My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I’ve told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings.

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The user (34M) is struggling with his wife (34F), who is a neat freak and keeps tying his boots, despite his repeated requests not to. As a volunteer EMT, he needs the boots to be left untied for quick access during emergencies.

After a stressful incident, he yelled at her, which hurt her feelings. In an attempt to get her to understand his frustration, he retaliated by messing with her shoes, which only made things worse. Now, the tension is high, and he’s unsure how to resolve the issue while maintaining respect for his own boundaries.

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‘ My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I’ve told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings.’

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

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How can this couple find common ground and rebuild their communication and trust after such a painful misunderstanding? What steps can they take to respect each other’s boundaries without escalating the conflict further?

 

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous 2 months ago

    A) most of us wear boots with a zipper for a reason

    B) throwing guilt of “my delay could could someone their life” is not only complete BS but also extremely detrimental to her exiating mental health problems to the point where you are actually making the whole situation worse.

  2. Chris 2 months ago

    Keep your boots in your car.

    I sometimes keep my less comfortable/more complicated shoes in the car and walk to the car in slides so I can put on my shoes in the car. In your case, you can ensure that your boots won’t be messed with and that you can get moving quickly when needed. While minorly inconvenienced, it stops you having to go round and round with your wife. FWIW, I like what you did with her running shoes. That would have been a practical way to help her understand how she was affecting you; I just wish you’d thought of it before things came to a head!

  3. B babes 2 months ago

    Just leave her she sounds very childish and dumb. You yelled and she got scared like wtf ok well don’t touch people shit even kids know that did you marry a 5yo or a lady with brain damage like she gets a taste of her own medicine and cries what a baby seems like you probably will have more problems in the future staying with someone who is dumb and a baby it’s either hide the shoes stay with a baby or leave and be in peace. That comment saying imagine she gets hit and the emt is late cause his dumb wife f**ked with his gear is hilarious and true. Even a child who know your jobs important would not touch your stuff. You can tell your wife as a lady shes pathetic and childish af hope she gets mental help or maybe an iq test too.

  4. Brian Wolf Brian Wolf 2 months ago

    Next time it happens come home and when she asks how it went tell her that the person died! And that if you had been there only 30 seconds sooner the person probably would have lived! Bonus if you say it was a young child!