My (34M) girlfriend (45F) was hiding a mountain of incriminating evidence. Don’t know how to proceed?

A Reddit user (34M) discovers troubling information on his girlfriend’s (45F) phone, including voice memos about their relationship, texts with her friend venting about their fights, and profiles of three men she had sexted before they started dating.

After confronting her, she admitted that the men were “backups” but insisted she hadn’t contacted them. She also defended sharing details of their relationship with her friend as a way to vent.

After the confrontation, the user decided to break up, but his girlfriend had a hysterical reaction, leaving him uncertain about what to do next. Read the full story below to explore the emotional complexity of this situation.

‘ My (34M) girlfriend (45F) was hiding a mountain of incriminating evidence. Don’t know how to proceed?’

Two days ago I snooped on my girlfriends phone. Yes I know this is wrong, but l’ve had my suspicions for a while. I’ve never snooped on her phone but she’s been very protective of it for a while

I then proceed to find a mountain of stuff on her phone. First she Snaps her friend voice memos about every facet of our relationship. Every time we’ve fought, she’s went on there and told her. Sent her pictures of our texts between each other among other things. Then on Snapchat I found 3 other men’s profile whom she sexted before we met but kept them there.

I confronted her about this and she eventually admitted that the 3 men were “backups” so to speak. She said she never contacted them which is evident by the last time they talked out still had them as backups. Regarding her friend, she said she doesn’t see a problem with it because she needs to vent to someone.

After all of this I told her I was done and was breaking up with her. This resulted in her becoming hysterical and crying saying she can’t lose me and her having a panic attack. I calmed her down and left but have not communicated with her since. Just need some advice here.

Check out how the community responded:

nuggets256 −  What are you seeking? You seem to have accomplished the breakup, just focus on healing and finding someone you can trust for your next partner

TrespassersWill −  Of course she can live without you. She has three backups.

CopperSteve −  lol 45 year old on snapchats your first red flag

Wait-What1327 −  Move on. She’s 45 years old. She’s not going to change. If she doesn’t love you and respect you now, she never will.

Quartz636 −  I’m going to be downvoted to hell and back but….. apart from not choosing her words better, I actually don’t think she’s done anything wrong? She’s had no contact with other men while in a relationship with you. And she’s allowed to vent to her friend imo. I also tell my best friend everything. Women tell each other s**t and they talk about their relationship and partner with their friends.

Plus-Implement −  The men on Snapchat are a moot point. So what? That was before you dated and it doesn’t sound like she has been reaching out to them. We all need an outlet to talk about about our lives outside of our relationships, that’s what friends are for. She was venting, that’s normal. You broke up with her why?

Infamous_Crow8524 −  Sure she can lose you, she admitted to having three backup guys.

AggressiveRhubarb401 −  You ended it, be done. Time to go zero contact and move on.

WeeklyConversation8 −  You did the right thing. She’s constantly running to her friend about everything and has three men as backups. That’s not some who loves and is committed to you. You deserve so much better than this.

BramDeccapod −  She ain’t gonna improve with age- end it.

Do you think the user should move forward with the breakup after discovering his girlfriend’s actions, or is it worth trying to work through the trust issues and emotional fallout? How would you handle finding such private and concerning information about your partner? Share your thoughts and advice below!