My BF (34 M) just proposed to me (30 F) and his sister felt left out for not knowing before it happened.. Made me sad. Do I have the right to feel this way?
A 30-year-old woman recently got engaged to her boyfriend (34), but her excitement is dampened by his sister’s hurt feelings. She feels left out because she wasn’t informed about the proposal ahead of time.
Despite the couple’s intention to keep it a surprise. Now, she’s giving them the silent treatment, overshadowing the couple’s joy. Read the full story below.
‘ My BF (34 M) just proposed to me (30 F) and his sister felt left out for not knowing before it happened.. Made me sad. Do I have the right to feel this way?’
My boyfriend (34M) recently proposed to me (30F) with the help of his married brother. He had already asked for my family’s approval and shared with them his plan to propose in December. He was still working out the details, like the location, budget, and finding the perfect ring.
However, when our anniversary came last November, he decided it was the perfect time and went ahead with the proposal. My family was overjoyed, though a bit surprised since they expected it to happen later. My mom even cried tears of happiness.
To keep it a surprise, he involved only his brother in the planning, and they kept it between themselves. Even his brother’s wife didn’t know until the day of the proposal. Prior the proposal, my boyfriend called his family to share the news. His other brother was happy and supportive, as was his mom.
His sister, however, didn’t answer his call (still asleep) and likely found out after we shared the announcement publicly. Now, his sister has been giving us the silent treatment because she feels left out, believing she was the only one not informed.
However, the truth is that only my boyfriend and his brother knew about the proposal from the beginning. They deliberately kept it quiet to ensure I wouldn’t find out, especially since I have access to my boyfriend’s phone.
This situation has been disappointing for us because we’ve always supported and adjusted for everyone else in the family. The proposal was meant to be a highlight of our year, but this issue has overshadowed our happiness. It’s upsetting because we feel like our joy was taken away before we could even fully celebrate it.
Check out how the community responded:
babyyodawg − She’ll get over it. You’ve done nothing wrong, and she didn’t need to know anyway.
Pixatron32 − Some people will always take away what is meant to be a happy moment for others to shine the light on themselves even if it’s to support a victim mentality.. She’s being ridiculous.
Don’t let her bring you and your fiancee down! Enjoy this and pop up a metaphorical umbrella so she doesn’t rain on your parade. It’s her loss she is acting this way at what is a momentous occasion!
cressidacole − Enjoy the silence while it lasts, because I’ll bet my last $5 that your future SIL is going to be a handful during wedding planning.
edoyle2021 − You need to stop “adjusting” for everyone. This is not healthy behavior. It’s your engagement. It’s about you and your fiance not about anyone else. Do not indulge this bratty behavior.
Token_or_TolkienuPOS − Honestly this post is annoying. YOU are annoying. You are so far removed from this nonsense yet you insist on bearing its weight for some reason. 1. This is *his* sister, let him deal with it.
2. You keep describing yourself as a people pleaser type and are determined to “understand” this i**ot and her s**tty feelings of entitlement and I don’t know why.
3. Several people have expressly explained to you how exactly this isn’t your fault, how she’s being unreasonable but you keep digging your heels in. 4. His family’s approval and happiness seems to be incredibly vital to you for some reason. 5. Let this go for God’s sake.
MoomahTheQueen − Sorry, but who cares if she feels like she missed out on something. If you let this “overshadow your happiness”, you’re nuts. Ignore it. Move on. Be happy. Don’t focus on other peoples’ sour grapes
navillera224 − i think that should be an issue that your future husband deals with rather than you. you getting proposed to was not something you planned for, it was your bf. you literally did not do anything wrong.
your future sister in law’s feelings are her problem and if she’s still bothered by it, then your bf needs to talk it out with her to clarify. everyone can feel whatever they want to but it’s wrong to take it out on others.
YellowLantana − So your future SIL has made *your* engagement all about her feelings and making everyone in her family suffer. That’s not okay. Apparently this is not unusual in their family since your fiance feels that he should fix it. It’s not up to either of you to fix her unreasonable expectation and this should be nipped in the bud.
Your premarital counseling should include some serious discussion about his sister’s role in your lives and why he feels obligated to appease her. The two of you may want to start by reading *Emotional B**ckmail* by Susan Forward because this is not a one time thing.
Traditional-Ad2319 − Oh for god sakes his sister is sad who cares. I mean why does it even matter she’ll get over it.
MariahMiranda1 − Highly recommend you let your (future) hubby deal with his sister! She sounds like she likes attention.
It’s natural to want to share such a significant moment with loved ones, but also important to keep some surprises for the couple. How would you handle this situation? Should you prioritize the feelings of the family, or is the excitement of the engagement more important? Share your thoughts below!