My Husband (30M) intends to ask me (29F) to open the marriage. How do I tell him I have no intention of letting him near my future baby or me for that matter?
A Promise Broken: Pregnant Wife Discovers Husband’s Plan to Open Marriage for “Work Wife”
At 24 weeks pregnant, a wife uncovers her husband’s scheme to propose an open relationship with his coworker Alicia—a betrayal that shatters their vows and forces her to protect their unborn child from a toxic future. This gut-wrenching story raises urgent questions about trust, co-parenting, and the fallout of emotional infidelity.
‘ My Husband (30M) intends to ask me (29F) to open the marriage. How do I tell him I have no intention of letting him near my future baby or me for that matter?’
Expert Opinions:
Infidelity and Emotional Betrayal:
Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex therapist and author of The New Monogamy, explains in Psychology Today that proposals to open a marriage often mask pre-existing affairs. “When one partner unilaterally pushes for non-monogamy during a vulnerable time—like pregnancy—it’s typically a sign of emotional detachment and poor conflict resolution.”
Co-Parenting After Betrayal:
Family law attorney Jennifer Brandt emphasizes in Forbes that courts prioritize a child’s best interests, not marital misconduct. “Unless abuse or neglect is proven, Victor will likely retain parental rights. OP should focus on documenting his instability, not revenge, to build a custody case.”
Impact of Parental Conflict on Children:
A 2023 Child Development study reveals that high-conflict divorces correlate with anxiety and trust issues in children. Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, a child psychologist, advises: “Shielding the child from animosity requires strict boundaries, parallel parenting, and therapy to process resentment.”
Solutions from Experts:
- Legal Strategy: Brandt urges OP to secure financial records, lock joint accounts, and avoid confrontations until custody terms are drafted.
- Therapeutic Support: Dr. Kennedy recommends individual counseling for OP to manage grief and co-parenting workshops to prepare for shared custody.
- Communication Boundaries: Dr. Nelson advises using apps like OurFamilyWizard for all co-parenting discussions to minimize direct contact with Victor.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Redditors overwhelmingly praised OP’s resolve to leave, with many urging legal caution: “Revenge feels good but custody battles require restraint.” Others warned that Victor’s parental rights complicate her goal to cut ties entirely. A minority criticized OP for “overreacting” to an unexecuted proposal, but most agreed intent mattered: “He planned betrayal at her most vulnerable.”
This story is a stark reminder that betrayal’s scars extend far beyond the couple—impacting children, family dynamics, and futures. While OP’s desire to protect her daughter is justified, the legal system’s focus on shared parenting complicates her hopes for a clean break.
Is it possible to balance justice for oneself with compassion for a child’s need for both parents? Or does Victor’s deception forfeit his right to fatherhood? Share your thoughts below.
So is the plan on? Yeah they are already cheating. I’m sorry. Sounds like he wants to use open marriage as a route to keep u around for the baby but probably divorce u when the baby comes. You did the best thing and removed yourself from the situation. Staying with your brother is smart. Get all the information and talk to an attorney and follow their advice explicitly. Stay strong mama you got this.
Talk to your attorney and have him served. Tell him all further communication is through your lawyer. I wouldn’t want to talk to him either. And it would freak me out having him raise a daughter as he clearly doesn’t plan to keep his word to her mother. Also “work wife “ is never ever a good thing in my experience- just a way for folks to justify acting inappropriately
If you don’t want the baby in his life The only thing you can do is move far enough away so he never has contact..
But otherwise he has already cheated so get a lawyer and get a fivorce
Leave the house with everything in it..LEAVE him with nothing…
If he wants the work wife then he can have her..guess he was willing to stay married but have some action on the side..until what happens six months down the road he falls in love and leaves the wife anyways
Best to leave now