My [F27] flatmate [F27] has told my boyfriend [M31] she’s in love with him.

A Reddit user shared their experience of living with a flatmate who recently confessed feelings for the user’s boyfriend. The boyfriend immediately informed the user about the situation, but the atmosphere in the flat has become tense and awkward.

Despite their flatmate’s request to keep the confession secret, the user feels betrayed and unsure how to proceed, especially since moving isn’t an immediate option. To learn more about this delicate situation and how the user is handling it, read the full story below.

‘ My [F27] flatmate [F27] has told my boyfriend [M31] she’s in love with him. ‘

I [F27] moved into my flat in October of last year to take the place of a mutual friend of mine and my new flatmate [F27]. We have a generally great atmosphere in the flat, and both have similar expectations and habits and while we’re not ‘friends’ yet (as in we wouldn’t go out for brunch or be each others plus ones for parties) we are very friendly.

She seems super normal and level. When the lockdown began (March), my boyfriend [M31] of two years was living with his sister, and his mother (undergoing chemo) who lived alone, needed somewhere to stay where she could be looked after, so she moved into his room and he came to stay with us.

My flatmate was totally fine, and we had a proper chat about ground rules etc, but ultimately the flat is huge for two people and she has a kind of granny flat set up in hers. Either way, she gave definite approval. Now, we three got on great, but never really spent a tonne of time together.

We all work from home and spend the occasional evening playing games or whatever, but ultimately we didn’t mingle much more than before. My boyfriend, however, cooks every night for the both of us, as a thank you, and so we do now eat together, and my flatmate seemed happy to be included. It was great.

However, last week, my boyfriend took me aside and told me that while he was in the courtyard hanging out the washing she “ambushed” him from behind and gave a huge speech about how she’s in love with him, and while she “respects” he’s with me, she has deep feelings for him,

and that she’s available if he were single. Oh, and please don’t tell OP. She didn’t try to kiss him, but tried to hold his hand…. He was very anxious and flustered when he was telling me this. The flat atmosphere is VERY awkward now, but as far as she knows, he’s not said a word.

She’s not said anything else to him, but he did mention that she had touched his arm a couple of times as she was walking past recently and it’s really gotten under my skin. My BF is also confused because he hasn’t spent that much time with her apart from dinner, and never alone.

I spoke to our mutual friend who was shocked, and says she’s never done anything like this before, and she’d never known my housemate to have a crush on anyone either. I’ve not seen her acting strangely in any other ways, and it hasn’t outwardly affected how she treats me. We can’t move rn because: virus, money etc. How do I deal with this?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

luciferriising −  Broooo wtf. As the other comment says, have a serious & long conversation with her. Your boyfriend included. This is extremely inappropriate & it’s obviously affected everyone in the flat.

Communicate how it has affected the atmosphere & let her know that she cant be touching up on your boyfriend when he’s yknow, still in a relationship. That’s wrong & disrespectful.

Cocoasneeze −  Absolutely confront her. There are two huge issues here. First, she asked your boyfriend to keep this a secret. And second, yeah, what a trash friend and room mate she is. Crushes happen, but for her to confess to your boyfriend, she was legit wanting him to d**p you for her.

She wasn’t just confessing “if he was single”. She knows he’s not single. She was making her move, but got shot down. And your boyfriend needs to put a stop in the touching etc.

And maybe this is going to be unpopular advice, but do not care one bit how uncomfortable it will make everything, her, the house etc. She did that, not you. You’re just going to call her out on her trash behaviour.

[Reddit User] −  There is no easy solution. Option 1: You sit her down and tell her your BF told you everything, and he is super uncomfortable. Tell her that she crossed major boundaries, and you need time apart. No more shared dinners.

Option 2: Even though it’s a pandemic. Housing is still a priority, and rentals are still allowed to be shown and what not. Start looking into other affordable housing options. Personally I would do both options. I know confrontation is hard and uncomfortable. But what she did was so unbelievably out of line.

And touching your BF is so creepy. You will never feel comfortable around her again, so even though you can’t move out tomorrow. You should start saving and planning for moving out as soon as possible.

AltheaLost −  You have to talk to her about it. If you don’t, she will see your bf silence on the matter as tacit consent. Nip it in the bud before things go way out of control and she ends up s**ually harassing him.

Notreallyvague −  If you say nothing she will believe he never told you. To her, his keeping mum might look like he’s entertaining the idea.

kwisatzhadnuff −  We can’t move rn because: virus, money etc. How do I deal with this? I’ve been in situations like this and the answer is almost always to move out. If it’s impossible now then start saving and planning your move.

WineAndDogs2020 −  What did he tell her in response to this speech? If he has not already done so, HE needs to be the one to make it clear that he is not interested in her, and that he told you because he is not going to keep secrets from you.

elegant_pun −  Tell her that you know everything and that, while she can’t control her feelings, you expect her to behave appropriately and to keep her hands to herself.. End conversation.

greatmamoth −  Well, only thing to do to make it less awkward is talk to her, or someone move out. But what I heard was your BF saying that she professed her love to him and acts flirtatious with him. What I did not hear is where your BF shut her down and assured her to stop her inappropriate actions.

lalalalalawoooo −  I think you should have a talk with her about how inappropriate her conversation with your bf was. However, that’s not going to fix the problem. Anyone who respected you or your relationship wouldn’t put you in this position, especially during a time where you can’t easily leave the situation.

I wouldn’t be rude to her, but I think you need to stop being friendly. If she is still touching him after he told he no then it’s not going to get better. Come up with an exit strategy.