My girlfriend is acting obsessed with this random family she just met

A Redditor is baffled by their girlfriend Maggie’s sudden and intense bond with a coworker’s family after starting a new job. From babysitting the kids for free to inviting them to family Thanksgiving and calling them her “chosen family,” Maggie’s behavior feels out of character and unnerving. Unsure how to approach the situation, the user seeks advice. Read the original story below for the full context.

‘ My girlfriend is acting obsessed with this random family she just met’

I figured I should ask for advice because this situation is really weird and I have no idea how to handle it. My girlfriend “Maggie” and I have been together for just 3 months so our relationship is still very new. Things have been going well aside from this problem:

A few weeks ago, Maggie started a new job and quickly became friends with her new co-worker “Joe.” For the record, I have no problem with Maggie having male friends. I have female friends and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But Maggie and Joe seemed unusually close after a very short amount of time.

Like Maggie was telling me that she was scoping out her co-workers to see who was all business and who she could joke around with and maybe become better friends with. She said it would be pretty easy though, because Joe was telling her who was cool. But Maggie barely knows Joe, so why does she trust him so much?

Maggie and Joe were hanging out so much outside of work that I actually did feel a little weird about it. I then found out that aside from work they usually hung out with Joe’s wife and kids, which made cheating unlikely but was still really weird. Most people don’t have near strangers hanging out with their little kids that much.

Maggie has been putting this family above other friends, like when she waited on rsvp’ing to a friend’s party until she could nail down other plans with Joe and his family. The plans with Joe’s family were very vague and hadn’t been decided yet, but Maggie was willing to miss her friend’s party if it was the only time Joe’s family was available.

I met them for the first time, and it was very bizarre. Maggie isn’t a big fan of kids but she was all over Joe’s kids. She got down on the floor and crawled around with the baby. The older kid was very shy and didn’t seem that comfortable with me but she got very excited when she saw Maggie and climbed into Maggie’s lap, so Maggie has obviously spent a lot of time with the family in the past few weeks.

The older kid calls Maggie “Auntie.” Maggie once told me she didn’t like babysitting and always tries to get out of it, but apparently she has babysat for them, and she refuses to take money for babysitting. This is just so out of character for her.

They also made some weird jokes about Maggie coming to live in their basement??? which was really weird in combination with everything else that is going on. (Hopefully that was just a joke).

For Thanksgiving, we decided to just celebrate with our own families because we haven’t been together that long. Joe and his family weren’t able to travel far to meet their own family, so Maggie invited them to her parents house.

That’s very kind, but it was a couple hours away and they all slept over, so it wasn’t a casual trip. Some pictures were taken, including a posed one of Maggie and Joe’s family, with the older kid hugging Maggie’s shoulders.

Maggie made a comment about how she was glad her “chosen family” could come to Thanksgiving. It is beyond bizarre, she barely knows these people! She has been in the new job just under two months and somehow become absorbed into this random family.

And this is so out of character. She told me once that she hates it when people she doesn’t know well insist on hugging her or how cheaply some people say “I love you” but she is taking this up to 11.

She is fretting right now because the oldest kid’s birthday is coming, and Maggie apparently needs to get that kid a birthday and a Christmas gift and a Christmas gift for the baby, too. The only gift I’d ever gotten a co-worker s kid is when they had a baby shower at work.

I don’t even know how to bring this up. I know her friendships aren’t really my business, but this is so strange it’s making me uncomfortable so I feel like I have to say something, but I don’t even know what to say. Maggie cheating on me with Joe would actually make more sense than this. Any advice? This isn’t normal, right?

Check out how the community responded:

runningfurther −  Honestly, this is probably her character and not “out of character” like you say. You even said that you guys have been dating for three months. Three months is the first milestone to make a decision about moving the relationship forward or not. So, you have a responsibility here to objectively assess your relationship.

One thought that crossed my mind would be Joe’s family would love for her to live in their basement as a childcare provider – so they may be taking advantage of her for their benefit. Your gf may be trying to show off in front of you to show that she is lovable/respected by people.

Many possibilities. I would advise you to cool down the relationship. Give her space to make decisions about her life and relationship. If she actively chooses to spend more and more time with Joe’s family… you have your answer. Three months is time to decide the future of a relationship like I said previously. Good luck! Remind yourself what YOU deserve in a girlfriend (better than this!)

[Reddit User] −  I’ve got 2 theories on this:

1.) Maggie has a bad home life and is inserting herself into this family because it’s the life she wishes she had.

2.) Maggie is into Joe. I knew a girl who befriended a married couple just so that when things went bad she could swoop in and take the husband. No one saw it coming, but it happened. It was like her master plan after 2 years of waiting.

EDIT: if you haven’t read OP’s update yet it turns out that Maggie has actually known the couple forever. OP says Maggie probably told him this at some point, but he must have forgotten or just wasn’t listening. Glad it turned out to a silly mistake!

aldrclm −  I love reading all these comments now that OP has figured out the truth…

[Reddit User] −  Do I need to be the one who says it? She’s f**king Joe

coldbloodednuts −  You barely know her. Her behavior sounds insane and troubling. This is a big red flag. You are wasting your time. You don’t know her nearly as well as you think you do. Three months and you’re already on the Internet and unhappy. Don’t waste your next three months.

papercardinal −  Oof I can see some of these comments haven’t aged well in the last 2 days

CalOrTn1984 −  I think Joe and wife are having a little fun with Maggie. Sorry bro, I know how this stuff works. Good luck

[Reddit User] −  Yeah, I would not like that either. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it is odd and too sudden and seems inappropriate and a mark of some type of instability.

EDIT: I just read that she’s aound 30, which makes this situation weirder. Reading this, I expected her to be under 21. Also, don’t assume that just because she is around the wife that this situation can’t lead to infidelity.

First, she is around Joe alone and proximity can cause feelings to develop and they have opportunities. Also, the wife might be okay with it and even participating (never watched a documentary about alternative relationship?).

For being in a new relationship, your GF is certainly focusing a lot of emotional and other energy on another relationship. I’d leave. But if you want to see this through then just watch her. My guess is that they will get tired of her eventually.

casseroled −  This is weird to me. But many assume that it’s bc she’s attracted to Joe but I don’t think that’s the only possible option. Do you know what her childhood was like? Maybe she didn’t get much attention as a kid?

Bedtimeshine −  This is just a manifestion of her high level of attraction and interest in that guy. And her earlier comments to you were just a manifestation of low attraction and interest in you.

The closer she gets to the wife and kids the more this is going to a complete s**t show as the months go on and their budding affair grows until they are caught. Please update us at the time. You say she barely knows them but I think it’s you who barely knows her. If joe was 300 pounds with the exact same personality and family…. NONE of this would be happening

Do you think Maggie’s behavior is a sign of something deeper, or could this simply be her way of forming a meaningful connection with new friends? How would you navigate discussing a situation like this with your partner? Share your thoughts below!