My girlfriend of 6months (25F)just told me she has 3 kids im a (21M) How do i process this?

A 21-year-old man recently learned that his girlfriend of six months, whom he deeply loves, has three children—something she only revealed after their relationship grew serious.

While their connection has been amazing, he’s now grappling with the weight of her disclosure and whether he’s ready for such a significant responsibility. Her initial hesitation to share this part of her life has also left him feeling uncertain about their future.

‘ My girlfriend of 6months (25F)just told me she has 3 kids im a (21M) How do i process this?’

I’m a 21M, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend (25F) for six months. Everything has been amazing—she’s everything I’d want in a life partner. But a few days ago, she dropped a bombshell: she has three kids.

She admitted that she didn’t tell me earlier because she was scared of how I’d react. At first, she only mentioned one child, and I thought I could handle it. But then she revealed there were two more, and honestly, I kind of shut down. She also explained that she has a solid support system with the kids’ families, which reassures me a little.

I feel torn. On one hand, I love her deeply, and these past six months have been incredible. On the other hand, I’m not sure if I’m ready to take on the responsibilities of being with someone who has three kids. It feels overwhelming, and I’m also grappling with the fact that she wasn’t upfront about this from the beginning.

I know our connection is real, but this revelation has me questioning where to go from here. How do I process this? Should I move forward with her, or is this a sign that we’re not in the same place in life? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

stevencri −  She was scared to reveal them because she didn’t know how to / didn’t know how I was going to react My man, this is a blatant lie. She didn’t tell you because she **DID** know how you’d react.

She knew that most 21M would not want to date a woman with 3 kids, and that you would end things with her. So she purposely waited to tell you until you were emotionally invested in her and feel stuck with her.

And judging by your post, her plan is working perfectly on you. You’re considering staying with a massive l**r that has 3 kids, who you’ve only dated for 6 months. 6 months is not a long time at all, you’re young af and have plenty of time to meet someone new that’s respects you.

And let’s not forget the fact that she seems to feel ashamed to have 3 kids and hides it, rather than being a proud mother. That in itself would make me run for the hills.

atticusfinch1973 −  Translation: “I knew you’d never date me if I was up front about having three kids so I reeled you in like a sucker and now you’ll feel terrible if you break up with me.” At best she’s fully m**ipulative, at worst she’s a terrible person and a l**r.

UsuallyWrite2 −  The best 6 mos of your life were based on a lie. A really big one. I sure hope you’re using condoms because she doesn’t seem to have either A) a good handle on how to use birth control or B) good judgment and had 3 kids by 24 on purpose. I would run, not walk, in the other direction.

There’s nothing wrong with dating someone with kids from a prior relationship. I’m a stepparent. No bio kids. Works for me. But you’re only 21! You’re way too young to be taking on that kind of responsibility.

BlazingSunflowerland −  She has all of the qualities you would want in a wife. Does that include hiding major things, like three children, for six months? What else is she hiding. You can’t trust her.

General_Insect_8256 −  There are plenty of 25F with 0 kids . Run away

GoldenDragon001 −  Walk away. She lied to you from the beginning. If she lied like this, what other lies may be there as well? Trust is hard to build. You need honesty in a relationship.And then you still have to consider that if you can handle being a stepdad. Also do you want kids if your own as well. . That’s a lot to handle. 

Harrisonking −  Probably need some more context here. Like how after 6 months of seeing her has she managed to keep them hidden? She must of lied about a lot of things before the reveal which is worrying that she is capable of lying multiple times about various things.

I think that’s a pretty huge red flag. For me the idea that she lied because she was worried about what you would think, unfortunately shows an element of her character. There’s a lot of things that she would then potentially lie about herself and actions in the future. Also, how does she have 3 kids at 25 already. Is that all with the same man?

Low-Investigator3973 −  You have only been with her for 6 months, it’s not very long. You’re still in the honeymoon phase and she lied to you the entire time. Do you really want to be with someone who can lie to you so easily, in the time of a relationship when you’re meant to be getting to know one another. This is a flag of a certain colour… 

InstantElla −  You’re too young for this. If she’s not mature enough to be upfront and honest about important facets of her life, she isn’t mature enough to be in a real relationship. I’d run. Fast.

devilsglare −  You are 21 and you getting baby trapped and the baby ain’t even yours lmao. Just get out man.