My Daughter Isn’t Biologically Mine – But She’s Still My World. How Do I Make Her Believe That?

A Reddit user (48M) recently discovered that his 19-year-old daughter isn’t biologically his after a man claiming to be her father showed up unexpectedly. While he is devastated by his wife’s betrayal, his primary concern is his daughter, who has been struggling emotionally and even attempted to take her own life.

She calls herself a “bastard” and distances herself from her family, only apologizing to him. Despite everything, he loves her unconditionally and wants to help her understand that she is still his daughter, no matter what. Now, he’s seeking advice on how to support her through this painful revelation. Read the original story below…

‘ My Daughter Isn’t Biologically Mine – But She’s Still My World. How Do I Make Her Believe That?’

My little girl thinks that her existence is evil. We found out recently that her mother, my wife of 23 years, cheated on me when the man claiming to be her biological father showed up on our doorstep demanding to see her and claiming he didn’t know she existed.

It’s been quite possibly the worst few weeks of my life, but she took it so much worse than I did. She calls herself a b**tard. She won’t talk to her siblings or her mother, and only apologizes to me. I don’t give a f**k if she’s half t-rex, I love her with every bone in my body,

and she tried to take her life last night. My wife found her. She’s going to be okay but this can’t happen again. I can’t talk to anyone about this, I don’t want my family to know. I don’t know how to be what she needs. Please help.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

ajraxen −  First of all, make sure you tell her this. She likely feels as though this is her fault in a way, and needs reassurance that her existence is a blessing to you regardless of her mother’s actions. Additionally, therapy, both individual and family (you two, but also perhaps the other children as time progresses / if needed). Above all, just be there for her and tell her as many times as she needs that you love her.

kamjam16 −  You should both see a therapist. But I will say, this isn’t the kind of thing you should cover up. Don’t make this a dirty family secret. Maybe now isn’t the right time, but family needs to know. Family you can trust to keep hers and your best interests at heart.

Don’t sweep it under the rug. That’s something to discuss with a therapist though. Besides that, just keep trying to impress on her that there isn’t a piece of paper in the world that will change your feelings for her.. Good luck

Dianachick −  Ask your daughter, if now that she knows, does she still see you as her dad and does she love you any less? Of course, she will say she still sees you as her dad and she doesn’t love you any less. Then you can ask her why she would think it would be any different for you.

Give her a few moments to think about that, and then tell her, “You were my daughter from the moment I knew you existed. You’ve been my daughter this entire time. You’re always going to be my daughter. Your brothers and sisters are still your brothers and sisters. Your mom is still your mom and the choice your mom made all those years ago doesn’t change the love I have for you.“. Edit: punctuation

tonidh69 −  Honey, this is above Reddit paygrade. You should all seek counseling. I’m so sorry. Updateme

metsgirl289 −  First, you need to make sure she’s not a continuing danger to herself. That may entail a psych evaluation.

aimeed72 −  I understand that you don’t want your family to know, but she is suffering from terrible shame. The most powerful thing you could do – for yourself as well as for her – is not to hide the truth. Show her that you and she have no reason to be ashamed.

Show her that your love is unconditional in the most powerful way possible, by showing your love for her to your family and world at large. Nothing could have a greater impact on her than you standing publicly by her and making sure everyone knows she’s YOUR daughter.

Odd_Welcome7940 −  First of all I don’t want to sound rude but let me ask…. Are you staying with your wife?

droble77 −  Seek professional help for your daughter immediately. Maybe even reach out to one of those prevention hotlines, they may have useful resources to point you to. If possible, try not to keep her out of your sight for the next few days until the initial crisis feelings start to wear off.

Wise-Respond-9071 −  You are the true definition of DAD. I hope your daughter realizes how much you love her.

Memebox9 −  Was there a paternity test to confirm this?

Family is more than just DNA—it’s love, devotion, and the bonds built over a lifetime. This father’s unwavering love is proof that real parenthood isn’t about biology, but about showing up and being there when it matters most. What advice would you give to someone in his position? Share your thoughts on what truly makes a family.