My (33F) husband (34F)’s pregnant mistress (28F) begged me to leave him and I refused. Where do I go from here?

A Reddit user shared their distress about their husband’s infidelity and the unexpected pregnancy of his mistress. The user has been married to her husband for years and is struggling with the discovery of his affair, which has led to an emotionally intense and complicated situation.

Despite being hurt, the user is determined to work through their marriage, but the mistress, who is now pregnant, has begged the user to leave her husband. The user continues to wrestle with how to handle this situation, especially if the baby turns out to be her husband’s. To find out more about how the user plans to move forward, read the full story below…

‘ My (33F) husband (34F)’s pregnant mistress (28F) begged me to leave him and I refused. Where do I go from here?’

I don’t even know what she qualifies as, if mistress is fitting or not. It was a drunken one-night mistake- my husband’s words. They run in the same work circles and field but don’t work together. My husband was dropped off at our house 2 months ago drunk off his ass after a company event.

He was crying and out of it, blabbering about nonsensical things. I tried sobering him up, but his legs couldn’t even support him, and I couldn’t drag him to the couch, so he slept it off on the ground and the next day he confessed to everything.

He was crying and I’ve only seen him cry a handful of times in all our years of marriage and he said that everything was foggy, and he doesn’t remember much but that he slept with her. I won’t type in my reaction because I can only describe it as violent.

Not physically but I unloaded on him and sobbed and screamed and then lied to our kids after it woke them up. We tested him for dr*gs because what he was describing (foggy memory/didn’t drink that much etc) was a**ault and as awful as it is,

I felt a little bit of relief that it might have been and that he hadn’t willingly cheated on me but there was no trace of dr*gs in his system. The past 2 months have been brutal on us but we’re slowly working on us in therapy. Some may call it weak that I didn’t divorce him,

but I just can’t bring myself to do it and believe me I thought about it a lot. He hadn’t had contact with her since that night up until she got his number and sent him a picture of her bloodwork a few days ago- She’s pregnant and is asking him to meet up.

That sent us into another spiral, but we agreed that I would meet her because there’s an innocent life on the line. I wish I can say she’s awful and I hate myself for this but under different circumstances, her and I would’ve been good friends. She seemed ashamed and honestly looked lost.

She’s not that much younger than my husband and I, we’re 33 and 34 and she’s 28 but grew up sheltered by her religious parents, not that it’s an excuse but from what she said. I asked her what she was going to do with the baby and she got quiet.

I don’t know what I thought she was going to say but it certainly wasn’t her asking me to leave him. She said that once her bf finds out he’ll leave her and her parents will cut her off for having a ‘b**tard’ baby and that she can’t do it on her own and that I’ll get a nice settlement and start fresh.

I laughed. God help me but I laughed harder than I thought I could while she started crying. These past 2 months have been testing my sanity, and I don’t have that much left in me. Once I calmed down I told her that I will not leave him.

If she wants to have the baby, we’ll figure out support and custody but that was about it. She started crying harder in the middle of the cafe but hell, we were already getting looks from my unhinged laughing and begged me to leave him. I told her I won’t.

My husband and I have been together since I was 14 and he was 15. We stuck together through highschool, got engaged and married throughout our BAs and Masters, have 2 beautiful kids and were trying for more and I won’t throw that all away just because she spread her legs and he f*cked her once.

He’s all I’ve ever known, I don’t f**king remember a life without him in it. And let’s say I agreed to leave him then what? He’ll marry her and she’ll take over my life and be in my kids lives raising them half of the time?

I didn’t let her get a word in and I was crying by the time I was done with my rant, and I left her there, she sobbing too. My husband and I already talked with a lawyer for a paternity test and we’re waiting on that before we do anything else.

My husband sent her a text with my contact information and told her all communications are to be through me before he blocked her number. I didn’t ask him to do that but he’s trying. I just don’t know where to go from here if it does turn out to be his.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

PSBFAN1991 −  I’d wait for the paternity test especially since she has a boyfriend. She’s got a lot of nerve. You’re a better woman than I am. Good luck x

Savings-Ad-3607 −  wtf she has a bf but asked you to leave your husband? Honestly the fact that she asked you to leave him makes me wonder if she planned this? Like did she want your husband?

GenoFlower −  Oh dear god. Why does she think it’s your husband’s and not her bf’s? This is insanity, start to finish. And you are doing your husband’s dirty work? Your lawyer isn’t handling contact with her?. 👀

50pencepeace −  Being too drunk to stand would still suggest SA, even without dr*gs

mindlesswreck −  This feels fake

thepotatoworld −  Even if he was not dr*gged, there’s a chance that someone deliberately made him that drunk. Wait for the paternity test and figure out the best course of action.

Unhappy_Wishbone_551 −  His very inebriated state, along with her ready plan for what to do with OP, is very off. He’s probably blackout drunk for the incident,she’s got a collected and cool plan for moving forward, seemingly without his consent. This is giving off very premeditated vibes.

Tell her family and boyfriend, ask the lawyer about how to move forward with possible a**ault charges. And DO NOT be dumb enough for further personal contact. Edited to add: collect evidence from other people that attended that event.

Enough_Insect4823 −  Listen if a man f*cked a woman who couldn’t stand up she was so drunk we’d all be calling him a rapist. She bare minimum took advantage of your husband, I know this all hurts so deeply but I hope that helps some.

Dingo-thatate-urbaby −  If he was that drunk then he couldn’t consent. If you reversed this and it was a woman it would be considered rape. You should really think about that.

Princess-She-ra −  My husband sent her a text with my contact information and told her all communications are to be through me before he blocked her number.

Um what? Why are you going along with this? Neither of you should have contact with her. You have a lawyer, go through the lawyer. Obviously, wait for the paternity test results.