My husband (32M) is convinced I (26F) am pregnant. I’m not, but he won’t believe me. What do I do?

A Redditor shared her concern about her husband, who has become convinced she is pregnant despite taking a negative test and confirming she is not. His obsession with the idea, even after repeated reassurances, is causing tension in their relationship. She is now considering reaching out to both their families and a therapist for help. Read the original story below:

‘ My husband (32M) is convinced I (26F) am pregnant. I’m not, but he won’t believe me. What do I do? ‘

I’m truly at a loss here. This situation has gotten worrying, and I don’t know what to do with it. Since about a week my husband became convinced I’m pregnant. I have no idea why, because I’m not. We haven’t even started trying, though we do have plans in the future.

We were just making conversation and yeah, I did mention feeling tired. But that’s all. A few hours later he just came in so excited. I told him I’m not, but he won’t let it go. He has made remarks about how happy he is, what a wonderful mother I’ll be, what our baby will be like. Not all the time, but it has come up multiple times a day.

I told him I’m not. I even took a test – because even I started wondering – and it was undoubtedly negative. I showed him & he just got annoyed, said tests can be wrong. He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the evening. The next morning he acted as if nothing happened. When I tell him I’m not, he just kind of shuts me out?

I lost my s**t yesterday when we were in bed and he put his hand on my stomach, told him he’s acting crazy. I’m not pregnant & his behaviour is scaring me. He went to sleep in the guest room after that & left for work early in the morning. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him today.

I’m just at a loss. I don’t know where this o**ession is coming from. I even asked him if I gained weight, if that’s what’s gotten him confused. He assured me I didn’t. I’m thinking of contacting his parents. Or maybe a therapist or something. I honestly don’t understand what’s happening and I’m worried about my husband.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Quiet-Hamster6509 −  Has he tampered with your birth control. I would not have s** with him atm, wait for your next period and then demand he sees a therapist.

obvusthrowawayobv −  To me, this sounds really pretty ominous. I’ll tell you why, but I’m going to explain my own background before— I have multiple degrees with a medical and psychology background and I have written a bit about wartime psychology, prisoners of war,

and brainwashing… so yes, this may sound extreme, but there’s something about this that genuinely horrifies me. So a conditioning tactic to ‘re-educate’ prisoners of war is that you insist on an event. Naturally they’re going to be like wtf that didn’t happen… so you take something away. Insist again, take it away, insist again, take it away.. etc.

Eventually the prisoner of war is going to be missing so much s**t, they will eventually be like ‘fuckit, fine’ … and then you give them something. Then you insist something else, etc— basically what occurs in this scenario of repeatedly removing and giving quality of life things like comfort, food, stability— is that in the long term it

1) trains the person to view the person with the accusations as a key to survival. And 2) it trains the victim to believe anything the individual accuses them of. The reason this only works in wartime circumstances for prisoners is because the prisoner has no choice but to endure it— they can’t just leave.

So the reason this disturbs me is because his behavior knowingly or unknowingly follows this behavior: he says you’re pregnant, insists it, and then diminished happiness. He comes back saying you’re pregnant again, you show the test,

now he not only withdraws happiness but alienates you by moving to another room and taking away feelings of belonging in your own house. Now he takes his presence away, leaving you alone in your house as a stranger.

Yet you know, if you were to say ok I am pregnant— suddenly all of that would return. So he insists you’re pregnant, takes something away and gives you time to think, then tries again, you say no, more tsken away and mare time: “ok are you going to play along, now?”

The only difference is you are able to leave at any time… but it is actually concerning that if this is a deliberate tactic, it’s because he’s decided that you actually cannot and are not going anywhere. There’s something really wrong here, imo.

Not trying to scare you. But either this is on purpose or he has lost a grip on reality and neither are safe for you to be around right now.. **edit:**
I am no longer discussing my credentials.

You can say I work for McDonald’s, believe me, I don’t actually mind. Sorry, OP, for the long chatter on your thread. If you would like to discuss in DM, argue, or whatever, please send me one, no problem.

stormsway_ −  Honestly this is the kind of delusion that could easily lead to him becoming violent. I don’t know if he will, and I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but I think that your #1 priority needs to be getting out. This isn’t a “talk to him” situation.

This isn’t a “work it out” This is a quite literally run for your life and get someone else to help him afterwards kind of situation. I do not think it is an overreaction to move out with zero prior warning and not tell him where you’re going, then after you’re out call his parents and tell them what’s going on.

I know you’re probably thinking your husband wouldn’t do anything like that, he’s not violent, he wouldn’t hurt you. There are two possibilities here: He is either experiencing psychosis/delusions or he isn’t. If he is experiencing psychosis, then this is *not* your husband. This is some rogue part of his mind that is taking over.

His perception of reality is quite literally wrong and there is no amount of love or care for you that is enough to overcome the fact that what he sees in the world is not what is real. The second possibility is that he’s not experiencing any form of psychosis/delusions.

This is honestly the scarier possibility in my eyes, because that means he’s intentionally trying to manipulate you, probably in order to control you and prevent you from leaving, and he may possibly forcibly try to impregnate you.

WantToBelieveInMagic −  Check to make sure he hasn’t tampered with your birth control. Consider getting an IUD or implant.

ElliZSageAdvice −  I agree with @stormsway_. This not something to wait on. You need to go somewhere safe. Immediately.

Maleficent-Bottle674 −  Contact his parents because considering the whole a**rtion debacle I honestly think he’s trying to set you up for a criminal sentencing. I’ve known several women who were set up by their boyfriends under the crime of having an a**rtion when she wasn’t even pregnant.

One lady had to reveal that she had a hysterectomy so she couldn’t even get pregnant. You need to see who else he’s spreading this to. The best case scenario is that he is mentally ill and incapable of accepting reality such as when he denied the pregnancy test.

Titanea_Tau −  This sounds like a psychiatric delusion and not a simple mistake. You are in danger.

Separate_Beat2771 −  This is very strange.. remove yourself from the house and contact his parents, sounds like your husband needs mental health intervention

Spinnerofyarn −  I think you are in danger. He isn’t believing the proof that you aren’t pregnant. Once he realizes you aren’t, is he then going to think that you did something to end the pregnancy and how will he react?

This is very frightening and I think you need to leave at minimum until he gets a psychiatric evaluation and recognizes he’s wrong. He may not ever recognize or admit you aren’t/weren’t pregnant.

[Reddit User] −  …are you trying to get pregnant? My residual dating instincts have me primed to assume everyone is trying to babytrap everyone.

Do you think the husband’s fixation on the idea of pregnancy could be a sign of deeper emotional or psychological issues, or is there another explanation for his behavior? How would you address this situation without causing further strain on the relationship? Share your thoughts and advice below!