My Boyfriend Is ‘Uncomfortable’ with Me Breastfeeding My Newborn – Should I Give In or Stand My Ground?
A Reddit user shared that her boyfriend is uncomfortable with her breastfeeding their newborn and has been pressuring her to switch to formula. Despite her explanation about the cost and her baby’s preference for breast milk, he continues to send her alarming articles about breastfeeding. She refuses to stop breastfeeding, but now he has stopped speaking to her. Read the original post below…
‘ My Boyfriend Is ‘Uncomfortable’ with Me Breastfeeding My Newborn – Should I Give In or Stand My Ground?’
I’m 16 and recently had a baby. It wasn’t my choice to keep him—I was pressured into it—but now that he’s here, I’m doing my best. I breastfeed because it’s natural, free, and my baby prefers it over formula. Yesterday, my boyfriend of three years called me on FaceTime while I was feeding, and his reaction shocked me.
He asked why I don’t just buy formula. Then, he started spamming me with articles about supposed dangers of breastfeeding—most of which are obviously fake. When I told him to stop, he admitted that he just doesn’t like it and wants me to quit because he is uncomfortable.
Since I refused, he hasn’t spoken to me. I feel like he’s trying to control my choices as a mother, but part of me wonders if I’m overreacting. Should I stand my ground, or is there a way to make him understand?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
burgerchucker − Generally I am happy to chip in with my advice, and I am usually pretty good at getting a point across but this one needs a professional! Calling u/Ebbie45 Sorry to bother you Ebbie but can you take this one… please note OP’s comments like this one: He doesn’t have a reason to be jealous, the child is only a burden to me. and this one…
It wasn’t my choice to get pregnant and I was guilted into keeping it by my parents. and, worryingly this one… I didn’t cheat on him, I got pulled into a bathroom stall and was assaulted OP, I think you need some serious support, have you got anyone like grandparents or aunties/uncles/older siblings who can support you against your parents abusiveness? Keep breastfeeding that baby too, and best of luck!
totesnotanalien − I’m kind of shocked no one is talking about the fact this girl is 16, was assaulted and forced to have a child? I know she’s asking for advice on her boyfriend but there’s clearly a bigger issue here to focus on. (But on that note he’s being dumb, you’re doing something natural. Tell him to get on board or shut up about it.)
Honey, your body went through 2 traumas and I believe you’re at a very high risk for PPD. Do you have ANY help at all? Were you offered a therapist, any family that could help, an adult that you trust in your life? Edit: I used the word “a**ault” because that’s the word OP chose and I’m trying to respect that. Do I view it as rape? Yes. But it wasn’t *my* experience, it was *hers*.
ConsistentDeal2 − Have all these comments just completely ignored the age? And this?. shamed into keeping it. There’s wayyy more to address here than these boilerplate “men shouldn’t be uncomfortable with boobs” responses.
franfries1 − He’s immature, find someone who isn’t bugged out by a boob. EDIT: Like many others are saying, it really is in your best interest to get some help. What you went through may have been very traumatic, and theirs no shame in seeking professional help. Your boyfriend is a different topic that can be addressed later, but the priority at this point is making sure that you are okay.
firewifegirlmom0124 − I’m so sorry this has happened to you and that you feel like the baby is a burden. No one should ever have to raise the product of their s**ual a**ault, especially by being guilted/shamed into it. It sounds like you are trying to make the best of a bad situation. Please continue to breastfeed if you still intend to keep the baby.
If you truly feel the baby is a burden (and this won’t be a popular opinion) it isn’t too late to put the baby up for adoption. But if you do intend to keep/raise the baby, take a giant step back from your boyfriend. Continue to breastfeed and build a bond with your baby so that you can see baby as a tiny person in and of themselves, not an extension of your a**ault.
So much gentle support to you. I had a baby at 16 and while it wasn’t the result of a**ault, there was some coercion involved. If you want to talk or vent, DM me. I have a daughter your age, I can’t imagine how I’d feel if you were her.
_flowerchild95_ − OP, I sent you a private message of support, but let me say this for people who are acting stupid: Stop asking OP about her pregnancy came to light, read the comments. Making her retell the story is traumatic and unnecessary when you can go to her profile and read the comments. Stop saying it’s a fake post or acting like a j**k, this is a 16 year old y’all, who’s really going through it right now. Show your support or don’t comment.
khoonchaand − Boobs are like trainsets. Made for babies, but men end up playing with them!. Tell him to grow up
sexystegosaurus − The real baby is your boyfriend.
adullploy − The dangers of breastfeeding? Didn’t know such articles existed.
scorpio6519 − OP for your sake and the baby’s I hope you are talking to your therapist about ways of giving the baby up. I am aching for you. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Other than this I wish the crisis counsellor Ebbe would chime in. This is way beyond the advice of Redditors.
You are a brave girl and your boyfriend is immature. I loved that comment about boobs and trains being for babies. Please keep us updated because this is one of those posts that will stay in my mind and heart and I really hope to read you found a good home for your baby and that you are healing and working toward your future. ❤️ Hugs to you.
This situation presents a conflict of personal choices and beliefs in a relationship. Should she try to find a compromise with her boyfriend, or is it crucial to stand firm in her choice for the baby’s wellbeing? What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comments!