My [F27] boyfriends [M28] centipede escaped and we’re fighting about it. 2 years

A woman (27F) is at odds with her boyfriend (28M) after his venomous Vietnamese centipede escaped its tank just before a planned visit from his brother, sister-in-law, and their crawling baby. She insisted on canceling or warning them, but he dismissed her concerns, saying he could handle the situation if the centipede appeared. When she warned them herself, they canceled, and now her boyfriend is giving her the silent treatment. Read on to explore how this unusual situation unfolded.

 

‘ My [F27] boyfriends [M28] centipede escaped and we’re fighting about it. 2 years’

He has a Vietnamese Centipede (google it) and it came with him when we got our first apartment together a few months ago. He’s into exotic animals so this is his idea of a pet. I didn’t mind, as long as it never left the tank. Now it’s got out somehow. The problem is we’d been going to have his brother, SIL and niece over to visit today. His niece is at the “crawling everywhere” stage. These centipedes are very aggressive and will bite if startled or not handled properly. I said he should cancel the visit until the centipede is found. Or at least warn them!

He said no it’s not a big deal. What? There’s a baby going to be crawling all over with a venomous centipede on the loose? He said she could provoke it into coming out of hiding, then he’d jump in and get it before it could hurt her.

This is f**king insane to me. I get he wants to find his pet, I want it found too but how is it acceptable to put a child at risk?? So I told him if he didn’t tell his brother then I would and they could decide if they came. He said “Fine whatever” and hasn’t spoken to me since that this morning. He DID go call them then, and predictably they didn’t want to come. We rescheduled, but he’s still annoyed at me…for taking safety seriously? We’ve still kept looking for the centipede but I can feel his annoyance at me. Is there something I did wrong?

Tl;dr: My bf’s Vietnamese centipede escaped it’s tank. When I told him we should cancel a visit from his family who has a young child, he didn’t think it was a big deal. Ended up telling them anyway but he’s irritated at me. I don’t think I did anything wrong by bringing up safety concerns. What’s up with his reaction?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

TheIronValkyrie −  I love Vietnamese centipedes. I’ve kept Vietnamese centipedes. I do not, currently, keep Vietnamese centipedes, despite their position as my #1 favorite invert I’ve ever kept. Why? Because I have two small children, and murderpedes are fast, tricky, and mean.

Your boyfriend is acting like an i**ot. Since he’s into exotics, I’m annoyed that he doesn’t realize he’s acting like an i**ot–Exotics keepers do a lot of self-governing within the community and we constantly struggle with local (and larger) authorities to convince them that we’re responsible, safe, and doing things right. Not only is your boyfriend putting a child at risk, he’s doing wrong by both his animal and an entire community of people who keep unconventional animals. I’m also super curious as to how his murderpede got loose to begin with.

[Reddit User] −  Presuming this apartment is not the only one in the building, you need to alert the building this thing is on the loose. These can really hurt someone if they get bit. I’d also be willing to bet that if there are any pet clauses in your apartment lease that this isn’t even allowed. Most complexes specifically say nothing venomous is allowed even if other pets are. P.S. Please tell me you’re not in Minnesota so I can sleep tonight.

lightlurker −  He’s nuts. I can’t believe he would take that chance. I’d be moving out if there was a dangerous pet on the loose and I’m an adult.

patchy_doll −  I keep exotic pets. Tarantulas, millipedes, lizards… a centipede isn’t too unusual for an exotic pet but they are absolutely n**ty and I am genuinely concerned that an infant could be seriously wounded by just one little bite. They aren’t generally fatal to humans… but when that human is extremely young, potentially allergic, and lacks the ability to identify and avoid this type of threat? I would not risk it.

baffled_soap −  I’m sure any parent would appreciate a heads up that a venomous animal is loose in the apartment where they’re planning to bring their toddler. You did the right thing there. Your boyfriend is likely mad because he has an exotic, dangerous (from the sounds of it) pet & doesn’t like that other people take issue with that. Which is a “him” problem, not a “you” problem.

Knowing that he likes exotic pets, is that something you want to be around for the rest of your life? It sounds like this is an important part of his identity, so it’s unlikely this incident will change his mind on having other pets in the future.

fistulatedcow −  1. I am very aggressively NOT googling that lmao. 2. So like….he wants to use his niece as bait essentially. This is literally the *stupidest* thing I’ve read all week and the fact that he doesn’t understand how wrong it is to not tell the parents of a small child that there is a venomous arthropod on the loose in his house is nuts. If his brother and SIL came over without knowing and Niece got bitten, they would be so unbelievable angry at your BF. You didn’t do anything wrong in my opinion.

thatwishywashy −  Good job alerting the parents of the baby OP, now please alert the rest of your f**king APARTMENT BUILDING! I would be so pissed if my apartment neighbors venomous centipede was loose and unaccounted for and they didn’t tell me. I’d be “sue the ground out from under you” pissed.

Luidaeg −  According to Wikipedia, they’re only known to have killed a human being once, but that was a seven year old girl that got bitten on the head. There’s an outside chance that it could have been deadly for the baby niece, and even if not deadly, it absolutely would have required emergency medical attention. You not only made the right call, but I’d be seriously reconsidering a relationship with someone this obtuse and self-centered that he was willing to use his baby niece as bait for his venomous pet.

UnsureThrowaway975 −  All I can say is that if someone actively and knowingly endangered my child the way he’s describing here, I would never speak to them again. They would be lucky to not get beaten. Seriously, what kind of s**t does that?

You don’t endanger other people without their or their parents consent. Not to find your pet, not take a crap, not for any reason at all. Doing so is INCREDIBLY selfish. You especially don’t endanger a child because of a pet. Because I GUARENTEE you that if either of that babies parents saw the damn thing try to bite, they would have stomped that sucker so f**king fast. And then, upon figuring out your BF new his venemous pet was on the loose, never spoke to him again.

romansapprentice −  I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I would not stay in a relationship with someone like this. This situation shows so many different, serious flaws with him;

They aren’t just aggressive. They are also very fast and extremely intelligent. You need a specific tank or put multiple weights on top of a normal one — if you don’t, they figure out how to open the tank. Then they go out of their way to viciously attack anything that moves.
Your boyfriend knew this, yet allowed the centipede to get out anyways. I know people who own these animals — they literally have multiple locks and weights on their cages, they always know where this animal is, because it can seriously hurt somebody. This kind of centipede has killed kids before.

So your boyfriend has allowed this situation to happen, which is already an issue. Forget the kid — this animal will hurt you if it doesn’t die first. Yet not only did he allow that to be a possibility, he doesn’t even seem to care. What is the point of having a boyfriend around if he’ll willingly let you get bit by a centipede? I’m not trying to be funny but lol really???

Also, his idea that he can just jump on top of it to capture it is unbelievably moronic. They are way too fast. I wouldn’t be with someone who is so careless with dangerous situations, who just poses ideas that would make it even worse. And then there’s the issue of the young child. Anyone who could be so careless with the health and safety of a child is someone I would leave.. Good luck, try not to get eaten by the centipede lol…