My girlfriend has been sleeping with my roommate.
A Reddit user discovered that their girlfriend of over a year has been having an affair with their roommate, who was also their best friend. The betrayal has left the user grappling with heartbreak, insecurity, and a sense of isolation, as they lack close friends or family to turn to for support.
While struggling to process the emotional weight of the situation, they’re also uncertain how to navigate their living arrangement, as moving out is not immediately feasible and staying feels unbearable.
‘ My girlfriend has been sleeping with my roommate.’
Apparently, this has been going on for a while. I’ve been dating her for over a year and I’ll confess I’m not very good in bed but I try. I love her and I thought our relationship was great. Then last night, I saw her f**king my roommate- my best friend who I thought I could count on. I’m socially awkward so I don’t have that many other friends but I thought I didn’t need anymore so long as I had him.
I saw them openly f**king each other in the living room. I couldn’t help but stare in disbelief. Then I heard my roommate tell my girlfriend to keep it down so as not to wake me up. She responded by saying that I never heard them before so this has clearly been going on a while. Now, as I said before, I’m not very good in the bedroom mainly cause of my small size.
I’ve always been insecure about this. Seeing my girlfriend cheat on me has amplified this considerably. I don’t know what to do. It won’t be easy to find a new place to stay and get out of my lease. My family’s abusive so they’re not an option. My few other friends are closer to my roommate than me and I wouldn’t call them confidants of mine.
And I’ve emotionally invested a lot into my girlfriend. She was my first one. I can’t pretend I didn’t see what I saw. But I don’t know how I can get out of my apartment. And if I do, I’m going to be all alone. I’m already dealing with pain from being betrayed by the two people I thought l could trust and from my personal insecurities. I’m terrified at the prospect of being completely alone as well.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Justfantastic93 − My god people are so s**tty. Sorry man make sure you kick her to the curb and find a new roommate next semester. If you don’t, experiencing anymore episodes where you end up watching your roommate and gf have s** can cause emotional scarring+trust issues that could carry over to your next relationship
notabigdealnow − First off, size is not an indication of how good someone is in bed. Size doesn’t make up for enthusiasm or attentiveness. Second, check out the rental market around you and negotiate. Lots of places are losing tenants. Third, you need to d**p both of them. Being alone is better than what they did to you.Fourth, find something to help with your self esteem.
Everything you say about yourself is you putting yourself down. You deserve better than what these people have done to you. Find a therapist or a support group. Get a hobby where you have to interact with people. Volunteer or something. It will help you build up your self worth and get you around people who don’t treat you like this.
xajhx − I hate to tell you this, but you’re already alone. Just because someone is in your life doesn’t mean they are there for you and neither one of these people give a crap about you apparently. I wouldn’t confront them. I’d just secretly find another apartment and then move out. I know change is scary, but anything would be better than the situation you are currently in.
When you can afford it, seek therapy as well to help with your insecurity issues.
1Fully1 − Leave. Go to your landlord and explain the situation. Why would you stay in this situation.
silverIpolice − Troll
FlyLikeMe − If you could make your roommate leave the apartment that would be better. Good luck, and get the hell out of that situation, no matter what.
bombayblue − I had this happen in college. I confronted them immediately and it blew up and ended with them blaming me. It was horrible and it took me a while to get over. My roommate went on to date the girl for years. Just as he was about to propose to her he caught her cheating red handed, just as I warned him. He never recovered from it.
I’m telling you this because…. A) No matter how bad you feel right now I promise it will get better with time B) You need to stand up for yourself and reclaim your self confidence. Call your roommate out ASAP. Gather your thoughts and sit him down. Tell him how disappointed you are with him and explain what a betrayal this is.
Then start making plans to find a new place to live. I know that it’s going to be awkward for a while. That doesn’t matter. It’s going to be much painless than having this eat you up from the inside. Call your girlfriend and d**p her. This will probably be the shorter conversation. Drop her and don’t listen to her excuses. Never speak to her again. Your roommate can return her things to her.
Your roommate and your ex might start dating. This part will suck, but I promise it will be much easier if you get everything off your chest. Treat it as motivation to find a better living situation.. God speed.
VortexAriel2020 − This is a terrible humiliation fetish LARP, and you should he ashamed that you can’t do better.
CosmicGanjaSmoke − You should sit down with your roommate and make up a story how you have Herpes and don’t know how to tell your girlfriend. It would be awesome to see his reaction.
Betrayal from those closest to you can be deeply isolating. If you were in this situation, how would you confront your emotions, rebuild trust in yourself, and take the next steps to regain control of your life? Share your thoughts and support below.