My (31f) husband (32m) has been k*lling my houseplants with bleach?

A woman (31F) discovers that her husband (32M) has been intentionally killing her beloved houseplants, some of which hold sentimental and monetary value, by adding bleach to the fertilizer water she prepares.

Despite her calm confrontation, he offers no apology or clear explanation for his actions. Feeling betrayed and questioning her safety, she is torn between seeking counseling to repair the relationship or ending it entirely.

‘ My (31f) husband (32m) has been k*lling my houseplants with bleach?’

I have many many houseplants and even some that were quite expensive and were gifts from my sister. Within the last 6 months at least a third of my plants have died. I have had houseplants my whole life due to my late mother’s own love of houseplants and I know a lot about plants.

The d**th of the plants didn’t seem related to lack of light, or inconsistent watering, or lack of nutrients, or even root rot! They just died very suddenly. I tried to not let it upset me too much because plants die and it was not any of the expensive ones, until now.

My sister gave me a 5 leaf monstera Albo rooted plant for my birthday two months ago. It was beautiful. This morning I was crying pretty hard about it as I unpotted it and took a look at the roots and I was looking HARD at this plant and roots to see if it’s d**th was pest related and that’s when I noticed a smell.

I sniffed my potting mix and I smelled bleach. The only other adult person in my home with unlimited and unobserved access to my plants is my husband.
I wasnt able to talk to him for several hours, but when I could speak to him I very calmly but very directly asked if he had done something to my plants.

He denied it at first. I said I smelled bleach in the potting mix of the Albo my sister had gotten me and that the only person that could have put it there was him and he caved. He said he was putting small amounts of bleach into the fertilizer water jugs I prepare. I started crying.

I asked him why, why would you do this? You know I love these plants why would you destroy them? He didn’t really answer nor did he really apologize. The trust I had in him is absolutely gone.

I think maybe counseling can help us, but he is the one that did this, but I’m the one that would have to set up the counseling. The angry part of me just wants to be done with the relationship. I know that might seem overboard, as we are married and share a child, but I feel now that I’m not safe around my husband.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

bluestjordan −  I don’t know your partner. Hopefully you do.. But proceed with great caution.. You may want to give this a read

Liu1845 −  Sheesh, I’d worry about what he’s putting in *my* *coffee*.

texaspopcorn424 −  This is just so odd. Like he had no explanation??? No reason?? He just intentionally went out of his way to hurt you? Seems like he has so serious issues.

princess_ferocious −  That’s disturbing. I can’t think of a single reason to kill your plants that isn’t creepy, controlling, or otherwise unhealthy. It feels like he resented the time or attention you gave the plants, maybe?

I don’t think I’d feel safe around him either, or having your child around him. Is there somewhere safe you could go for a while, while you try to work out if you want to salvage the relationship?

Predatory_Chicken −  No one *CASUALLY* gives bleach to a living thing unless it intends to harm it. He killed your plants on purpose. I can’t think of a single reason he did this that makes him salvageable as person or partner.. There is something wrong with him.

Edit: lots of people are mentioning ways that in very controlled settings bleach can be safe or helpful for living things. I think it’s obvious that isn’t the case here but interesting none the less.

VexBoxx −  My brain: the plants were a dress rehearsal.

Cat_o_meter −  You aren’t safe. Neither is your kid. He’s sadistic. 

pinkflamingo1404 −  I don’t think you’re overreacting — this is legitimately psychotic (and v. disturbing)

_WitchoftheWaste −  He saw something you loved and wanted to kill it. Thats just fucked up I’m sorry… Oh and keep an eye on him around your child.

FatSadHappy −  He is jealous. Yes, in a weird controlling way he does not want to share attention. He shown how much he can go in it already. I would plan a safe escape. Quietly and carefully.