My [33M] fiancée [27F] chose to save my deceased father’s stuff over her deceased mother’s in a fire. How can I ever repay her?

A Reddit user shares a deeply emotional story about his fiancée’s selfless act during a devastating fire. Faced with the choice of saving her late mother’s belongings or his father’s, she chose to save his father’s cherished items, despite having lost her own mother years ago. Read the full story below to see how this act of love has left him feeling both grateful and conflicted.

‘ My [33M] fiancée [27F] chose to save my deceased father’s stuff over her deceased mother’s in a fire. How can I ever repay her?’

Two nights ago, my fiancée accidentally set fire to our kitchen and the fire extinguisher in our apartment was defective. The fire spread quickly and burned through most of the building before they were able to contain it. I wasn’t home, so I wasn’t there to help my girlfriend gather anything up. If I was, I would have forced her outside and told her to leave it all. It’s just stuff.

She chose differently. First, she took out two dogs outside and handed them off to a neighbor on leashes. Then she went back in. At this point the kitchen was engulfed in flames and she couldn’t make it into the living room, but she could get into the bedroom. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make two trips and she had to act fast.

Both of us have lost parents. I lost my dad 3 years ago. He was a friend of her father’s so she knew him (though not very well), but he died before I actually met her. I have most of my dad’s stuff in a storage unit, but in our bedroom I have his ashes, two guns, and a couple of other very personal things from my time with him.

She lost her mom as a teenager, and because her father is an a**hole, she only has a few small things of hers, and her wedding dress. Instead of choosing to save the few things that she has of her mom’s, she gathered up my father’s things, wrapped them in a sheet, and ran out of the room. I don’t even know how to begin to say thank you.

I’m so completely devastated by her losing her mom’s things like that, and I can’t imagine what she was thinking or how much she must really love me to make that decision. I don’t know how to repay her. Or where to begin. Can anybody think of a nice gesture I can make it up to her? She must be devastated. I can’t imagine losing the last bit of my dad.

Tl;dr: my fiancée had an opportunity to save stuff from her dead mom when the apartment was burning, but chose to save mine instead. How do I repay her?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

countrylemon −  Clearly, in that moment, she chose to save what she loves most of all – your heart & happiness. I think she thought to herself to save what she had left (you), she has all her mom’s memories wrapped up inside her. She didn’t know what losing your dad’s stuff would do to you, so she decided not to risk it and protect you.. God damn, that’s powerful.

You better marry that girl. Just spend the rest of your life treating her right. My side note: would be to get something engraved with her mother’s name. My best friend’s husband got her a ring with her mom’s name engraved on the inside and their birthstones side by side in the band.

[Reddit User] −  I can’t answer your question, but you’re marrying the right person. Remember that.

NotThatValleyGirl −  This is going to sound corny, but there may be no way to repay her– just be there for her and show her your appreciation through actions and behaviours. In terms of those actions, is there anyway you can salvage any carbon-based burnt thibg if her mother’s and have it turned into a gemstone?

Like there’s a company called LifeGem or something that turns cremated remains into diamonds. There are also glassblowers and artists who can turn ashes into beautiful memorial keepsakes for much cheaper. Might be m**bid but I’m the sort who appreciates the effort of turning bad into good, tragedy into beauty. It might breathe new life into what was otherwise destroyed.

drekiaa −  I’m sorry that this happened to you guys. Is there any chance at all that you would be able to reach another family member that could get some of her mom’s personal belongings in this situation?

pigeon-bird −  this moved me to TEARS, what a beautiful human being. Maybe you could take a special trip to her mother’s memorial together and while you’re there you could give her something special as well as a letter to tie your love and gratefulness to her love for her mother.

azilifts −  Take her to the courthouse tomorrow and marry this woman.

buttercupbride −  Just never, ever forget it. When you’re married and you have those stupid power battles and you KNOW something is petty but you can’t let it go because it feels like letting a part of yourself go……remember this and let it go. She’s a keeper.

[Reddit User] −  “A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him.. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.” Her mom obviously raised a beautiful human. I’m glad both of you are OK.

ritan7471 −  I would save this in your heart. Someday you will have a MAJOR disagreement about something that is really important to both of you but a decision must be made, and there seems no compromise. In that moment, when you are feeling angry and stubborn and sure that you’re right and she’s wrong, give it to her. Let her make the decision.

Later, when she asks why you stopped the fight, tell her that once, she put your needs abover her own and since you only want her happiness, you will agree to disagree and let her make the decision.

There will be other arguments in which to be right and get your own way, but pay her back by being her partner, who is ok with giving in to something that is really important to you. Exceptions: if she’s anti-vax or wants to join an MLM “business”

AreCharBroiled −  You hold on tight. And you never let her go. You tell her you’ll stand beside her as her partner, behind her to support her and if she needs it ever, in front of her to protect her. And you do it.

This story demonstrates the depth of love and sacrifice that can emerge in times of crisis. How would you show appreciation for such an act of love and selflessness? Is there a way to repay her, or is this something that transcends any material gesture? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below!