My sister [32F] made a GIANT scene at my [26F] baby shower

A Redditor (26F) shares how her baby shower, organized by her mom and MIL, was derailed by her pregnant sister (32F), who stormed out and caused a scene due to jealousy over attention. This isn’t the first time her sister’s behavior has disrupted important events. Now, the Redditor questions whether to continue planning her sister’s upcoming baby shower or draw boundaries. Read the full story below:

‘ My sister [32F] made a GIANT scene at my [26F] baby shower’

My mom and my MIL threw me a surprise baby shower on Sunday and invited all of my family and most of my friends who are in my hometown. It was great, I don’t usually get to see everyone when I visit so it was really nice to have them all there. My sister is also pregnant, she is 34 weeks and I am 36 weeks. My mom and I have been planning her baby shower with her that will be two weeks from now.

At the shower, everyone kept complimenting me on how tiny I am and how good I look and I could see my sister was getting really jealous. It was really upsetting her so I tried to change the topic but after the first little bit she retreated to a table in the corner with her friend looking incredibly angry. I tried to ignore it and we started playing shower games.

Later, her friend asked if any of us knew where she was since she hadn’t seen her in a while. Everyone was extremely worried because she wasn’t answering her phone and we thought she could have gone into labor or fallen or something terrible. The shower was in a party room at an arena so it’s a huge building and everyone there (~70 of us) began searching the entire place up and down looking for her.

Many people got into their cars to drive around the area and the different routes to the hospital to see if they saw her car. We also called her husband to see if he had heard from her and he left work to help look. My other sister found her sulking inside a timmies.

She refused to come back to the shower because she was upset that she wasn’t getting any attention and everyone was fawning over me. It took a while for everyone who left to get back and while we tried to carry on with the shower, the whole mood was soured and it was really awkward. I’m so upset with her now.

I suspect once the baby comes I won’t go down to my hometown as much and I won’t get to see many of those people as often as I did before, so that was my last chance to get together with everyone before the baby. It’s not even the first time she’s done something like this. At my wedding she complained to anyone who was willing to listen about how my husband is very touchy-feely with me.

And now whenever he touches me in any way in front of her she’ll grumble and roll her eyes like she is upset that he is attracted to me or something. He dropped me off at the shower and when we were talking to friends he was standing behind me holding my belly and she said “that’s disgusting” and made a gagging noise.

She also won’t show up to something unless someone has called her to ask where she is and tell her were waiting for her, it’s a little game that she likes to play. I don’t know what her problem is but I’m so sick of it. She hasn’t spoken to me since the incident and won’t return my calls or texts but I think she owes me an apology.

If she can’t apologize I don’t think I want to continue to plan and pay for her baby shower. Is that fair? My mom and my aunt think I just need to try to move past it because “that’s just how she is.” My husband feels differently and he thinks I should stop doing anything for her because she continuously disrespects* us and our marriage.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

yoodenvranx −  She also won’t show up to something unless someone has called her to ask where she is and tell her were waiting for her, it’s a little game that she likes to play. Then please stop playing this game.

spludgiexx −  I initially thought that maybe she did that because she’s also pregnant and her hormones are going crazy, but honestly it just sounds like she’s an attention seeker. Because of this, I don’t think she’s going to apologize. Why should she get attention at YOUR shower?

It’s not like you got a shower and she wasn’t going to get one. That’s just ridiculous. It doesn’t matter if “that’s just how she is” it’s not acceptable, and it sounds like it has happened repeatedly throughout the years.

I agree with your husband. Clearly you try and try to do things for her and she’s just going around playing games and trying to get everyone to focus on her even if it’s not her event. I don’t see why you have to bother planning and paying for her shower when she hasn’t shown you any respect when it is an event about you.

sweetpea122 −  I wouldnt unless she apologizes. “thats just how she is” wouldnt cut it anymore. Taking the attention off you in a positive way at your wedding was bad enough

RogueKitteh −  Your sister sounds delightful. I’d personally have nothing to do with her or her baby shower until I got a sincere apology. My mom and my aunt think I just need to try to move past it because “that’s just how she is.” Absurd. She’s a grown ass woman and needs to act accordingly. Honestly your sister sounds like a class A narcissist and your mom is her enabler.

HelpMyBabySleep −  “That’s how she is,” is a great excuse. The best thing about it is, it works both ways. That’s how she is. And that’s how you are. She’s a person who cannot handle not being the center of attention. And you’re a person who’s decided to no longer put up with her b**lshit. She can be how she is without any consequences to her.

And you should be able to be how you are (an adult who doesn’t need any toxic people in her life) without any consequence to you. Don’t get into arguments or discussions with anyone about it. This is how you are. Shrug.

That said, it’s unfair to your mom to make her spend more money than she expected on no notice. So I would still give her the money. You don’t need to punish your mom. But certainly you’re not obligated to plan your sister’s shower or to show up to it. And going forward, your husband is right.

disagreeabledinosaur −  Why on earth would 70 people leave a party to search for one adult who had decided (of her own accord) to leave? All that warranted was an “oh she mustn’t have been feeling well, better ring her husband so he can check up on her” and to continue with the festivities. You made the scene every bit as much as your sister did.

mollyweasley −  If you all know your sister is a huge d**ma queen who needs to make everything about her, why did you put your shower on hold for everyone to go look for her? My first thought would have been, “I bet she went off to pout, oh well, moar presentz plz!” It’s definitely time for you and your family to stop indulging in her theatrics. She’s an adult, and you’re not responsible for her feelings.

valiantdistraction −  Well to be fair, it isn’t HER that made the huge scene, but the search for her. She just went off to sulk somewhere – everyone else freaked out. Yeah, it would’ve been nice of her to notify someone that she was stepping out to be alone for a bit,

but ultimately she is an adult and someone leaving a party early shouldn’t be a gigantic cause for alarm. Don’t make her baby shower your last stand. If you’ve already committed to it, do it, and drop contact *after* that.

ofmiceandmodems −  Your sister is nuts. Does your sister have a SO? I didn’t see you mention that. Maybe that’s why she’s so jealous of you and your relationship with your SO? Regardless of her feelings she shouldn’t be taking her issues out on you. At first I thought it was a case of her having extreme pregnancy hormones, but if she acted this way at your wedding (assuming she wasn’t pregnant then) then she’s just a bitter person.

I think you need to put your foot down and stop paying for these expensive parties for her that she doesn’t appreciate. Stop calling her. Stop giving her the time of day. If your mom asks why tell her you’ll need a heartfelt apology from your sister for treating you badly. Saying “that’s just how she is” is stupid, lazy reasoning that allows people to carry on with their s**t behavior. No. You don’t have to deal with that. Put a stop to it today.

HateIsStronger −  She didn’t make a giant scene. She left. You are the ones that made a big deal about it.

Family drama often complicates milestone events. Should she hold her sister accountable and step back from planning her baby shower, or let it go for the sake of family harmony? What would you do? Share your thoughts below!