My [F25] husband [M26] doesn’t want me to put my maiden name on our front door. How do i deal with this?

A Reddit user, 25/F, is facing a disagreement with her husband, 26/M, over how to honor her family’s history in the apartment they are renovating. The apartment has been passed down through generations,

and she wants to include her maiden family name alongside her married surname on the front door to preserve the connection to her family legacy. Her husband, however, feels that only their shared last name should be displayed, leading to tension as she struggles to balance honoring her past with her new life together.

‘ My [F25] husband [M26] doesn’t want me to put my maiden name on our front door. How do i deal with this?’

Hello. Me and my husband are renovating my grandpa’s apartment. The apartment is being passed down generations. It was my grandfathers, then my father’s now it’s mine. It’s also under my name as im the third generation living there.

We’ve been debating getting a piece engraved with our names and last name for our front door. By marriage i took his last name. And i said we should put our names and the last name we share.

And under that we can put my family maiden name with smaller letters just so people would know that the apartment is still in the family. Not only other people but also it means to me and our family. My husband strongly disagreed and was kinda rude saying i should put only our names and his last name.

I didn’t like his tone also. I might sound selfish and you could judge me for saying this but this isn’t his dad’s or grandfather’s apartment. It means the world to me that my dad decided to give the apartment to me and to US together so we could share our lives there just as my grandparents and my parents did.

I feel like im losing part of myself and part of my family by not putting our family name on the door. My grandfather worked very very hard to achieve all of what i have right now. And its kind of small appreciation. I love my husband and i love my new last name but also i cant just let go of my past self and my other family.. 

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

HoosierBeaver −  Be careful about putting your husband’s name on the deed also. The apartment is considered inheritance, which is not considered marital property in the case of divorce. But if he helps pay for any costs related to it, like property taxes, repairs or renovations, he can demand half the value, or force the sale of it during a divorce.

And god forbid you die, he can claim it as his instead of it going to someone else in your family. I’d consult a lawyer on how to protect it so you don’t end up losing it in the future. Just putting his name on the door could be in his favor, as he could claim that you implied it was half his. Be careful. Very careful.

TheSpeckledSir −  If you’re inheriting the house in your name, then it’s up to you what will be written on your door. I’d encourage your husband to have an honest conversation with you about why your maiden name makes him feel insecure.

If you think his reasons are good, you could accomodate him. If not, you’ve got a house and a door.. Decorate it as you will, I say.

Kikikididi −  Change your name back and just put your name alone on it, jokes on him

Muss_ich_bedenken −  Your husband sees you as property or what?

theequeenbee3 −  I would put my father and grandfather’s last name. Not my married last name

RedneckDebutante −  Just for that, it would be MY NAME – and mine alone – that would be going on MY door. Somebody is getting too big for his britches.

Anthroman78 −  And under that we can put my family maiden name with smaller letters just so people would know that the apartment is still in the family. Not only other people but also it means to me and our family. Seems like such a weird thing to get rude over.

Tell him it’s your family’s apartment being passed down to you and you want your family’s name on it. He’s welcome to leave his name off if he likes. Then put your family name on it.

Quicksilver1964 −  Put the name of your family there. The apartment is not his, it’s yours. It’s your family’s. Tell him that he can put his name too or you will only put your family’s name there.

Flat_Ad1094 −  Can’t believe you two are arguing over this!! Lordy!! Your husband is a d**k. And clearly a bit of a misogynist. I’d tell him to rack off. I’d get a plaque saying “The Jones family” (your maiden name. The family name that the apartment has been passed down from) If you want to. Another one saying “Bill and Jean Peterson” Poo baa

hyphenthis −  Girl, why are you even asking on reddit? Just do it. Is this man your husband or your ruler? Many women don’t even change their last name anymore, maybe you should tell him you’re gonna change it back to your maiden name.

Are we so meek and oppressed that we can’t say “I am doing this because it’s my family’s property”? People only have as much power as you allow them to have.