My boyfriend[22M] told my best friend that he has fallen for her[21F].

A Redditor shared how their boyfriend admitted he had fallen for their best friend, despite being in a committed relationship. The betrayal unfolded during a break they agreed on, with the boyfriend crossing boundaries at the best friend’s birthday party. The user now questions whether to trust either of them again. Read the full story below.

‘ My boyfriend[22M] told my best friend that he has fallen for her[21F].’

I\[22F\] am an understanding and supportive girlfriend, at least I strive to be that person. I have been with my boyfriend through his d**g addiction, his university failures, him changing into a new university, etc.

For the past month, my boyfriend, Nick, has been hanging out with my best friend, Emily. They text, they share memes and she knows about him as much as I do, if not more. I am not an overly jealous person but it did make me uncomfortable when I realized that they had been spending hours together, just the two of them.

Obviously I confronted them about it and both of them reassured me that it was nothing. During this time he also started bringing up things like, “he needs his freedom and his independence and focus on his career,” despite knowing I have been very supportive of his decision to change degrees and have been with him throughout the process and would not come in between him and his career.

Recently my boyfriend told me that he felt very stressed in school and needed time to focus on it and wasn’t sure if he could put enough effort into our relationship and I told him we could take a break, while he figured out what he wanted. Despite the break (where we agreed to not date other people) we still hung out and there wasn’t any bad blood.

But yesterday at my best friend’s birthday party while I was inside, a friend of mine comes to tell me that Emily has her legs on Nick’s lap and he’s been massaging her upper thighs and whatnot. Obviously, I tried to be calm, but I did go out and see what was happening.

I saw them sitting very close to one another, with his hand far up her thighs and the moment he saw me, he pulled back like he’d been burned. It was so awkward for me as we’d just been out together a day before and Nick gave me the vibes that our break was really temporary.

I confronted them after the party and my boyfriend kept bringing the whole “freedom” and “independence” thing and I broke up with him for real there because it was a little too much to deal with. I told my best friend, she has hurt me immensely and I left. My bf still stayed at her place after but apparently, nothing happened in between them.

Anyway, the next day Emily calls me and she apologized to me, telling me she didn’t realize it was such a huge thing and they were just being playful. She then proceeded to tell me that Nick told her he has fallen for her, she again reassured me that I mattered to her most and that she wasn’t going to be in contact with Nick anymore because she doesn’t like him and I know that is true because he is not her type.

But I know that she loves attention, no matter if she’s into the guy or not. I don’t completely trust her because she did lead him on, knowing how that would make me feel. She kept on promising me that she won’t talk to him anymore that she loves me, but honestly, their behaviour have really broken my trust on them.

As for my boyfriend, I haven’t been texting him because he knowingly hurt me, was dishonest to me, despite all the things I’ve done for him. He still insisted that his school is really affecting him and is the priority, but it’s difficult to trust him after his actions.

I blame him more as he was definitely aware of what was happening. I feel heavily exhausted and drained because of this and I would really appreciate some advice to help get me back up on my feet as I did not realize how bad this would hurt. I managed to keep my self-respect and calm in front of them, but it really hurt me from within.

\[TL;DR: Boyfriend tells my best friend that he’s fallen for her, and I need to know if I should trust either one of them anymore.\]

Edit: to everyone who’s telling he’s not my boyfriend and I shouldn’t refer to him, I know and I agree. I also wrote this post like a day after all the incidents happened and I was so used to referring him that way that it came out on it’s own.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

fiery_valkyrie −  So your boyfriend wanted to break up but instead of just coming out and saying it, he gave you a whole bunch of crap about freedom and independence and then immediately went and hit up your best friend, making you be the one to actually instigate the breakup.

Forget him. That relationship is over. As for your friend, how much did she know about the ‘break’ you were on? Did she think he was single? It’s still poor behaviour, but it’s up to you if you want to talk to her and see if the friendship can be salvaged.

ScarlettWilson13 −  Oh my god, you are a lovely person and you don’t deserve to be treated like this!! No friend would let her best friend’s boyfriend rub her thighs ! Whilst she was at the same party!!!! Walk away from both of them. Your friend is not blameless. She knew he was your boyfriend. She went home with him!! Honestly – these are terrible people. You don’t need them in your life. Walk away and focus on your other friends and your work. Life’s too short to waste time on these sort of people.

IChooseYouSnorlax −  Sis, you deserve SO MUCH BETTER than those two dumpster fires. You deserve a best friend who will have your back, not stab you in it. She is a horrible friend, you owe her nothing. Your ex boyfriend should stay your ex. You’ve wasted enough time with him. He doesn’t deserve you, doesn’t deserve another chance.. You’re better off without them.

[Reddit User] −  So your boyfriend is addicted to drugs, flunked out of university, and is now cheating on you with your best friend? And your best friend is the type of person who needs validation so much that she’s willing to cause her best friend’s boyfriend to fall in love with her? And you’re still here, tolerating this?. Girl.

reddish4radish −  Damn, that’s a lot to process! It’ll probably take you a while to recover. For now, I’d cut my ties with that friend of yours. She engaged in completely inappropriate behavior with your ex. Not only did she allow physical contact up until a point where another friend felt like telling you, but, she used your bf to satisfy her narcissistic need for attention.

At no point did she consider your feelings! And for what it’s worth; she didn’t consider you ex’s feelings neither. She is a man eater, as they say. It is okay to be sad for a while. Right now there is nothing you can do, but in a month or so, when you feel a bit better, it is a great time to reorient your social life. In the long run, you are just better off without toxic people in your life. Take this experience as a revelation of the truth, as something that can help you to become happier.

maps2001 −  You need a new boyfriend and a new best friend, not necessarily in that order.

[Reddit User] −  Break up with both of them.

sh2nn0n −  My best friend would never do this to me not I her…despite us both having had the opportunity in the past. D**p her like you dumped him, imo.

Evie_St_Clair −  There’s a difference between being understanding and supportive and enabling and being a doormat.

I_eat_cake999 −  Out with the old, in with the new. You are still young. No point brooding over this matter. In fact, it’s better that this situation unfold itself now before you guys committed to settling down.

Should the Redditor try to salvage their friendships or move on completely after this betrayal? How would you handle rebuilding trust in a situation like this? Share your thoughts below!