My Girlfriend Is Embarrassed After I Helped Her with Hygiene Issues While She Was Sick

A Redditor (27M) shares his experience helping his girlfriend (25F) after she had a rough bout with the flu, which resulted in a very embarrassing situation. He cleaned her up and even took care of her bedding, but now she’s upset and has locked herself in her room, unable to face him.

She feels embarrassed about him seeing her in such a vulnerable state. The Redditor wonders if he overstepped a boundary or if he was simply doing what anyone would do for someone they care about. Read the full story below:

‘ My Girlfriend Is Embarrassed After I Helped Her with Hygiene Issues While She Was Sick’

We’ve been together 7 months, and are planning to move in together in January. Since last week she has had a pretty n**ty bout with the flu, and yesterday it finally caused her to regurgitate and defecate on herself and her bed. I heard it occur, and heard her sobs afterwards, so I went in and carried her to her bath.

I ran a warm bath and cleaned her up, and left her wrapped in a blanket on the couch. I took her bedding to the laundromat and got all of that cleaned, and scrubbed her comforter and left it outside to dry. I thought nothing of it at all, you help those you care about when they need it.

I work nights, so I left her that evening. When I woke up today, I came over and found her locked in her room, upset that I saw her like that and did what I did. She says I saw her in a way she never wanted me to see, and she can’t handle that.

Did I overstep a boundary? I am sitting on the couch right now and can’t really get her to talk to me, she just says she can’t face me. I’ve always been of the mind that when people are sick you help them, and cleaning someone who had an accident isn’t really a big thing to me. Was I supposed to just leave her in her fluids?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Captain_Corelli −  Did I overstep a boundary?. No you did a kind mature thing. Look she’s feeling s**tty and on top of that probably embarrassed. She’ll likely get over it when she feels better. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Talk about it if she wants but I’d be very grateful if my partner did that for me.

[Reddit User] −  You are an amazing SO. She’s just embarrassed. Let her cooldown a bit (because I get stubborn like this when I’m embarrassed.) When she’s ready to talk, just say, “I don’t mind helping when you are sick. I care about you; and if our relationship has a future, this may not be the first time this happens. And I would hope you’d do the same for me.”

Cookiedamonster −  I can see why she’s embarrassed, but you were a champ and did just what a loving boyfriend should do. My bet is that she’ll come around!

Spoonbills −  Ask her, “[GF], if I were in your place, would you have helped me?” When she inevitably says yes, say, “Good, now you owe me one next time I get food poisoning and think I’m going to die.” Also, you’re both lucky you care about each other so much. Tell her that too.

[Reddit User] −  She’s just embarrassed. I had to do the same thing as you for a girlfriend once. Pukin’ and shittin’; it wasn’t pretty. She was kind of weird after that for about a week, but she eventually got over it. To be honest, I think it brought us closer. She knew I wasn’t disgusted by her, even when things are comin’ out of both ends. Just give your girlfriend some time.

[Reddit User] −  Your gf has seen a doctor right? The flu shouldn’t really cause that to happen unless you mean like a stomach flu, but they usually only last a couple days.

sleepfight −  You did a great thing. She’s probably just deathly embarrassed right now. Give her some time.

[Reddit User] −  I’d go for the mature response with a hint of humor just so she know’s you are taking this seriously, but also that its not that big a deal. *Baby… there are going to be times where both of us are literally and figuratively covered in s**t.

It happens, that’s life. But you need to know that I’m here. I’m all in. No matter what happens, I will be by your side. So please don’t feel embarrassed by what happened. Would pooping my pants help? Cus I’ll s**t myself for the greater good.*

projectedwinner −  I would be mortified if the same had happened to me and my absolute *worst* moment had been witnessed and handled by my SO (especially one I had known a relatively brief time),

but I wanted to add my voice to the chorus of people who have said you did *everything* right, that you did a compassionate thing and you did it thoroughly and well. Your girlfriend is embarrassed, but I bet she’s also grateful. She’s a lucky woman.

Dheovan −  You did not overstep a boundary. Give it some time. She’s probably just embarrassed. Now, if after some time has passed she still won’t talk to you or is acting super guarded or weird, then it might be time for a serious talk. You sound like a solid guy. I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have a guy who would do all of that for her without a single complaint.

It’s a tricky situation, where one person’s attempt to help is seen as a violation of privacy for the other. Do you think the girlfriend will eventually realize he was just trying to take care of her? Or will her embarrassment continue to affect their relationship? Share your thoughts below.