My fiancé (25M) spent our entire savings (which we both were saving for our wedding and honeymoon) to buy a gaming pc. What’s worse is that ever since he got the pc, he has totally ignored me (27F) he has absolutely forgotten that I even exist in his life.
A 27-year-old woman is struggling with her fiancé’s behavior after he spent their entire $8,000 savings—meant for their wedding and honeymoon—on a gaming PC. Since the purchase, he has completely ignored her, stopped doing house chores, and neglected his work responsibilities.
She feels increasingly lonely and is considering reaching out to his parents for help, but is unsure of how to handle the situation. Read the full story below for more details and advice on how to proceed.
‘ My fiancé (25M) spent our entire savings (which we both were saving for our wedding and honeymoon) to buy a gaming pc. What’s worse is that ever since he got the pc, he has totally ignored me (27F) he has absolutely forgotten that I even exist in his life.’
My fiancé and I got engaged in December last year. In January this year, we both together decided to save money every month for our wedding and honeymoon. In 6 months, we saved around $8000.
Last month, my fiancé’s bestfriend bought a new gaming pc, so even my fiancé wanted to buy one, so he asked me, but I denied it because we both already had laptops. I told him that he can play games in the laptop that he already has. He repeatedly kept asking me if he could buy a pc and I finally agreed to it (now I regret it so badly).
After a week, the pc finally came and with the pc, a new table and chair also was delivered. Apparently he had ordered a gaming chair and a table as well. That night, I asked him how much it all cost and he was a little hesitant to tell me. After a while he told me and I was distraught when I heard that he had spent our entire savings of $8000 to buy the pc.
We had a very big argument that night and I scolded him for spending all our savings because that savings contained not only his money but my money as well. And we were saving it for our wedding. After everything I told him, his final reply was “I will earn it all back soon”. I don’t trust those words at all.
I thought anything worse than this couldn’t happen at this moment, but it has. It has been about 2 weeks since he got the pc and since then, my finacé hasn’t gotten up from his new chair. Ever since he got the pc, he hasn’t even seen my face.
The only time he talks to me is when he is hungry, he calls to me and tells me to get him something to eat/drink. I call him to watch TV and he denies it saying that he’s busy. I call him to sleep together and he denies it and says that he’ll sleep later. His sleep schedule has been fucked.
He plays games the whole night and sleeps as 5am and wakes up at 2pm. He’s asleep when I’m awake and he’s awake when I’m asleep. From the past 2 weeks I’ve been so lonely that it feels like I’m alone at home and nobody to even talk to.
He is ignoring me so much that I think he has absolutely forgotten that I even exist in his life. I honestly feel like his waitress now a days because from the past 2 weeks, the only interaction we both have is him asking for food and water and me giving it to him.
He has also 100% stopped doing all the house chores. From the past 2 weeks, I have been the one doing all the house chores and it’s getting very hard for me to do it all alone. We used to share our responsibilities and do all the house chores together, but from the past 2 weeks, he isn’t even taking care of himself.
He is barely even brushing his teeth and taking a bath, let alone do the house chores. Also he is actually supposed to be working from home, but ever since the pc arrived, he hasn’t even touched his laptop to work and he’s isn’t even seeing his phone to check if someone has called/text him anything regarding work. I’m now genuinely afraid that he might lose his job.
Everything that is happening right now is so bad, I called my parents and told them about it last night and they almost had nothing to say. I’m thinking of calling his parents tonight and telling it to them, and maybe they can knock some sense into him. I honestly don’t know what else to do now. I want to burn that pc.
It would be very nice if someone suggested me something about this. Thank you very much for reading this and thank you very much in advance for your comments and suggestions.
Tl;dr : My finacé spent all the money that we were saving for our wedding to buy a gaming pc and now all he does the whole day is play video games. He has totally ignored me and he has forgotten that I even exist in the house. He has also stopped doing all the house chores and has also totally ignored his work that he was supposed to do from home.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Lharka − So. I game. My husband games. We are both avid gamers – him moreso than I – and he lives and breathes his computer. When I read this post out loud and he heard the amount that your (hopefully ex) fiancé blew on his computer, he asked “Does the computer s**k his d**k while he games? Does he s**t into the chair and it power the computer for him?
Even as a hardcore computer gaming enthusiast, I would have to make a considerable effort to spend even HALF of what he did. I don’t know how that’s physically possible even with top-of-the-line hardware.
He either grossly overpaid, or he’s telling her that’s what was spent on the computer, but he’s lying and blew it elsewhere because of the amount of unnecessary s**t that he had to buy in order to get to that number in the first place. That’s f**king insanity.”
It’s been 15 minutes and he’s still ranting about how unbelievable that amount is to spend on a computer. If I were you, and my fiancé pulled that stunt, I would tell him to marry the computer since he’s so dedicated to it that it requires all his time and our joint wedding fund. I’m just going to leave it at that.
MariannaS01 − Also he is actually supposed to be working from home, but ever since the pc arrived, he hasn’t even touched his laptop to work and he’s isn’t even seeing his phone to check if someone has called/text him anything regarding work.
I’m almost sure he either doesn’t have a job anymore or he got himself a vacation. You can’t just not check your laptop/work phone for 2 weeks and still keep your job. After a couple of days of missing work without giving a reason, they either try to get in touch with you through other means or fire you directly.
I agree with the other people that commented – 8000$ for a gaming PC is too much. You really should get to the bottom of this and go from there. But I don’t see how is this salvageable. He clearly doesn’t respect you and seems that he doesn’t really care about you. I wouldn’t marry someone like him.
godmademelikethis − How on earth did he manage to spend 8k on a pc and chair etc. Did he buy a s**tty overpriced prebuild?
justanothercurse − First off, stop catering to him and giving him food and water. Make him get it himself. Second, try your best to have a conversation with him. Tell him to turn the damn thing off for ten minutes and talk to you. That you are worried about how he’s been acting the last two weeks. If something doesn’t change, go spend sometime at your parents or a friends.
Edgar_Allen_Pho − The term you’re looking for is “former fiancé”.
[Reddit User] − Sounds like the PC is half yours, you should take up gaming too! Stop doing things for him. Don’t feed him anymore. And most importantly, d**p him and find an upgrade.
[Reddit User] − No way did he spend 8K on a computer. He is lying where the money went or this whole story is a lie. If it is true that 8K is gone from the account. It was not spent on a computer. Some of it may have been but the rest was used for something else. There are way more questions you should be asking if 8k is really gone. I would ask for receipts for it, half it is yours.
bamboo271 − He’s not mature enough to get married. He sounds like a complete b**. Going to hard to get your $ back, I’d just cut my losses and move on ASAP. Start packing today.
RedReaderMan − Stop enabling him by bringing him food. When he does ask, demand that he explains in detail how and when he will earn back the money. Refuse to discuss any other topic or help him in any way (laundry, dishes, food) until he explains himself.
Once he explains you need to tell him how you feel about all this and how it’s impacting your life and the way you feel about him. His reaction should give you all the info you need to see what your future will look like with this person. When you look at the bigger picture:
1. Spends $8k on a gaming rig (and “gaming” chair)
2. Spends all his time gaming, day and night
3. Dropped all other responsibilities
4. Won’t even get up to get his own snacks
5. Claims he will earn it back soon
He might believe he’s going to become a professional gamer and take home some tournament grand prize. This is about as likely as him becoming an NBA star. Or maybe he’s immature and acting out over some perceived slight and feels entitled to blow the cash and ignore you until you break down and apologize.
Either way your relationship has become toxic and may already be dead. If you decide to stay you need to ask if you’re ready to deal with a repeat incident years down the road, or with a child in the picture if that’s your long term plan.
areyoulogical − Selfish as f**k. I like gaming, but there is no way I would act this selfish and do this to my partner.. Dude needs a reality check. I wouldn’t even CONSIDER marrying a person like this who just outright doesn’t care.. You deserve far better.
When one partner’s behavior causes such a profound shift in the relationship dynamic, it can be difficult to know how to move forward. Have you ever faced a similar situation? How would you approach a partner who seems to have neglected your shared responsibilities and relationship? Share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments below.