My (36F) ex husband (38M) always told me he didn’t want kids, but got a new woman (23F) pregnant within weeks of our split. He now wants me to be an “auntie” to their baby and let them use my house. How do I begin to process this, and what do I tell him?

A woman grapples with shocking revelations after her divorce: her ex-husband, who claimed he never wanted kids, is expecting a child with his much younger girlfriend. Adding insult to injury, he wants her to act as an “auntie” and let them use her home for gatherings. Struggling with his entitlement and betrayal, she’s unsure whether to cut ties completely or confront him. Read her story below.

‘ My (36F) ex husband (38M) always told me he didn’t want kids, but got a new woman (23F) pregnant within weeks of our split. He now wants me to be an “auntie” to their baby and let them use my house. How do I begin to process this, and what do I tell him?’

My husband and I (36F/38M) recently divorced, after about two years of marital issues. He admitted “falling out of love” with me. It hit me hard, primarily because I had always been the one to support and nurture him while he was often distant and uninterested. But in any case and despite my heartbreak, I was relieved after two years of troubles to be divorced. I kept the house (I owned it anyway) and he moved to the next town over.

Our divorce was finalised just a few weeks ago, and not even a week after he left, I started hearing rumors of my ex out with a new woman. A lot of people I’d considered friends seemed to eat up the gossip around this, and excitedly posted online about it like it meant nothing.

Suffice it to say they aren’t my friends anymore, but through them I did end up hearing about my ex moving his new 23 year old girlfriend into his place. Those rumors were confirmed after his sister (who I’ve always gotten along with) texted me about visiting them.

She noted how weird it felt to see him all over his much younger girlfriend, laughing like nothing happened. It was also quite clear to me that my husband had almost certainly met and began something with this woman while we were still married. I deleted a lot of my social media accounts and tried to just ignore all the goings on and mind my business.

I didn’t expect to hear from my ex for a long time at the very least, but he called a few days later sounding very excited. He hit me with the news that his girlfriend was pregnant. For context, I’d wanted children with him for years but he’d always said no, that he didn’t want them and wasn’t ready.

I asked him over the phone what was different this time. He hesitated and said he hadn’t wanted our kids to be “mistreated by society for looking different”. I’m black and he’s white, and his new girlfriend is also white, so that can only be a comment about race.

During the call, he told me he’d really love me to be an active part of his child’s life, and be an auntie to them. I was pretty much speechless, and he continued by asking if he, his girlfriend (who would “love” to meet me) and eventually their baby could come over to use the pool and BBQ at my house “sometimes”, because it was “too big for just one person”.

I was so mad I put the phone down, and ignored all his texts asking me where I’d gone. His entitlement on top of everything else was staggering to me. It’s been another week or so and I haven’t responded yet. I told my family and friends about it, and they were all horrified by the endless bombs my ex dropped on me.

His family are actually being incredibly kind and supportive of me, and also think he’s lost his mind. I spoke to his mother the other day and she said her son had been relentlessly calling, trying to get his parents to come over and meet his new girlfriend and eventually attend scans with them.

The whole thing is like a bad dream and I have no idea how to begin articulating myself. What do you guys think I should do – continue with the silent treatment and just move on with my life, or do I tell him where to get off?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Far_Life5419 −  Absolutely move on with your life. This sounds incredibly possessive and m**ipulative on his part, and I think cements how he sees you—an accessory to his life as opposed to someone he was committed to and shared a life with. Stay no contact and move on. You deserve better

BarbieTheeStallion −  You laugh and laugh in his face, block his number, buy yourself a cheesecake, and continue thriving, sister.

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 −  Girl tell him to f**k off and block him. Who the f**k does he think he is??! Also the race comment EW. This man is deep in his midlife crisis. Getting a 23 year old pregnant and then daring to ask if you want to be an auntie.. What a l**er.

MazzIsNoMore −  Is this real? Your white ex-husband thought you weren’t good enough to bear his children so he wants you to play black mammy to his white children instead? I feel like this is too absurd to be fake but if it is it’s some good race bait.

GoldenHind124 −  Omg. Lock that pool down like it’s Ft. Knox. I can only imagine what that merry pair of clown shoes are willing to do to access it.

thatattyguy −  “I have no interest in you or your child. You will not be using my home for anything.”. then block.

No_Thanks_1766 −  He wants you to be a free babysitter so he can take his 23 year old wife on hot dates while you’re at home taking care of his kid.. You tell him: No. If you feel like you need an explanation (although you most certainly don’t), you can tell him that your divorce is finalized and you have moved on with your life and see no reason to stay in contact at all. You can follow this up with a block and delete.

Rude_Vermicelli2268 −  You dodged a billet with this man. You don’t owe him anything. Keep him blocked and move on and live your best life.

[Reddit User] −  This has to be rage bait. Seriously. Nobody can be so dumb as to wrote this as if it’s a real question. If it is. Then text “f**k off” and block him. Do it today.

codeduck −  “F**k off, and when you get there, feel free to f**k off again.”

Betrayal from someone you trusted is one of the hardest challenges to navigate. What advice would you give to someone trying to reclaim their boundaries after such a situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.