My husband (29M) knocked out my brother (28M) for calling me (26F) a whore, and my parents whant me to chose, what is the right choice?
A Reddit user shared her story about a heated family conflict where her husband punched her brother after he repeatedly insulted her, including publicly calling her a “whore.” The situation escalated when her parents issued an ultimatum: divorce her husband or lose their support. Read the full story below.
‘ My husband (29M) knocked out my brother (28M) for calling me (26F) a whore, and my parents whant me to chose, what is the right choice?’
This past weekend me and my husband were over at my parents house for a bbq, the day was going great untill my brother for some reason started to have a go at me. Calling me names and belittling me. My husband pulled my brother aside and had a talk with him and the insults stopped.
An hour or so later we were standing around talking with some friends and family members and my brother came up to me and told me im a whore. His exact word were, you know you are a f**king whore right. He said it loud enough for almost everyone at the party to hear.
All i saw was my husband next to me look at me, then i felt a push to the side my husband stepping infront of me and the next thing was my brother out cold on the ground with blood on his face all i heard is my mother yelling and my husband saying you don’t talk to my wife like that i warned you already.
Before i continue, my husband didn’t hurt me, he didn’t push me hard or anything like that. Don’t know how to describe it but it was like a push that someone will give you when they are trying to pass, i went like 1 step back that is all.
I am not mad at my husband, I’m mad at my brother the whole day he was demeaning me, insulting me, belittling me don’t know where this came from as he has never talk to me like that or to anyone that i know of. The bigger problem i have it that i have to chose. Either my husband or my parents.
My parents are pissed and have given me an ultimatum. I either leave my husband and divorce him or they cut me off completely. My husband doesn’t give a crap that they are mad, the only thing he is mad about it that he only got one punch in his words.
I love my husband and don’t want to lose him but i also don’t want to lose my parents. They have supported me through alot and have always been there for me. I know they are serious as this is the first time they have ever issued me with an ultimatum.
They also threatened my husband with a a**ault charge but he doesn’t care and welcomed them to do it. I’m stuck between a dicision that will change my life forever and I’m panicking.
I have received messages for friends and other family members that have given me support and condemned my husband but they are leaning more on the support side.. Any advice will be appreciated?. Edit to clarify
I am to chosing my husband, i have never questioned that but i also don’t want to lose my family. I am very family oriented and family to me is everything. I want to find a solution where i can keep both.
Check out how the community responded:
Cultural_Shape3518 − Ask your parents why they think you should choose them when they’ve already made it clear they’ll choose your brother no matter what he does to you.
Square-Minimum-6042 − Choose your husband, he’s the one who stuck up for you. Your useless parents let your brother speak to you that way.
useyourcharm − Info: why do your parents think it’s okay that your brother called you names? What is their excuse?
kgxv − Obviously you choose your husband. What logic or reason possibly justifies any other option?
spiteful_rr_dm_TA − Hmmmm do you choose your husband who loves you and has your back to the point where he will fight any man who insults you, or your parents who allowed your brother to continuously harass and insult you, didn’t try to defend you, and are mad your husband stood up for you?. Gee, I don’t know!
Come on OP, be real for a minute. Your husband loves you and protects you, your parents love your brother who insults you. They are forcing you to choose instead of forcing him to apologize. I say f**k your parents, call their bluff and go no contact.
WildlyUninteresting − The brothers behaviour was unacceptable. Why was he so angry and name calling? What is his motivation? You are married, that slur doesn’t make a lot of sense.
BusyLight32 − What kind of family does this stuff? It sounds very disfunctional. What were the circumstances whereby your brother goes off on you like that? Now your parents issue an ultimatum? I appreciate that your husband stuck up for you, but that was a terrible political move.
MissMurderpants − Your parents **ARE** excusing your brother’s behavior by not condemning it. I’d tell my folks you are done with brother and them until you get a *SINCERE* apology that his states specifically he is sorry for his actions and words and possibly why he did it and ge don’t do it again.
Your parents need to apologize for deciding brother’s behavior. This is not just some sibling thing. Y’all are adults and he needs to understand how wrong he is and in turn your parents are also wrong by not supporting you.. Hubs deserves kudos.
lostinthesnakepit − Keep the husband, go NC with the parents and brother. Its an empty threat. They will cave and contact you within 2 weeks. You brother learned a valuable lesson about the kind of man your husband is. he should be happy you married a man who will defend your honor. But he had to FAFO to learn it
SpareDoor − Is this a real question. Your husband just decided to defend you and take on your family issues/fights. Not many who would do that. Gotta ask if you even care about him if you’re not gonna back him.
Family will come around eventually. Just gotta give it time and prolly a little distance first. FYI for some, it could take a long time for grudges to heal, but again be patient until cooler heads prevail. Talk with your husband and make decisions together. I’m sure it will resolve eventually.
Is it fair for the woman to be forced into choosing between her husband and her family after such a volatile event? How would you navigate loyalty, respect, and family ties in a situation like this? Share your thoughts below!
You choose your husband…. If ANYBODY talked to my partner like that, I wouldn’t stop the ass beating just because they were on the ground, that’s what feet are for. I’d have put him in the hospital.
This isn’t about choosing it’s about you growing up and letting your parents control you with their money, which obviously your partially blind, letting money be more important then your independence and dictate your life.
Actually I think your husband should walk away from all of you as if you really need help in making this decision you are as pathetic as your family.
your marriage vows says, ‘forsaking all others, and keep only unto him/her’. I applaud your husband for protecting his wife/home, just as the bible said is his job as a husband…..if her parents can’t see this, then they should evaluate their marriage.
If you are deliberating about this, do your husband a favor and get divorced. He deserves a mature intelligent woman, not a weak, spineless piece of shit. You can support yourself by being what your brother called you. That should make mom & dad happy.
I had the same situation except without the violence. I have been NC with my brother for 5 years. My parents stayed out if it and I am super close with them. Your parents shouldn’t make you choose. They are a$$holes for making you choose.
This isn’t about choosing it’s about you growing up and letting your parents control you with their money, which obviously your partially blind, letting money be more important then your independence and dictate your life.
In texas there is an old saying. Blood in thicker the water but jizz is thicker than blood. When married your spouse comes first!
He could have something medical going on. I had a close friend that treated me that way. It was early-stage dementia.
I’d tell the family that if they have your husband charged not only will they ensure you (and any future grandchildren) will have nothing to do with them ever, but they will be called to give evidence why they support your brother’s vile and defamatory attacks on you. Their reputations will be destroyed, and all their neighbours and your family will know.
This is so hard to choose dude jk choose your husband he issued a warning than took action who tf calls someone a whore how degrading props to your hubby for having your back ngl your parents are stupid and childish to defend their son who is making you the butt of his jokes is beyond me so ask them why do they support his childish behavior cause this is a clear case of fuck around and find out hehehe ngl damn your husband’s a boss k.o you play dumb games win dumber prizes that will definitely teach him to stfu I know someone who never kept his mouth shut opened it to the wrong 1 got popped ended up in the hospital with medical bills to boot never opened his mouth again