My kids won’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas.

A Reddit user shares a difficult family situation where their daughters, who are both in college, refuse to attend Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings due to political disagreements. The family, especially the parents and siblings, are all Trump supporters, which has led to tense confrontations.

The daughters, one of whom is a lesbian, have chosen to distance themselves from the family, and their father, who supports their decision, faces backlash from the rest of the family for not pressuring the girls to attend. To see how this family drama unfolded, read the original story below.

‘ My kids won’t come to Thanksgiving or Christmas. ‘

I have two daughter that are both in college. We have a family group chat with my parents, all of my siblings and all the grandchildren. My parents and siblings are all Trump voters/supporters and are not shy about it. Most family gatherings will devolve into arguing between them and myself.

I grew up in the shitshow. My kids did not. After the election my kids silently left the group chat. My mother and sisters are trying to plan thanksgiving through the chat. When my mother noticed my daughters left she called to ask me why. I told her they are grown adults and she would need to ask them. So she did.

One of my two daughters is lesbian. When my mother asked the two girls they told my mom that they would no longer be attending any family functions including Christmas and thanksgiving. This created a shitshow on an epic scale in the family chat.

My mother tried to explain to my kids that their vote had nothing to do with them. My oldest explained that they exposed their character and they were raised to not engage with people that condone rape, lying and cheating. She told my mother that your votes will directly impact our lives in a negative way and you guys did not care.

You chose a politicians h**low words over you grandkids. There was more and I’m paraphrasing. My parents and siblings are furious. I think it’s important to say that I pay for both of my kids college, their health insurance, car insurance, food and gas.

I pay for airfare when they come home. They don’t work. My deal with them was if they went to school and got good grades I would pay if I could.My mother wants me to cut them off until they come to thanksgiving and Christmas.

I said no. I have my kids back and they are adults. I will not force them to make a choice they don’t want to make. My siblings are saying I m an a**hole and I’m dividing the family. I honestly never thought I’d be in this insane situation but here we are.. So Reddit, ATIAH?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Grateful_Grateful −  NTA. You’re not even the one who’s not coming, and it’s completely unreasonable for your parents and sister to call you an a**hole for “not cutting them off if they won’t come to thanksgiving.” I’m sorry this is happening, it’s awful but please know you are in no way being an a**hole.

mh6797 −  NTA but you should plan on meeting up with your kids and celebrate with them.

Curbsnugglin −  The fact your mother wants to financially coerce your kids to come endure their abuse is extremely telling. NTA, great job standing up for your kids.

shammy_dammy −  NTA. Time for you to start putting your family on a contact time out. Don’t do holidays with them this year.

abritinthebay −  NTA. At all. Voting has consequences & this is one of them. My mother wants me to cut them off until they come to thanksgiving and Christmas. Sounds like your kids were *exactly* correct about her character. Personally I’d cut her off too for this suggestion

Sassy-Peanut −  I think we all know who has caused serious rifts within families and it’s not your kids. As your daughter said, she was raised not to condone rape, lying and cheating \[i.e. fraud\] so why should she respect those who voted a criminal with no shame into office?

GothChica14 −  Your family get-togethers seem like such a treat, wow. There is nothing like a contentious political dispute to spoil the holidays. Well done to your children for defending their convictions and avoiding contact with those who condone such destructive behavior.

Bravo to you for encouraging them and not pressuring them to go. Politics should have no place in a family; love and respect should. Do not let the narrow-mindedness of your family drag you down; keep being yourself.

Sea-Ad9057 −  why dont you visit your kids and spend thanksgiving with them instead of your family

Eloni16 −  NTA. Can confirm in that I’m in a similar situation. My parents in-law are Trump supporters. The day after the election my oldest told me that they wouldn’t be attending any family gatherings where their grandparents would be.

My knee-j**k reaction was to object that we should ‘stay and fight’. But they rightfully pointed out that it wasn’t their responsibility to teach their grandparents basic human decency. They shouldn’t have to debase themselves by humoring arguments about what rights they deserve.

RiseandGrind211 −  NTA. They’re smart enough not to associate with bigots

Do you think the Reddit user was right to stand by his daughters and respect their decision, or was it too harsh to not push them to attend family events? How would you handle such a deep political and personal divide in your family? Share your thoughts in the comments below!