My husband (m35) is a doctor and refused to let me (f26) go to the hospital. I’m really confused as to why?

A Reddit user (26F) shares her experience with her husband (35M), a doctor, who refused to take her seriously when she was in excruciating pain. Despite her urging to go to the ER, he dismissed her concerns until it was too late and she had to undergo emergency surgery for a ruptured appendix.

While he was kind and attentive during her hospital stay, his behavior afterward has been strange, and he now treats her as if she’s being dramatic. The user is confused and unsure why he’s acting this way, especially since he’s always been a good husband in the past. Read the original story below:

‘ My husband (m35) is a doctor and refused to let me (f26) go to the hospital. I’m really confused as to why? ‘

Me and my husband have been married for two years. He’s always been a very good husband and we’ve had a great marriage. About three weeks ago I started to have on and off pain in my stomach. I thought it was cramps and my husband said I’d be fine.

I wasn’t really worried until it started to get worse over the course of that week, until it was excruciating. My husband acted more annoyed than concerned, even when my temp was 103. He kept telling me to take some pain meds and a shower.

When I said I thought I needed to go to the ER, he told me no, that it was unnecessary. Even when I cried in pain, he didn’t comfort me at all. He genuinely rolled his eyes at one point. (Also I’m not dramatic about pain at all, I’m rarely sick, so this wasn’t like a normal thing).

Well in the middle of the night the pain suddenly stopped hurting, and that was concerning to him. In the morning he tossed a bottle of water at me and told me I looked better. I told him it stopped hurting. He then took me to the ER and I guess that happens when your appendix ruptures?

Anyway so I had surgery and a bad infection. I was in the hospital for like a week and a half I think. While I was there my husband was very kind and attentive, but ever since I’ve been home he’s back to insinuating I’m being dramatic. I’m genuinely so confused as to why he’s acting like this.

When I ask he insists he’s not acting that way, though he clearly is. He genuinely asked me yesterday if I was going to cook dinner. Like?? Why is he like this. He’s never ever been this type of person before. Is it because he’s a doctor? I don’t know. Someone tell me what you think.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

buttons159 −  OP I’m a doctor and. 1. How the f**k did he miss that diagnosis. I saw it coming from your paragraph and I literally have never seen you physically in my life. 2. He wants you to cook dinner after you’ve been hospitalized for two weeks after *an open abdominal surgery complicated with sepsis?!?!!?*

3. He’s not like this because he’s a doctor, he’s like this because he’s as good of a human being as he is of a doctor: absolute s**t. EDIT: I did not consider the possibility that this was a deliberate attempt to kill you, but maybe he just wanted you dead

UsuallyWrite2 −  What kind of s**tty doctor is he that he couldn’t identify acute appendicitis? That’s not rocket science.

helendestroy −  He’s always been a very good husband and we’ve had a great marriage. Until you actually needed him to be someone you could trust.

notryksjustme −  He’s effing someone in the ER and they don’t know he’s married. He waited to take you till they were off shift.

AdGroundbreaking4397 −  This is abuse. He wouldn’t allow you to seek medical treatment, for something a lay person could diagnose as appendicitis. He waited until your appendix had ruptured. Which can kill you. All you needed originally was antibiotics.

He is cruel to you in private, kind to you in public where there are witnesses. Classic abuser. Doctor can’t treat family member (for a number of reasons) but this is one of them. He didn’t provide any treatment, he didn’t examine you or anything. He told you told you to take a shower.

I get he’s a doctor but he’s not your doctor. You’re not an i**ot you know signs that your meant to get medical care. You don’t need anyone’s permission to see a doctor or get medical treatment. In future take your self to get the care you need or call for an ambulance.. Also leave him

Posterbomber −  He’s a cruel man. That’s why he’s acting like that. Do you have children?

CowAggravating7745 −  Is he a doctor at the hospital? Is there a reason he wouldn’t want to be seen with you there? Like.. someone he works with maybe?

Mean_Environment4856 −  Is it because he’s a doctor?. No its because he’s an ass. Pretty s**t doctor if he didn’t get concerned until after your appendix burst.

WantToBelieveInMagic −  His concern for you in the hospital was performative. He wanted all the staff there to see what a great guy he is. Get Dr Ramani Durvasula’s new book “It’s Not You” and see if she is describing your husband. I’m sorry, OP, but you are not with a good guy. Get out while you’re young and before you waste decades.

[Reddit User] −  Was he *trying* to kill you?

Why do you think the husband’s behavior shifted after the surgery? Is it possible that his medical training is influencing how he reacts to his wife’s pain, or is there something else going on? How should the Redditor address this sudden change in their relationship? Share your thoughts below!