My Birth Parents Who Abandoned Me Are Flaunting My Success—How Do I Handle This?

A Reddit user shared their frustration about their birth parents, who abandoned them as a child, now flaunting their success around town. After years of rejection and mistreatment, the user has become successful and is now being used by their birth parents to claim credit for their accomplishments.

The user wants to stop their parents from spreading false narratives and taking credit, but without drawing attention to themselves or sounding overly dramatic. To explore how others are dealing with similar situations, read the full story below.

‘ My Birth Parents Who Abandoned Me Are Flaunting My Success—How Do I Handle This? ‘

My father stayed married and my mother took off with my brother leaving me with friends as a toddler. She says it was because I was u**y. Father informed but not interested when I went into foster care and I stayed there until I found out who they were at 18. I’ve read the court papers as to my foster care.

They just didn’t want me. My childhood was horrific. My father maintained contact with my mother and brother. I have always lived 30 minutes away at most from my birth parents in the same area. My grandmother was coincidentally my neighbour.

She found out who I was through gossip and would send photos of me growing to my birth parents as a joke. She knew about the abuse and did nothing. She’s dead. I left ‘home’ at 17 was homeless and have done everything myself. My full and half siblings from both sides have been well looked after by my parents.

At 18+ I reached out to them and my father was remarried and made plans to see me repeatedly he never showed up for. He said it would upset his new family. My mother had a lot more children and had forgotten about me really. I contacted them when I had my son and that was it and I heard nothing back.

UNTIL. I’ve been in the media a fair bit and my friends have told me that my parents have been bragging about me and taking credit for how I look and my successes. My mother’s side of the story is now that I was cruelly ripped from her b**ast and forced into foster care.

She compares herself to the irish homes of unwed mothers and forced adoptions. Oh WOE IS HER. My father is now an example of the injustice of the court system against fathers and how this is just further proof! Oh WOE IS HIM. They talk about how I look like so and so and that I wouldn’t be here without them.

That my nieces and nephews Ive never met are ‘just like me’ and how I should give them the same opportunities I have had in my career. How that’s what we do for ‘family’. How I need to ‘grow up’ and get past it.

I blocked contact after they wanted things, but this nonsense spreads easily and I am sick of being whispered about. I don’t want anything off them, I want to be left alone. They want me to meet their other grandkids at parties and they’ve apologised for the govt/family/god possibly/ the great spaghetti monster keeping us apart.

If I contact them it is further fuel for the fire. If I don’t stand up for myself I look heartless and cruel. I don’t want to leave just yet as my son is finishing school soon, I just want them to stop.. Any advice?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Doughchild −  Do a Mariah: “I don’t know them.” You wouldn’t be lying, you only share genetic material with these people, that’s about it. If you are asked for your opinion, you can honestly state that you were raised through foster care, because your biological parents made different choices and you worked your way up from a disadvantaged position alone.

Be factual. They can share their perspective, you can share your own. He said/she said, but you’re the owner of your side. As the person who’s achieving things in the media, your story will be more emphasized.

Tata_zooom −  You can’t control their actions, only your own. Block and ignore, and if someone you talk to (either at work, a friend’s house, the grocery store) mentions something your parents etc may have said, you can just say: “I’m really surprised that this is their version of the story since that is not at all what I experienced and know happened.” and then move on.

Audssonders −  Hmmm if you’re big enough maybe get into a charity for foster kids and when asked why, say that your experience with parents who didn’t want you influenced you to help kids who are also stuck in the system.

overactive-bladder −  don’t involve yourself in a ”he said she said” situation because, trust me, people will pile up the dirt even more onto you, and YOU will look like the trouble maker. carry on doing your thing, stay in your lane, focus on your life and success, and continue cutting them off.

you cannot win with the people. and those outside the circle won’t be convinced of you put things in perspective.

[Reddit User] −  I had a similar issue, my parents taking credit for something they actually blocked and set me back 10 years. I had so many plans to expose them, but ultmately the answer is ignore them. Ask yourself: what do you *really* care what people think about them?

Sure, it’s annoying but it can only annoy you *if you give it head space* That said, when a TV interviewer asked me if my parents helped me to achieve my goals, I simply said “no, they actively blocked me” and declined to expand on that.

crazybitchgirl −  If you are well known enough maybe an interview about your experiences in the system, and casually mention how it was made worse by finding the court documents about how your parents did not want you, etc! They do not deserve to even speak your name nevermind brag about your success!

freespirit8888 −  I am not sure the type of city/ town you live in (guessing it’s a small one where everyone knows everyone). Something I have seen before (might not apply to you) – is local newspapers do write up about personal stories of achievement.

Perhaps you would like to tell your story in a local article about your experience growing up, the moment you found out how your parents abandon you, your struggles, your ability to overcome adversity, where you are now and how people previously shunted you are now trying to get into your life.

That, would shut them up for good. Don’t contact them ever again. The friends that know both you and them, tell them straight up you don’t want anything to do with your family and never to speak about them to you. They are toxic to you and hearing about them all the time are just continual cuts into you soul.

IcyWheel −  How old is your son? You should move out of the area. There really is no good reason to keep this pain going.

small_e_900 −  You owe them nothing.. Be certain that they get it.

WaxyWingie −  You’d save yourself a lot of heartache by blocking them all on social media and cutting contact. Just because you share DNA doesn’t mean you owe these assholes anything. Also, you do not owe them explanations for your actions.