Found out my friends introduced me to my girlfriend as joke, they’ve all slept with her before

After four years of being in a loving relationship, a man recently learned a shocking truth about how he met his girlfriend. His close friends, whom he’s known since childhood, revealed that they had all previously slept with his girlfriend and introduced her to him as part of a cruel joke.

Despite their past, he still loves her and is committed to proposing, but he’s now questioning his friendships and grappling with painful feelings about the situation. What should he do to handle the betrayal and move forward with his relationship?

‘Found out my friends introduced me to my girlfriend as joke, they’ve all slept with her before. I’m incredibly shocked and don’t know what to do’

I asked an admin if I can post this one up again (thank you, admin!!!) as many didn’t get around to reading it, my messages kept asking about the situation – so here you go! This is a tough one, and it’s quite long. But I want to let all my feelings out, and I’m quite comfortable in this sub. This post may anger some, some people may think I’m right/wrong – but that’s okay! I’ll really appreciate your honesty.

I’ve (22) been with my girlfriend (22) for 4 years now, and it’s been the greatest 4 years of my life. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. She’s hilarious, insanely creative (she’s an artist), goofy and just the happiest girl you’ll ever meet. She’s always smiling and very out going, she’s so energized & I’ll admit it’s sometimes hard to catch up with all her adventures.

But wow, it’s been so amazing being with her. My friends introduced me to her the summer we all graduated high school, and we immediately bonded. We’re both into comics, anime, marvel/DC, dungeons and dragons – we had so much in common, we just because super close very quickly.

The fact we had so much in common made it easy for us to spend time together, going to conventions, anime events, game tournaments, superhero films – this all of course led to us officially becoming a couple, and the rest is history. My parents also are in love with her, which is honestly the cherry on top. It’s nice to see my parents be so welcoming towards my girlfriend, although they’ve gotten a little protective towards her like parents lol.

I plan to propose to my girlfriend later this year, as we always joke about getting married, having a weird geeky wedding & starting a family – and I really want that so much, so proposing to her is my main goal of 2022. Fingers crossed she says yes! I really hope so.

Now this is where my friends come in. I have 3 close friends of mine, friends I grew up with since elementary. We all split up a few months after high school, they left to another city for college so right now we all either just talk through zoom chat or I go visit them once in a while. I decided to stay in the city I’m in, be close to family and my girlfriend.

Well I told my friends that I plan to propose to my girlfriend, that I’m believe I’m 100% ready to start a family with her & how excited I am to see how it goes. They kept asking if was serious, even calling me a dumbass. They really were going at it with me, quite roughly. I just figured they hated the idea of marriage, so I ignored their comments. That’s when they told me the truth, and holy shit the proof they had made it even worse.

They all said they met my girlfriend 8 years ago at midnight bowling, they met her through a friend of theirs that invited her that night. I don’t know this other friend at all, so I can’t say who it is. That’s how they all met, they thought she was hot and cool so they stayed in contact with her. After that my friends still continued hanging out with my girlfriend, smoking weed, playing video games, anime – and of course, sex. They told me they’ll “pass her around the group” for fun, and that’s practically why they were friends with her. They kept using the word slut, which crawled into my skin in such a negative way. So pretty much they just kept my girlfriend around for sex, all 3 of my close friends have slept her plenty of times.

This lasted a good portion of high school, but of course I didn’t know my girlfriend at this time cause she attended another high school. They decided they’ll introduce her to me because they wanted to see if I can also “get lucky”, that it was all a joke to see if I can also end up having sex with her. I didn’t believe any of it, but my heart completely shattered when they showed proof from instgram messages. It was nothing inappropriate like pics or anything, they just showed me that they all indeed keep in contact with her in the past.

And you know what they did? They made me the “dumb guy” and made all this a joke. They said I’m a dumbass for dating her, that I should’ve known better. They didn’t expect me to date her at all, that my girlfriend was going to act “slutty” towards but they were surprised she didn’t. How the hell am I suppose to have known better? Friends introducing friends to a boy/girl is a normal thing, that’s how i interpreted all of this.

Also I had no idea about their history with my girlfriend, so them saying “I should’ve known better” is ridiculous. I didn’t see my girlfriend as sex object like them, I saw her a friend that I ended up falling in love with. She treated me very kindly, comforted me whenever I was sad, told me how much she loved me – we fell for each other, It wasn’t just sex. The only reason my friends told me this was because they think me getting married to her is “too far”, so they expected me knowing the truth would lead to me dumping her.

“She’s too much of a slut man, just let her go” one of my friends said. I just got off the chat, and they’ve been sending me non-stop texts ever since. I haven’t replied, I don’t feel like talking to my friends at the moment. I did peak at a few messages out of curiosity, and instead of apologies – I just got a lot of “dude, get checked bro! You might have caught something”. It wasn’t even serious, it was in a jokey manner which is annoying.

I approached my girlfriend about this, as polite as humanly possible & I instantly regretted it. She broke down completely, which I’ll admit kinda teared me up. I’ve never seen her panic so much, she was freaking out as if someone died. She kept apologizing, telling me she’s never slept with anyone else while with me & saying she didn’t know about the joke my friends were doing. She told me my friends simply invited her to hang out, and during the hang out they introduced her to me. That’s how it all went, she says she wasn’t aware of a “plan” or anything. “You probably think I’m a slut, right?”

Is what she kept saying, which just hurt me to hear. She told me she loved me, that to please just ignore my “friends” to not break up with her. I just told her I loved her as well, and that what I know doesn’t change my feelings towards her. She still thinks I’m going to break up with her, which I won’t ever do. I just kept her in my arms, that’s all I could do. I didn’t want her panicking, so I just comforted her. I’ve been with this incredible girl for 4 years, created beautiful memories with her & I’m not going to let what my friends have said to me ruin what I have with her.

The reason why my girlfriend didn’t tell earlier, was because she cherished our relationship the moment we met. She didn’t want to hurt me, and I understand completely. She says i treated her kindly, like a human being & she appreciated that. We connected because of our similarities, and she felt more comfortable with me compared to my friends. She was afraid if i knew the truth, I wouldn’t have considered being with her in the first place. My girlfriend thought I was going to think of her as a slut, which I absolutely would never have done. It was obvious she felt guilty, but I told her she didn’t do anything wrong – that her past was her business, and that I still love her very much.

I’m not mad at my girlfriend, why should I be mad? She didn’t do anything wrong, her past is her past & it’s not of my business. Who she sleeps with is none of my concern, my feelings towards her haven’t changed – I love her with all my heart, i always will. I’m mad at my so-called friends, because one being they’re taking all of this as a joke, speaking of my girlfriend awfully – and the other being that this all started as a little joke between them. They didn’t have good intentions when they introduced me to girlfriend, they simply “passed her to me” thinking I was going to treat her like a toy or a piece of meat.

I’m just shocked, that’s what I am. This whole thing has been mentally stressing me out, and I wish I didn’t know about it. I love my girlfriend, but I’ll admit the thought of her with my friends hurts me. I’ve cut all contact with my “friends” these past couple of days, I’ve been ignoring their calls and texts – and there’s a ton of them. I just don’t know what to do, I really don’t.

Also the thought of my girlfriend immediately having sex with my friends kinda bugs me, because me and her took it slow. Maybe she did care about me compared to my friends, and didn’t want to hop straight into sex. I also think this because even my friends said she didn’t act “slutty” towards me, that she actually cared about me. You see, these are the stupid thoughts I’m getting in my head & I hate it.

I’m personally still going to propose to my girlfriend, I’m not leaving her. I plan to cut contact with my friends and simply focus on my future. If any of you have any advice to share, I’ll greatly appreciate it. I definitely need to relax my mind, that’s for sure.

UPDATE & INFO #1:

Hey everyone! Hope you’re all doing really great. I’ll be posting more updates on here, so I hope you all stick around. I wanted to say wow! It’s been absolutely interesting to see how different all your opinions are on this situation. I want to thank all of you! Many of your comments really helped me greatly, and I appreciate so, so, so, SO much. You’re all insanely amazing people. If I could invite you all to the wedding, I absolutely would! It’ll be amazing to have you all there.

My girlfriend and I are doing well, she’s still quite upset about what friends did – but that’s perfectly understandable. I’ve been comforting her, letting her know I’m not going anywhere & that I won’t be breaking up her at all. I love her with all my heart, I’ve been letting her know that constantly during all this. I want her to feel love and appreciated, because her past being brought up suddenly definitely gave her a shock. I want her to feel loved, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

My friends are still trying to contact me, but they’ve also tried contacting my girlfriend. She has no plans to speak to them, even though she’s actually cut contact with them when they left to college. I hadn’t opened my messages, she hasn’t opened her’s.

There’s something I do want to quickly talk about though. I saw a few comments that said my girlfriend may have slept with my “friends” while being with me. I want to start by saying, my girlfriend actually removed all of them from her social media when they left to college. Her reason for removing them, was because they she didn’t see them as friend anymore. I didn’t push her for more explanations, I just left it at that.

Everytime I went to visit my “friends” in the other city, she’ll never go with me – she never wanted to, she simply didn’t want to hang out with them. She’ll always stay with her mother for the weekend when I’ll leave to go visit. Again, I never pushed for explanations. She simply told me she didn’t want to hang out with them, that they all “drifted apart” since high school. I understood that, as we all tend to drift apart from friends we had in high school.

Of course, now we all know the truth why she didn’t want to be near them.

Also for the people that are telling me why she didn’t tell me the truth, you really think it could be that easy for her? I can completely understand why she didn’t tell me, I 100% understand. She didn’t tell me because she was worried I’ll immediately judge her, that’ll I’ll immediately see her as a slut. She wanted me to get to know the real her, and I absolutely understand that. She didn’t want to just have sex with me, she wanted something real. That’s why she didn’t tell.

Lastly, I see comments asking why I was even friends with those guys – it’s actually an interesting little story. My parents are friends with all their parents, they all went to school together as well when they were younger. In fact, the same high school we went to, all our parents went to the same school. The only reason I became friends with those guys was because all our parents still kept in contact, so they brought us together. That’s how we met. We met very little at BBQ’s and parties, and stayed closed “friends” for all these years.

UPDATE #2:

Hey there! Hope you’re all doing great. Tomorrow my girlfriend and i will be speaking to my parents, there’s some things we need to let them know. As I said on my previous update, my parents are friends with my ex-friend’s parents – so we plan to tell my parents the situation before my “friends” try to twist the story in any way. I have 100% cut contact with my “friends”, I don’t need them in my life.

Eventually my parents will ask why I haven’t met with them, so it’s best to be straight forward. My girlfriend is absolutely comfortable with speaking to my parents, especially since they treat her life family. Hopefully everything goes well!

UPDATE #3:

(Friday August, 12) Sarah and I decided to speak to my parents about everything that has happened. I saw a few comments saying it isn’t a good idea to tell my parents, but we believed it was the right thing to do. We’re both worried my ex-friends would try to change up the story, so we decided to approach my parents about this. Like I said on my post, my parents treat my GF like family, especially my dad who’s very protective.

Wow! It went pretty well, telling them went much better than we expected. We both were super nervous to even bring it up, but my parents were very supportive & listened to what we had to say. Sarah didn’t go into so much personal detail, she said that she has history with my ex-friends that she wasn’t proud of. My parents aren’t dumb, they definitely understood what she meant but didn’t pressure her to say anything she didn’t want to.

We told them we were worried about my ex-friends saying anything first, possibly changing up the story to make Sarah look bad. My parents really appreciated that we spoke to them about this, they knew something like this would be tough to talk about. My dad of course was in protective mode asking Sarah if she wasn’t hurt physically, but she insisted to him that she was okay.

My dad works with one of the dads of my ex-friends, so I told him not to bring anything up right now. I did tell him to be on the look out if any of my ex-friends dad’s end up mentioning anything, that’ll show us my “friends” actually did bring up it already. My dad said he’ll definitely be looking out if he hears anything, he’s being very supportive about all of this. Eventually we’ll want my “friends” parents to know about the situation if things get messy, but we’re a little worried on how they’ll react.

Overall, all of this went very great! And it made me, especially Sarah, very comfortable and more relaxed.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Unl0vableDarkness – Your so-called friends are assholes. Like honestly get rid of them. If they can treat a human like that they need to be told to go away and then when they get there go further away. Also their ‘prank’ really backfired on them. She obviously saw and got to know you and realised she could see a decent life with you and decided to change how she acted in her past.

Marry her for god sake man and tell those idiots that call themselves friends to go screw themselves. I can’t believe they’ve waited until you’re ready to settle down and get married to spring this upon you. Can’t they see you happy. Not only have they treated your girlfriend (soon to be fiance I hope) badly they’ve waited 4 years to tell you that they did this ‘as a bet’

Also they used and abused a 14 year old girl. They objectified her and treated her like a piece of meat. Like a joint to be passed around and used between friends. Seriously get new friends! And hold that woman of yours so tight and don’t let her go. Let her know she has nothing to be ashamed of and you love her now and everyday.

ArDeSiEv – Your post made me cry. As a woman who grew up in an emotionally and psychologically abusive household, my emotions were broken, I had no self-esteem, I hated myself, I felt like I had absolutely no value in the world.

I used sex as a way to feel SOMETHING. Because otherwise I felt nothing at all, ever. When I was having sex, I felt like at least this one person wanted me to be around, even if it lasted for only as long as he did (lol). It felt like for that moment at least I mattered, in whatever minuscule way.

Whoever tries to shame someone for their past is purely an asshole. They are no one and nothing to judge another person, especially when they don’t know shit about someone other than they put their dck in it. So fcking what? A person’s value does not degrade because they have had any number of penises inside them. That very thought is pathetic.

I don’t know if your gf’s story is similar to mine or not. That’s not the point. The point is that sex does not define who we are as a person, nor does who you have had sex with define it either. You met this person that you found to be incredible, and fell in love with her. Good for the both of you! Enjoy that precious gift!

As for your « friends », fck em. They see you happy and thriving, and all they can think to do in response is to try to tear you, your gf, AND your relationship to threads? Leave that trash at the curb where it belongs. I hope you have a long and happy life with your girlfriend! She sounds fking awesome!

Also side note, society is ridiculously harsh witj women, especially when it comes to sex. No wonder your gf broke down when you learned of her past, she probably expected you to change and behave like every other trash man that’s been in her life, that made her feel like sex was something to be ashamed of and that only men should be having. You’re probably the first decent man she’s ever been around!

Puzzled_Diet_2662 – Your friends are pieces of shit losers. It’s good to know she met a nice man like you.