My sister [26] is telling family members that my husband [31] is a “bully” because he embarrassed her wannabe MMA-fighter boyfriend [24] after the guy tried to show off his fighting prowess at my [32F] apartment

A Redditor (32F) shares an amusing yet frustrating story about how her sister’s boyfriend, a self-proclaimed MMA fighter, was outmatched by her unassuming husband during a casual demonstration of strength. What started as harmless fun has spiraled into family drama, with accusations of bullying flying around. Dive into the story below.

‘ My sister [26] is telling family members that my husband [31] is a “bully” because he embarrassed her wannabe MMA-fighter boyfriend [24] after the guy tried to show off his fighting prowess at my [32F] apartment’

Sister’s boyfriend is an aspiring MMA fighter. I think he is a middleweight. He also is a PX90 trainer and fitness coach. Stereotypical “bro jock.” My husband is a science teacher and NOT a jock. Though he happens to have a black belt in judo, which he doesn’t go around telling people.

Sister and her boyfriend were watching football at our apartment last weekend. Talk turned to mixed martial arts, and my sister’s boyfriend starts pontificating and humble bragging about how tough it is, and by extension how tough HE is. He goes on and on about how he is “not a huge guy but can take down anyone,” and that he has moves that are impossible to counter.

He’s about the same height as my own husband (my husband is Japanese; sister’s boyfriend is Irish-American) but much more muscular. My husband is fit but very slender. Anyway my husband innocently says that no move is really impossible to counter.

So, since his jock sensibilities were threatened, sister’s boyfriend offers to demonstrate an unbreakable hold on my husband. My husband doesn’t talk about judo with anyone and not even my sister knows he’s a high-ranking expert, so her boyfriend tries to demonstrate the hold, and my husband easily breaks it.

So, he says he was going easy on my husband, and offers to try harder. My husband consents, and this time not only breaks the hold again, but counters the move and holds sister’s boyfriend in a compromising, embarrassing position, and tells him to break the hold.

Sister’s boyfriend is totally humiliated and eventually “surrenders.” He is humble about it and shakes my husband’s hand. Rest of the afternoon seemed to go just fine. But later on Facebook my sister mentions to me that my husband was being a bully to her boyfriend.

In fact my mom called me later and told me to tell my husband to stop showing off, and for him to stop messing with sister’s boyfriend. One would think my husband was stealing candy from children or something.

I texted my sister back and said that her boyfriend was the one bragging endlessly about what a badass he thinks he is, and out of nowhere challenges my husband to break an “impossible” hold, and so my husband humors him and does exactly that.

I personally think my sister is just butthurt because she knows my meek little husband would absolutely smack the s**t out of her alpha dog if they had a fight, and she’s processing it all like an immature ten year old instead of moving on with her job of…

Unemployed. Then she went into a long spiel about how teachers are all corrupt (I’m a teacher too, for history) and just collecting paychecks and doing a lousy job, and how I think that now that I married a foreign person I think I’m exotic now. Ouch. Tell me what you really think, sis!

I told her that she was acting like some of the middle school kids at mine and my husband’s work. Now she’s saying that I’m bullying HER by saying that. But is it true? Was my husband being a bully? It seemed like the other guy had a sporting attitude about being beaten, so I don’t get why sister is so mad.

I realize she’s proud of her boyfriend being fit or being a cage fighter or whatever but she should know that one shouldn’t go around trying to act like you’re tougher than everyone else, because eventually someone will check you.. —

**tl;dr**: My husband made my sister’s PX90/MMA boyfriend cry “mercy” and now my sister is calling my husband a bully.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

[Reddit User] −  “Sister, what you’re saying is really insulting to your boyfriend. There’s a lot of honor amongst fighters and losing gracefully is a very important. Why are you diminishing your boyfriend by implying he was bullied? You’re making him sound like a frightened little boy instead of the trained fighter he is. Do you think he’d appreciate you condescending to him like that? Does he know this is what you think of him?”. Or

“What happened, happened between two trained fighters. It’s between them. As experienced practitioners of martial arts both understand how to win or lose gracefully. It’s part of the sport they both practice and love. To call it bullying is really disrespectful to the time and effort they spent training and insulting to them. ”

sparkyinbozo −  I told her that she was acting like some of the middle school kids. This is exactly what’s happening, OP. They’re throwing a tantrum and doubling-down on it. Maybe, at worst, it was a little sneaky because boyfriend didn’t know about your husband’s training, but that’s like a 0.5/10 on the Bad-move-ometer. She’s being wholly inappropriate and immature, and probably throwing around the “bully” word because she knows it’s a hot button issue at schools.

RememberKoomValley −  I’m sitting here grinning. My own partner is a 5’3 Taiwanese-American with a sweet face and a low voice. Very, very quiet. Gentle. Lets spiders out of the shower, won’t kill wasps in the house, cuddles his cat and makes silly voices. Sysadmin by trade, likes video games and SF movies, he’s just about the dictionary definition of “unassuming.”

He’s also a kung fu instructor who regularly takes first place at the biggest tournament on this half of the country. Can casually run across a room on his hands, knows dozens of different weapons, does all his push-ups on his fingertips, all that flashy stuff.

So, basically, I’m walking into this one already biased? But no, to me, it doesn’t sound at all like your husband was in the wrong. MMA Jock Dude huffed and puffed, and it accomplished nothing. Some lessons have to be learnt. People who go on about how they are unbeatable are frequently the easiest to beat.

People who think they’ve found the Perfect Move haven’t ever had enough practice, or enough practice partners, and in all honestly I feel like your husband did him a favor. After all, if it’d been in a real bout it would have been a lot more humiliating.

Then she went into a long spiel about how teachers are all corrupt (I’m a teacher too, for history) and just collecting paychecks and doing a lousy job, and how I think that now that I married a foreign person I think I’m exotic now. That sounds a lot like jealousy. Not to mention kind of r**ist? I mean, as an Asian woman myself, “exotic” is one of my most-loathed words to hear applied to another human being.

PurplePlurple −  Your husband is not a bully. This other guy thought his s**t didn’t stink and your husband, IMHO, actually did him a courtesy – this humbling experience was a lesson to be learned. You are right – your sister is butthurt and being a poor sport.

Calling you a bully is her simply pushing delusion to garner support, don’t allow it to inflate the situation. I would expect more from someone her age. Your sister’s boyfriend was puffing his chest and didn’t have respect for the art – your husband knows more about martial arts, considering his demeanor, and he did something that wouldn’t necessarily be out of place for a sensei to do to a student.

When I was younger, I had a cousin who claimed that all you need to do to defend yourself, was hit someone in the nuts. He’s like 10 or 12 and clearly knows jack s**t. My dad works in a dangerous work environment and challenged him. He ended up hanging my cousin by the a**le and told him, defend yourself. You either learn your lesson among friends or you get burnt hard by your opponents.

[Reddit User] −  I personally think my sister is just butthurt because she knows my meek little husband would absolutely smack the s**t out of her alpha dog if they had a fight, and she’s processing it all like an immature ten year old instead of moving on with her job of… Unemployed. This is the key line in your post. There is clearly so much b**lshit between you and your sister, going both ways. Leave your husbands out of it.

iwasjackduluoz −  Your sister is nuts. It sounds like her boyfriend actually handled it pretty well, all things considered. I think she’s just embarrassed that her tough guy boyfriend got beat up by a smaller guy.

bumblejoy −  But is it true? Was my husband being a bully? Nope. And it sounds like your sister’s BF knows it. I personally think my sister is just butthurt because she knows my meek little husband would absolutely smack the s**t out of her alpha dog if they had a fight, and she’s processing it all like an immature ten year old instead of moving on with her job of… Unemployed.

She has tied up her own self-worth in her boyfriend’s strength/fighting prowess. And, in her own mind at least, had done the same thing to you and your husband, allowing her to feel superior to you to the extent that she believed her BF could kick your husband’s b**t.

Your husband made clear how ridiculous that notion was and she is now looking for other ways of feeling superior. Like a petulant middle-schooler, as you say. Her striking out at you and your husband because of feelings of inferiority are the real issue here. Not the interaction between your respective SOs.

mkay0 −  Your sister has no idea what she’s in for if her BF continues to train to fight. He’s going to be humbled over and over again. Even with the world’s greatest attitude, a fighter is constantly humbled in practice. They are in for a rude awakening.

brettatron1 −  Haha… you guys are acting like siblings. Its funny. Quit posturing. No one here is a bully. Her boyfriend isn’t a bad dude, just not a dude you find particularly attractive. He was even humble about getting beat, by your own admission.

Your sister is mad because siblings and that is really all there is here. Its the same reason you are like: “he knows my meek little husband would absolutely smack the s**t out of her alpha dog if they had a fight”. Yall are just badmouthing each other and thats about it.

edit: just read some other comments. Jeez is reddit ever getting a justice-boner here. You really sold it OP; the mild mannered good guy took on the loud mouth bad guy and won! Of course… maybe its because we only have your side? Sure, your sister is acting childish, but… uh… so are you. But you are siblings and thats what siblings do.

AggieRick −  Your sister sounds like she is 10 years old. Set your mother and others straight on the facts and then ignore what she has to say since she cant act like an adult.

This story highlights how insecurities can blow light-hearted moments out of proportion. The husband didn’t seem to intend any harm, and the boyfriend himself was humble about losing. However, family dynamics often add layers of complexity to such incidents. How would you handle a situation where family pride clashes with harmless fun? Share your thoughts below!