My boyfriend wants me to quit my job and rely on him to go travel the world together, am I being naive?
A Reddit user (23F) working as a cabin crew member in Dubai shares her dilemma about whether to quit her job and travel the world with her boyfriend (25M). While she enjoys her life in Dubai, her boyfriend wants her to rely on him financially for their travels, offering a year’s salary as insurance.
Despite his offer and the support of her family, she feels conflicted about the risks involved, especially since his job isn’t entirely secure. She seeks advice on whether it’s naive to consider leaving her stable career for an uncertain future with him. Read the original story below to get the full picture and hear what others have to say!
‘ My boyfriend wants me to quit my job and rely on him to go travel the world together, am I being naive? ‘
Advice needed please! I’m an airlines cabin crew (23F) and live in Dubai, have a great life here but the job isn’t as glamorous as you’d imagine, however still quite content. I’ve been with my boyfriend (25M) for a year now and he is keen for me to quit and go travel the world with him as what he does he can do from anywhere.
He wants to experience as many places as possible. He stayed here through the summer last year for me (which if anyone knows Dubai it’s an actual hellhole because of the heat) and has said he won’t do it again in 2025.
The whole thought of relying on someone scares me, but he’s said he will give me a year’s salary as sort of insurance for me because he knows I’m apprehensive. His job isn’t exactly the most legit job ever and has some risks. Despite his job, my family really like him but are also worried for me.
I’m really stuck between the idea of living my life to the fullest as much as I can as a 23 year old or doing the sensible, not as fun, thing and stay here alone. Honest opinions please… is this stupidity?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
spacey_a − It’s a bad idea. But if you do it, you need to have several detailed backup plans that you can carry out by yourself, if at any point the worst happens and he is unwilling or unable to assist you any further. And you need to ask yourself, and him, some extremely difficult questions.
Will he give you the full year’s pay up front? Is it a gift, free and clear of expectations or requirements? If not, it’s not really yours. It’s his and he will choose what to do with it, if he even gives you some of it is always up in the air. Worse, it might be a loan that he expects you to pay off in the form of favors, or neverending debt.
Will he expect you to do as you’re told/do what he wants because he is “gifting” you the trip and the money? Red, red flags all around. Not a safe situation. What is his actual budget for the trip? Where is that money coming from, and is it risky or is it guaranteed? He might not even be planning properly himself and could get you both stranded.
What happens if you want to do different activities than him during the trip? Will he be making all the decisions? Set expectations now. Do not give him control of your safety. What happens if he gets upset with you over something and doesn’t feel like buying you food or transportation anymore?
What happens if one or both of you wants to break up? What are his plans, and what are your plans?
What will YOU do if he leaves you stranded somewhere without money or plans? Do you have emergency money, a support network you will be able to contact (AND their phone numbers written down), your passport at hand?
What is the plan if he or you gets slightly hurt or sick while abroad? What if it’s more serious? How will you take care of each other, do you have the funds to stay in one place for a bit during recovery, will you BOTH have travel insurance (which is extremely important, do NOT go without it)?
Also you absolutely need to keep your personal documents and emergency items with YOU at all times. Do not let him “hold onto” them for you. You will NEED:.
– Enough cash to get home
– Your phone. Unlock it before the trip so you can buy a sim card and have mobile data outside your country. You will need that if you don’t have access to Wi-Fi.
– Written down phone numbers of your support network at home.
– Your passport and several printed copies of the main pages of your passport. Never give it to anyone to hold onto. It’s your way home.
Make several printed copies of your passport so you can give them to hotels and such as needed along the way, but NEVER give up your actual passport to anyone to hold onto. Keep it yourself, and keep it locked up somewhere safe at night (hotel, safe or locked up suitcase which is locked by cable to something unmovable in the room, etc.).
All in all, yes, it is naive to rely on someone else, especially someone with a sketchy job who would have full control over your safety instead of you having that control.
You shouldn’t do it if you don’t have the means to leave him if needed, fend for yourself alone in a foreign place, and get back home safely. But if you’re going to do it anyway, do it as smartly as you can.
Above all, **do not accept** any answers to the above that are just, “he wouldn’t do that to me,” or “he’ll take care of me,” or, “it’ll work out somehow.” You need to get real, concrete answers and create backup plans for yourself that do not include him or his help.
gissna − Girl, do not do that. Absolutely travel the world but don’t be trapped by someone else’s finances. That is such a huge amount of control to someone you haven’t really known that long.
Acornwow − Lived in the UAE for 7 years and knew a bunch of people working for Emirates/Etihad. You don’t want to leave your job after such a short time. They won’t rehire you because they won’t want to pay for the retraining or the process to get you back into their process/system/housing/visas etc. They will see you as a high-risk since you might do it again and they will just reject your applications.
That being said – if I had a dollar for every young cabin crew lady I met who told a story about how the guy she was seeing was promising her a extravagant lifestyle or to take care of her if she’d just dedicate herself to him… $$$
I can also tell you plenty of stories of ladies working as cabin crew there who got fooled by pilots who swore they were going to leave their wife’s for them, local Emiratis who promised marriage, finance bros who said they’d take care of them, and on and on. 90% of those stories ended up with tears because of lying and cheating and some even ended with them moving back home because their lives had been screwed up.
You are already in a really good spot. Find a guy who is working a stable job there and who can align his holiday schedule with yours. Make use of the discounted tickets and fly business class to everywhere you want to go for a fraction of the price. Use the money you save to stay in nice hotels and resorts and rest easy because you know if your relationship falls apart for whatever reason you still have a landing pad and a job.
taphin33 − It sounds too good to be true. That sounds like you’re going to get trafficked. The number one way women get trafficked is by a man they’re dating. Start the business FIRST from home if you really want to do this. Have you ever traveled internationally for a short period of time with him? Why jump immediately into “travel forever” instead of testing the waters? Honestly, I’d only consider this with a husband and a prenup.
BitcoinMD − Uh, I feel like you kinda glossed over the most important part, which it sounds like he is maybe a criminal?
coyk0i − Don’t ever hand your life over to a man.
Zorgas − NEVER. Ever. No. Protect yourself from the chance your partner will become an a**hole. Never go entirely into someone else’s power.
u-neek_username − Do not even entertain this. Never give up your financial independence.
FRANPW1 − You NEVER quit a career for a man. ESPECIALLY for a man you aren’t married to or engaged. Period. Do you realize that you have an excellent job with benefits??? Those are hard to find. Good luck to you.
Molatov_Bubblebath − You’re young so I imagine you’re not really seeing what a massive red flag this request alone is. Don’t do it. He will have WAY too much control over you/your life. Especially with someone you’ve only been dating for a year.
You do not know how he’ll be in a variety of scenarios. I did a similar thing with an ex and he dumped me on the road in the middle of the outback because I’d forgotten my shoes on the roof of our car and they flew off. When I went to go retrieve them, he just shut my door and drove off.
My ID and money was in the car so I was literally stranded in the middle of the desert with nothing other than my shoes. He eventually came back to get me (2 hours later,) but it was a hellish 2 hours waiting to flag down someone to help me on a stretch of highway that sees very few travellers.
I was with him for three years at that point. Never EVER let anyone have control over your life, in any way, that you don’t know really well. For your own safety. If you’re meant to be together, he’ll come back to you.
Do you think the Reddit user is being too cautious by hesitating to quit her job, or is it reasonable to be wary of such a big leap, especially considering the risks involved? Would you follow your dreams of travel and adventure, or stick with the security of a steady career? Share your thoughts in the comments below!