My husband getting annoyed about me not wanting to eat meat

A woman (36) has been married to her husband (48) for 15 years. Over time, she has developed a preference for meat-free meals, citing health benefits, ethical concerns, and personal preference for vegetables. While she still occasionally eats meat, she prefers lighter, vegetarian options.

Her husband, who has a strong cultural connection to eating meat, has become frustrated with her choice, especially when she rejects meat dishes he cooks or orders at restaurants.

Recently, during a meal out, he reacted angrily when she refused to eat some duck he placed on her plate, causing her distress. She’s unsure how to approach the situation and get him to respect her dietary choices. Read the full story below.

‘ My husband getting annoyed about me not wanting to eat meat’

My husband (48) and I (36) have been married for 15 years. He is originally from Africa, I am English. We both love cooking and always trying to create dishes from around the world. I kind of got brought up on microwave meals and processed foods so it feels great to me to create meals for myself and our family that are healthy and full of goodness but still taste great XD

For years every dinner had to have meat, it’s the way my husband was brought up and for years I have been alright with it. But the last couple of years I’ve really wanting to have meat free meals. I think it’s for a variety of reasons.

Firstly I just love vegetables! Secondly I have seen and heard of some horror stories about how some animals are treated and I have been preferring to purchase meat from farmers or small holdings that i personally know, which does understandably come with a higher price tag. Also, I have a auto immune disease and I’ve realised that eating less meat and more veg has just made me feel so much better. And also some days, simply, I’m just really put off eating meat.

When we’re eating out I always choose the vegetarian option. I realise I could easily become vegetarian. At home if I’m not in a meat mood and my husband is cooking I will either ask if I can have a portion without the meat or if not possible I say that I’ll fix myself up something.

(But I will still have some meat, maybe once or twice a week) but recently he has just been putting dinner in front of me that has meat on it, or cooking me bacon and sausage for breakfast without even asking if I’m hungry etc

We went to a restaurant for a meal yesterday and after Christmas I have been feeling way too meated out and my auto immune has been flaring up bad due to my awful eating over Christmas . I ordered a vegetarian dish, he ordered duck. He cut of some duck and just placed it on my plate, I said ‘thank you so much, but I’m not in the mood to eat meat, I just need something light’ a put it back on his plate.

He spent the rest of the meal just ranting at me, getting really annoyed and other diners were turning their heads our way. He was saying things like I’m stupid, and crazy, and it’s just duck. How im just trying to be modern ??? How ungrateful I am. I didn’t respond because I know if I do it just fuels him more. I felt really hurt by it all. I feel like I have a right to decide what I eat? How on earth do I approach him about it all 🙁

TL;DR my husband got annoyed in a restaurant because I wouldn’t eat part of his duck, how do I get him to understand it’s my choice of what I eat ?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

slogginmagoggin −  Your post history says he’s been physically and mentally a**sive. This is just a symptom of his entitlement to you and there’s no way to put a plaster on it I’m afraid. You need to take steps to get out for your sake and your children’s.

RockThatMana −  I mean, if you have explained that it negatively impacts your health and he doesn’t care, I don’t think there are any magical words that could sway him to suddenly feel a certain way when, so far, it seems meat is the true love of his life. Also, married at 21 to a 33 y/o? When did this relationship start?

Smart_Negotiation_31 −  This isn’t about meat. Everything in your post history screams abuse. Even your best friend is an abuser and went to jail for it? Please get off Reddit and get out of this toxic situation. Your husband doesn’t want a wife, he wants a pet and bang-maid that he can control down to what you eat. I know that this is all you know, but you are almost 40 now and need to LEAVE

Paindepiceaubeurre −  Yeah with that attitude it’s no surprise a man his age went after a girl who was barely legal. It’s very alarming that he’s ok with publicly humiliating you over your right to eat what you want.. Do you guys have kids?

PlaceForMyPonies −  You stop talking and you leave. Period.

Advanced-Ad9658 −  ” cut of some duck and just placed it on my plate, I said ‘thank you so much, but I’m not in the mood to eat meat, I just need something light’ a put it back on his plate. He spent the rest of the meal just ranting at me, getting really annoyed and other diners were turning their heads our way.

He was saying things like I’m stupid, and crazy, and it’s just duck. How im just trying to be modern ??? How ungrateful I am. I didn’t respond because I know if I do it just fuels him more.”

He’s still a**sive, you’re still scared of angering him, you’re still teaching your children that this is a normal relationship and they will most probably marry someone exactly like him – or be like him to their future spouses. I get that writing posts on reddit must be cathartic but at some point you’re going to have to actually DO something, if you don’t want your kids to suffer the same abuse as you.

AyaPrimrose −  Honestly i have no idea how to approach this but i just wanted to say that your choice is very valid, dont let him take it from you. Hes acting really immature and put the duck on your plate because he wanted to get a reaction out of you.

He has no right to be mad at you for not eating meat thats so absurd. You didnt do anything wrong, hes acting like a child. Its just duck? Well and its just a dietary choice, so why are you so mad? I wonder why it makes him so angry lol. Oh no my wife doesnt eat meat the world is ending. Tf? Grow up

Avocado3527 −  Sis, it’s time to run.

RollingKatamari −  This isn’t about the meat…it’s about control. It’s about you growing & evolving and him holding you back. It’s about him panicking because he knows he’s losing control and using abuse to keep you small & quiet. Controlling what you eat is just a small part of the bigger problem and I think you know it.

Please be very very careful, women get hurt and killed every day by men like him. And I know you don’t want to believe he can do something like that, because you’re different, he’s different but you’re wrong. That way of thinking gets you in hospital or worse.

Make an exit plan, consult a lawyer, search for a place to stay either on your own or with family. Tell your loved ones what you’re going through. Don’t leave your electronics unlocked and changed your passwords. If at all possible, look at his chats & social media to see what he’s been saying and what he’s been looking at.

OkGrapefruit7174 −  Why did you get married at 21 to a 33 y/o dude? Obviously you should be allowed to eat whatever you want, sounds like the start of controlling behaviour. Ps: well done lowering your meat intake!!

It’s important to feel supported and respected in our dietary choices, but it can be tough when those we love don’t understand our decisions. Have you experienced a similar situation where your food preferences clashed with someone else’s expectations? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts below!