My bf (27m) seems to think that I (26f) have to care and be sad about his cheating???

A Reddit user shares how her boyfriend confessed to cheating, expecting her to be upset, but instead, she felt relieved. Focused on her business and not wanting to get emotionally involved, she remains calm and composed, yet her boyfriend continues to pressure her for emotional responses. Read the full story below.

‘ My bf (27m) seems to think that I (26f) have to care and be sad about his cheating???’

He told me he cheated and started crying and all. I wasn’t surprised as he does something stupid every time we have any disagreements.. Honestly, all I felt was a big relief. I had been thinking about telling my family about him, but I dodged the bullet.

It’d have ended up a big embarrassment, but now, they’ll never know he even exists.. Of course, it does extinguish any attraction I have towards him and I’d never marry him. But the apology gift is very nice and I don’t care enough to ruin that for myself..

But besides that, I’m launching a new business soon and this is not the time to be emotional, break up, move out, take revenge, etc. My job and this business are going to mean a whole lot more to me in a year, even 5 years, than any of this nonsense. To me, being at peace and getting along well at home is more important right now.

So I’ve been cool, gracious, and focused on work.. However, he keeps constantly disturbing me during the day asking why I don’t care. If I’m not jealous of him, how sad he is, etc.

He keeps taking jabs at me too, which does actually irritate me. I feel like he wants me to feel as low as he does. But I don’t get it. If you make a mistake, why would someone letting you off easy be a problem??

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

L_to_the_OG123 −  Sounds like he almost wanted the validation of feeling important in the way of getting an extreme reaction from you, and showing how much you cared even if you broke up with him immediately.

Not really sure why you’d bother staying with him though. He’s a c**ater, he’s self-pitying, and he sounds rather desperate. Sounds like more hassle than it’s worth.

crypto_for_bare_toes −  Because he knows if you still loved him and saw a future with him, you’d be devastated. Your apathy indicates you no longer care about him and are (I hope) just getting your ducks in a row before you leave him. He doesn’t want that so he wants the “devastated” response of a loving dedicated partner.

39bears −  I had that reaction to being cheated on too!  It was like waking up from a dream and not remembering it.  My brain instantly switches to just feeling like he was a stranger.  Oh well, f him.

yooperwoman −  I know you are extremely busy right now, but I recommend you move out. He’s only going to keep bugging you.

venturebirdday −  He cheated, now you know something about him that was important to know. He did not value you enough to keep it zipped but he is NOW upset that you, as it turns out, do actually value him that much either. He is the punchline in his own joke.

e_z_z −  Seems like a pathetic person. He can tell you don’t respect him and it makes him insecure.

WritPositWrit −  He thought if you got angry with him, that “punishment” would alleviate the guilt he feels for being a bad person. He also thought he was super important to you and you could never live without him. Hah! Sounds like he’ll have to shoulder his own guilt AND burst his own ego bubble. Gee whiz.

Incognito0925 −  It shows him you don’t care anymore and will take the next possible opportunity to break up, when your life isn’t so hectic. You say he does stupid s**t constantly when you argue, so, mentally, it looks like you’ve already detached yourself from him in instalments over a longer period of time.

He isn’t there yet. He very much still wants to keep you around, since you have been so good for him. That’s why he’s upset because you’re not. He also probably can’t see you just being friends as readily as you are now, because he simply isn’t there yet.

This is going to be highly annoying for you if you stick around to watch him go through the motions of grief. I also, personally, suspect you might be suppressing some of your own emotions because you are so focused on your business.

It might hit you later. Be gentle with yourself. Also, I see you have a lot of compassion for him, but please don’t forget that he is an adult who should be capable of managing arguments better OR find a professional to help him learn it.

Odd_Welcome7940 −  NTA…. Tell him something like this. “Why would I be upset. I am proud of who I am. I am secure with who I am. You are the one who belittled yourself and made a fool of yourself. Why would that upset me? I never truly expected any better of you anyway.”

Ok_Refrigerator1034 −  Is this person still your boyfriend? Why don’t you block him? No need to let him keep disturbing you.

Why do some people feel entitled to emotional reactions after their mistakes, especially in situations like cheating? Do you think her detached response is healthy, or should she address the situation more directly? Share your thoughts below!