My (38F) Husband (39M) hid having lunch with a coworker (25F) and said my food was ‘tasteless’. What do I do?
A Reddit user shares a troubling story about her marriage: her husband of 11 years stopped eating the lunches she packed and claimed he was buying food from a stand near work. However, she accidentally overheard him having lunch with a female coworker who had been cooking for him. Worse, he mocked her cooking, calling it “tasteless” to impress the coworker. Now, she’s torn between working things out or leaving. Read the full story below.
‘ My (38F) Husband (39M) hid having lunch with a coworker (25F) and said my food was ‘tasteless’. What do I do?’
I want this to be quick. I feel really weird about this and I’m on the verge of asking for a separation. So, I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, married for 11. Amazing relationship, small bumps of course but nothing like this.
I’ve always made lunch for my husband to take to work, and up until a little over a month ago that was fine. Middle of March he said that a new Turkish food stand opened up outside of his office and that he had been eating lunches there instead because they were good. Alright, no problem.
So he just completely stopped asking for lunches. I had maybe packed 5 during this time frame for him, but I’m not even sure he was eating them now. So on Thursday I was at home working and I had a phone call from him, thought he was calling during his lunch but he had b**t dialled me instead.
At first, I didn’t hear much, just him talking to someone, and I was about to hang up until I heard a woman’s voice as well. I wouldn’t say I’m a jealous person, but I was a little bit curious so I muted my call at work and listened.
It was just standard conversation at first, he was praising this woman’s cooking A LOT. Which of course made me realise that he was eating lunch this coworker made. I was a bit peeved but there’s an explanation sure.
Although that went out the f**king window when she said “is it better than your wife’s?” To which he replied “Oh yeah, without a doubt. I mean, it’s not tasteless for a start” followed by laughing.
First of all, what the f**k is that supposed to mean? 15 years of cooking and NOW he has a complaint? And not even to me but some coworker!! Also, that absolutely isn’t innocent on her end right? I’m not crazy in thinking that’s so weird, why even bring me up?
Anyway, I raised hell, ended the call, sent him a message not to ‘worry about my tasteless cooking anymore’ and that he ‘can eat from the bin’ from now on. Hes apologised, said that he loves my food and was just trying to seem cool in front of his coworker.
I asked why he lied about where he was getting lunch from, and he said that initially he did get it from that stand, but the coworker started offering and he didn’t want to tell me because he thought that I would get jealous (yeah, can you blame me?)
So, I’ve been airing him since. I’m still pissed to be honest, I haven’t made him lunch or dinner, only for myself since he said that he dislikes it so much. He said today that he’s apologised and that I shouldn’t keep punishing him but I’m literally an inch from going to my mums. I have a suitcase with my clothes packed under our bed ready.
Dad thinks it was a stupid comment, but that I should work it out, mum is on my side regardless of my decision. I’m thinking about leaving for a few days at least, maybe a separation but I honestly just want some reassurance if that’s what’s best here?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
BitterMistake9434 − Now let’s be real here, what are the odds the first time he talks about you negatively is the time he b**t dials you. This has been going on since he stop having you make his lunches.
Single_Vacation427 − Married men who are into some other woman start conversations by making themselves the victim and saying s**t about their wives. In this case, maybe your husband was s**t talking about your cooking and now this coworker is making him lunch, and they are eating it together.
SugarGlitterkiss − the coworker started offering. “Thanks but no. My wife makes my lunch.” He’s horrible for talking unkindly about you, and he’s up to no good.
Choice-Intention-926 − “Is it better than your wife’s?” He’s cheating. She wants to be compared to you and to win. If he has not cheated yet he’s well on the way to it. That’s why he’s already lying about where his food is coming from, and who he’s spending time with.
the_taco_life − If he’s not cheating on you with his much younger coworker, he wants to/is trying to. Man my vagina would dry up and blow away in a puff of dust over such classic creepy older dude behavior. You’re not overreacting. You’re under reacting.
Blue-eagle-23 − Has he agreed to stop having lunch with her? Even if she is not hoping to get with him she is certainly not a supporter of your relationship.
Blue-eagle-23 − Why is he spending so much time with this lady that is clearly looking for his praise at your expense?
Hexagonsnsuch − Damn, he insulted you to look cool in front of a female coworker? Like, why? That makes no sense unless he was trying to impress her. By s**t talking you and disregarding that you have been feeding him for years at the same time, how disrespectful.. That would definitely feel like a slap in the face if I was in your shoes. I’m sorry hun :/ I’d definitely leave for a couple nights, no question.
cadavercave − she packs his lunch???? unless she is paid, she is totally flirting with your husband and your husband is reciprocating
Ladyvett − He is having an emotional affair at the minimum. He needs to find a new job or switch departments at least. I would make it plain to my husband that if he continues with this woman in his life, I won’t stick around to be in his life. Emotional affairs turn physical everyday. Consider therapy.. Updateme!
Relationships thrive on trust and mutual respect, and words can cut deeper than actions. Was this just a stupid comment from her husband, or a sign of deeper disrespect? What would you do if you overheard your partner belittling you to someone else? Share your thoughts below.