My [56 M] daughter [18 F] has a new 29 year old boyfriend and won’t listen to me when I tell her it’s not a good idea.
A father shares an update about his daughter’s relationship with her 29-year-old boyfriend. After initially being judgmental, he decided to support her decision to date him. However, when the boyfriend pushed for her to move in with him, the daughter became afraid, expressing concern that he might hurt her if she refused.
After the breakup, the father intervened when the boyfriend became threatening. The daughter is now safe, and the father remains vigilant in case the situation escalates further. Read the full update to see how the father handled the situation and what steps they are considering next.
‘ My [56 M] daughter [18 F] has a new 29 year old boyfriend and won’t listen to me when I tell her it’s not a good idea.’
Anyways so it’s been 10 days since my last post and about a month since my daughter has been with her boyfriend. After reading all the advice I decided I needed to support my daughter rather than be judgemental towards who she’s in a relationship with.
We had a talk the following day and I told her that I loved her and if she wants to date him then I am going to be a supportive father and that I shouldn’t have been playing a police officer role. I told her if she needed help or had any questions or anything that I’d be there for her and she can tell me anything.
She was really happy and said that she’s ecstatic that I’m accepting of who she wants to date and I apologized again for jumping to conclusions earlier. I told her that as with every boyfriend, I’d like to meet him and get to know her new man.
This time she didn’t use the “he has work” excuse and we met the next day for dinner at a restaurant. He didn’t give off an amazing vibe but he wasn’t a total d**che either. I guess he was a decent guy but I felt uncomfortable with how much he would touch and grab her publicly but maybe that’s just me being a dad.
So anyway fast forward a few more days and this is where it goes downhill. My daughter comes home and tells me he asked her when she wants to move in with him. I was in absolute shock.
She told me that she doesn’t want to move in with him right now and she said “Everything’s moving too fast and I’m afraid he’ll get really angry with me if I say no, but I want to live here dad”. I told her she could just say no and if he wants to be angry then so be it & that she is completely right with being concerned that it’s happening quickly.
She said that she was afraid he was going to hurt her if she refused to move and I just instantly bawled. It’s embarrassing to look back at now because she was making me feel better instead of me being mucho dad but it was the worst thing to ever hear that my daughter was so afraid of this s**t guy. I gave her a hug and told her she would be safe with me, and we just needed to figure out what we were gonna do.
A few days later she decided she wanted to break up, and have me listen on speaker and talk to him if “things got bad”. They talked at first and when she broke up with him he went all physco and told her “you won’t break up with me or I’ll pinch you again babe..
And this time it’ll hurt!” I looked at her and she looked terrified so I took over and basically yelled at him really loudly (probably louder than I should have) and said “if you haven’t heard she’s breaking up with you. And if you ever go near my daughter again I’m going to pinch the hell out of you!” He just hung up 😛 My daughter looked at me and said “I have never seen you so angry!”
I never thought I would be updating this but since it’s been a crazy week I’ll update everyone. im just happy that she’s safe and well see what happens from here. Hopefully he won’t continue to bother her but if he does, a restraining order is always possible. Thanks again everyone :). Tldr; they broke up!
Edit: HOLY S**T this blew up!! I’m at work so I can’t read or answer much of the replies but I’ll get to everyone tonight hopefully! & for all those who are wondering- yes it was pinch not punch. No typo there! Thanks everyone for the support its amazing to hear! 🙂
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Fitzwilliger − Hey man, good work. You just showed in practice how effective it can be when you establish yourself as someone that your children can trust to come to you for help without judgement. A+ parenting.
Timmetie − Good job. But please talk to her. If that dude hurt her before but she still wasn’t willing to leave she has some fucked up notions of relationships. This time she freaked out because he wanted to move in. But at that point he was already hurting her. And she was already afraid to say no to him. Those things are *never* oke in a relationship. I’m afraid you’re making it sound like it might be okay as long as the dude doesn’t rush matters.
-Avacyn − I’m a few years older than your daughter and a ‘daddy’s girl’ who had her share of difficulties with her dad. You should know that this single act will make her trust you beyond any doubt for so many years to come, although she might not say it out loud.
You just showed her she’s safe and loved and protected. Which at that age, is the most priceless relationship to have for a girl growing up to become a women, be it a relationship with your father or other male role model. This single act will show her what kind of qualities she’ll want in the men she’s dating.
Gisschace − Well this is a masterclass in parenting, first recognising you should do things differently, and then executing it perfectly. Now she knows she has a dad she can trust 100% and one who will be there for her when she needs it.
The alternative, that she thought she couldn’t talk to you so faced that alone (and possibly stayed with him cause she felt she had no other option), is scary to comprehend!
[Reddit User] − OP, you are a really good dad!!! Nothing else to contribute, just… awesome job. Also, I’m sorry, but I find the image of a dad pinching the crap out of his daughter’s ex-bf to be a really funny image. Not to make light of the situation, I just love that you threw that bizarre threat back at him! I hope that is the last you both hear of that guy, but even if it’s not, it is so great that she has your support through it all.
stixy_stixy − attraction toy salt abundant sort plants resolute drunk axiomatic combative ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
stiff_butthole − See, this is why I can’t help but love this sub. There’s some real s**t in here, and then you’ve got what parenting really should be like. Letting yourself be vulnerable is something that is so underrated; I know it wasn’t your intention, but seeing a parent be so concerned and genuine can really snap you into the moment.
It helped me get out of a bad spot, when I told my mom that I was afraid I’d be trapped in an apartment with my exSO and was starting to get scared. Having her suddenly stop fussing and being overprotective, suddenly sounding so calm and collected but also sad, and saying “I will never let you get trapped like that, ok…?
You should never feel that way, and I will do whatever I need to to get you out of a situation where you feel like that.” It made me realize how serious it was, and gave me courage to end things. Stop chopping onions OP. Getting teary over here.
[Reddit User] − Once your daughter calms down, Try to explain to her that more often than not, when a 29 year old is interested in an 18 year old, its because women his age won’t put up with his b**lshit behavior. So they zero in on younger women who don’t know any better. Then compliment your daughter for being smart enough to not get fooled by this man
MmeMakabre − This is exactly something my dad would do! Your a great dad. Keep up the good work
Aggressivecleaning − Awesome dadding! Be proud!
It’s clear that sometimes our protective instincts as parents are tested, and in this case, the father’s quick action helped keep his daughter safe. Have you ever had to step in to protect a loved one from a difficult situation? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.