My husband said if he ever had to choose to let either me or his parent’s dogs live, he’d choose the dogs?

A Redditor shared a shocking experience involving their husband and his overwhelming attachment to his parents’ golden retrievers, who were staying at their apartment for Christmas. The dogs’ presence has disrupted the couple’s relationship, as the husband prioritizes the dogs’ comfort over his wife’s, even insisting one dog sleeps on their bed while she adjusts around it.

Tensions escalated when he admitted, during an emotional conversation, that he values the dogs more than his wife and even her daughter. Though he later claimed his answers were jokes, the user believes he was entirely serious. Read the full story below to uncover the details of this unsettling situation.

‘ My husband said if he ever had to choose to let either me or his parent’s dogs live, he’d choose the dogs?’

The article has the next update at the end.
My husband is watching 2 (out of 4) of his parents golden retrievers during Christmas. So 2 of them are here at our apartment. They are old and sweet and one of them can barely walk. I’ve always loved his parents dogs, and I love on them when they are here.

The other night, though, he let me know that it is priority that the dogs (well mainly one dog since the other can’t get on there) get to sleep on the bed and I’ll either need to sleep on the guest bed or move my legs for the dog. I asked why they couldn’t sleep on the guest bed or floor or literally anywhere else. He was single and living with his parents until he met me at age 34, so the dogs slept on his bed highly and were his rock. We got married last February.

t’s a queen bed and the golden is huge, so he takes up most of it. He also won’t move when gently pushed, and like to place himself in the middle of the complete left side of the bed. My husband told me not to make him move or shove him, but to work around him. When I gently laid my leg on TOP of the dog, he said it was too over for the dog.

Mind you, my husband hen got to sleep stretched out on his bed. The first morning I woke up on my side wanting to die. The dogs massive weight had contorted the bed in just enough of a way to bend my back backwards and make me think I was literally having a double kidney infection. I must have slept in a semi back bend position all night.

Last night I asked him to switch places with me, and he did so to prove a point. 5 minutes after laying on the gravity providing sinking hole of the dogs half of the bed, my husband whales in pain like something sharp had stabbed him in the back. He changed positions but i insisted he sleep on the dogs side with the dog because i was so sore.

Before we went to sleep, I was listening to him whisper sweet nothings to the dogs. I’m not the weird jealous type over dogs. I grew up with 2 goldens ans a shih tzu and I truly adore dogs. But he wouldn’t even touch me when they are around. They 100% fill his emotional cup. Sometimes we will be out at a restaurant or something and he’ll stare off with teary eyes. When I ask what’s up, he says he misses his dogs. Multiple times I will ask him what he’s in deep thought about, and he says his dogs.

I asked him if he wanted to snuggle and he said no. He kept making comments about how he’s sad his dogs don’t have more room. I’ve noticed I’ve had this increasing awareness that he might 100% value his dogs more than me. I explained this away to myself as being logical as we’ve only been married since February. For context, I grew up always putting others first and valuing myself as less inherently than those around me (church taught me that God wants us to put others before ourselves and I spiraled.

This seems silly, but an example of this is that I would show up to church with my family and there would be one donut left, my blood sugar was routinely low and I’d help my 3 little brothers get ready so I didn’t have time to eat. I would let whatever old person have the last donut and I would go completely sweaty and blackout, but this was the extreme fear I developed of ever putting myself first.

Back to the scene in beds. I finally said, kind of joking, that I feel sometimes like he loves his dogs more than me. He got quiet. Like I said, I was kind of joking at first, but his silence was SILENT. I said oh my god, do you? Silence. “Are you serious?” He finally sighed and said “Well…they are my babies. They’re my everything.” I was completely silent. Stunned.

Im also aware that love for dogs and human love are not the easiest things to have compared in a question like this, but it seems he wasn’t aware of that cuz the boy knew how to answer. I asked if he was serious and he said yes. I pushed if further because of course I did. I had to know the extent of this unsettling answer. I asked if a gun was to either my head or the dogs heads, would he choose me or the dogs.

He got quiet again and told me thats not a fair question because that would never happen. Wtf. So I insisted on my hypothetical question because now i was just shell shocked. He finally admitted that he would choose to let me die over dogs. Oh, and my daughter. His step daughter. He said he’d choose to let both me and my daughter die. Over his parents dogs. I was visibly upset and shocked at how serious he was answering.

I said do you even love me? He got quiet. I asked again. Silence. He could see I was horrified and tearing up. He finally got annoyed and said of course he does! And that he only hesitated because it was a stupid question. He then said he was kidding about the dog stuff and only answered that way to show me those were stupid questions. Only guys, he wasn’t kidding. I really believe no part of that was a joke. I know joking. He was not kidding, at all.

Next update: https://aita.pics/inGTy

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Acceptable_Bunch_586 −  When he expected you to sleep somewhere else to make space for the dogs that was the point to give him notice. He’s a mess and frankly not very respectful or caring. He needs to get gone.

RiskShort1399 −  Time to say good bye IMO. You have a man child. Sure his dogs are important, but his reaction to your question and the “just kidding” are indicative of his actual choice.

JennaTheBenna −  well you married a man baby who lived with mommy and daddy until moving straight in with you. Red flag.

littlemissbecky −  How many different ways does this l**er have to tell you that you are not his priority?

LarkScarlett −  He showed you who he is today—please believe him. This man doesn’t have room in his heart to love you and your daughter. He doesn’t want to work on things in any way that’s a hardship or uncomfortable for him—he expects compromise from you, but wont compromise meaningfully himself. That’s tragic and heartrending, but it’s honest. Please, please remember this.

Maybe he’s the kind of guy who makes a good friend, but a bad boyfriend (and an even worse stepfather). Putting your needs and your daughter’s needs first is not selfish. This man has shown you that he doesn’t and will never put you and your daughter first. You deserve to be comfortable in your own damn bed. You and your daughter both deserve better—and only you can make sure that happens.

SloshingSloth −  he tears up randomly thinking of the dogs that’s telling enough . we have dogs and i raised them since they were pups. i adore them but that’s just too much.

Classic-West-2412 −  He was single and living with his parents until he met me at age 34 Stuff like this is why, he needs psychological help. I’d be shocked if you said this was the first time something bizarre like this had come from them. EDIT for Sidenote: If he’s that concerned about sleeping with them tell him to find somewhere on the floor or elsewhere to sleep with them himself. They should not be impairing your sleep, especially not to the degree. Don’t be a doormat.

The_Salty_Red_Head −  GET OUT. I am not joking. This dude is unstable. Those answers are crazy. He clearly does not love you. You need to go elsewhere and keep you and your daughter as far away from him and his beastiaility leaning self as physically possible. I adore animals but not like this.

CrowTengu −  Why bother with this man? Just file an annulment or divorce or something, unless he’s willing to do the work to make things better for everyone involved, which seem rather unlikely.

moonandsunandstars −  I always get the vibe that people who love dogs that much only do so because they can control them and the dog will love them no matter most of their poor behaviors.