

baymadebayraised −  Respectfully, you need to let your sister and mother work through whatever narrative they’ve created in their mind. I’m including your mother because she’s probably pumping her up and validating her thoughts.

Seeing how far things have gone I don’t think there is anything you could say to shift your sister’s thinking. Sometimes you do have to leave things alone for them to actually work out. Attempting to force a conversation isn’t it.

To have a productive conversation she’ll have to recognize that she was wrong, created a false narrative and acted terribly for no reason. That she destroyed her happiness for nothing. She has to do that on her time, not yours.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 −  Sadly I think the relationship with your sister is done, the reason you were never close is because when you were 11 you became friends with her crush. I don’t think you knew that at the time, but it’s been the thing keeping you apart all this time.

And I think your relationship with your mom is the same, she didn’t even ask you if it was true, she knew you did it, and even took the initiative to out you to your husband. Your sister believes what she wants to believe, and your mom just wants to co-sign her baby girl.

I get wanting to hear her side, but please remember that you offering her more leeway than she ever gave you, and even now won’t even take your calls , after accusing you of a**ltery and turning your mother against you.

Token_or_TolkienuPOS −  If you were surprised to learn they are now a couple, how much you wanna bet SHE did the pursuing, the secret dating and convinced him to do the “reveal” that way? This whole relationship was not organic. She was probably pining for him for yrs and then just decided that she’s gonna “take” him from you.

It was never gonna work in the long run, with family get togethers, kids and other things in the mix because she would have always been in competitive mode unbeknownst to you, while giving him grief at home about you. This is what happens when a person unilaterally decides to change the natural order of things and insert themselves in a situation that’s bigger than them. She should have seen and kept him as her sister’s friend, not a romantic prospect.

curlyq9702 −  Honestly, the relationship ending is due to your sister. Your mother feeding into it is her feeding into it. There is nothing you can do to change your sister’s mind at all. She’s going to believe what she chooses. There is nothing you can say or do to change it.

MuntjackDrowning −  Honey, honestly leave it for now. Women like your sister, they don’t just create scenarios in their minds, they create worlds and realities that have nothing to do with reality. My older half sister is like your sister.

You/us in their heads, we are the source of all their sorrow and misery, when we are just living our lives. This is pick me behavior to the extreme. It isn’t just us, all women in the lives of their interest, we are the enemy, regardless of platonic relationship.

This isn’t an issue of you, this is an issue of your sister being so incredibly insecure that she cannot allow, I’m just saying your bestie since I’ve been drinking and words are hard, your sister has a pathological need to be THE PERSON in his life. The only person in his life. You will be villainized by her FOREVER.

How did their relationship begin? Who pursued who? If it was her, it was from a need to win over you. If it was the other way around, she assumed she would be the center of his universe and that you would be ghosted. Your mother taking her side is strictly because, she got there first…long before anything was called to anyone else’s attention. Your sister has been poisoning the well for a very long time. Your bestie was probably just a trophy to her.

Obvious_Fox_1886 −  You cannot fix this…its your sisters doing and yes she is jealous of you and her ex fiances entire friend group. Your sister cannot stand that your life long friend wanted you to be a groomswoman at his wedding to her. Shes probably always been jealous of you.

Your mother is also on her side and you may need to go no contact for awhile. Your sister might have thought she was taking him away from you when she started dating him. Your friend found out just how crazy and insane you sister really was and didnt invite any of his friend group because that included you.

That was it for him and he chose not have that insanity in his life. If you look back over your life..you might see other instances of your sister being jealous of you that you might have overlooked because you love her. 

Do you think the user’s actions played a part in the breakup, or was her sister’s jealousy the root cause? How would you handle a family estrangement like this, especially with such deep emotional ties? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!