My (30F) husband (32M) impulse bought a dog.

A Reddit user (30F) shares her frustration with her husband (32M) after he impulsively bought a bulldog puppy with significant health issues, despite their agreement on choosing a breed that suited their lifestyle.

The dog has breathing problems, needs surgery, and has become a source of tension between the couple, especially with the dog now sleeping in their bed. The user is upset with her husband’s decision and lack of care for the dog, and is unsure how to address the situation without losing her temper.

‘ My (30F) husband (32M) impulse bought a dog.’

Together six years married for three. We so far have very rarely had communication issues. Before we got married we went to a counselor who helped us a lot; not because we were having issues, but to make sure we were going to be able to avoid these issues.

Both of us are childfree and have been talking about getting a dog. I grew up with them but we travel a lot, so having one has not really been in the cards. He recently took a job where we won’t be able to do as much traveling for about a year.

Recently he has been very excited because he feels he deserves a dog. He works away from home and I work from home. Like I said I grew up with dogs, I do miss having one. But there are dogs who would do great with out lifestyle and dogs who wouldn’t. We agreed on getting a trainer if we had any issues we can’t fix on our own.

I am very health conscious which extends to dogs. There are certain breeds I would never own because they have so many health issues. The other day he came home with a bulldog puppy. This is a breed on my absolutely not list. He is about six months old and he got him from a family who couldn’t keep him.

He is already has breathing issues, he snores all day and all night. He will need soft palate surgery and he will need his nostrils enlarged. He can’t run. He will need patella surgery. Like I said he is only six months old.

I am so frustrated. We’ve had the dog for about four weeks and he doesn’t want to walk the dog much, he won’t clean up after it, all he wants to do is take him to the dog park and pet store. He loves when people gush over how cute he is when he snorts (the dog not my husband).

We had a very big argument over the dog. He wants to let him sleep in bed with us, but I told him I would be sleeping in another room. He didn’t care, and the dog has been sleeping in our bed for the past three nights while I have been in the guest room.

During the day he is quiet. He is a good puppy for sure, he doesn’t destroy toys and he is happy as a clam to sleep next to me all day while I work. The snoring doesn’t bother me as much, but knowing he snores because he has that much trouble breathing makes me feel so bad. but I am so upset with my husband for getting a dog with so many health issues. I do not know how to address the situation without letting my temper get away with me.

TL;DR: my husband brought home an impulse purchased puppy with numerous health issues, he won’t care for it, and it has taken over our bed.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

[Reddit User] −  And the sleeping? He literally chooses a dog over you *every day*.

Sulfura −  he feels he deserves a dog. A dog is not a nice treat you buy yourself as a reward for sticking to a diet or getting through a stressful time! It’s a whole other being with its own needs and preferences who is now reliant on you forever. The dog *deserves* to have an owner with a better attitude.

Hormonalstew −  As someone who had a bulldog, please consider rehoming. Between breathing and skin issues you can easily spend thousands of dollars a year. Additionally, they require a careful hand in training. They’re smart and stubborn. It won’t work unless the whole house is on board. These dogs are always harder to re home once adults. So unless your husband is gonna get on board, get this pupper out while he still has a chance.

[Reddit User] −  It’s petty but whenever I see this kind of post, I feel like if one partner can make the unilateral decision to get a pet, the other partner can make the unilateral decision to rehome it.

As a dog lover, I think it’s absolute b**lshit that your partner is inflicting this on you. I would recommend finding a bulldog rescue and arranging to get the dog into a foster home. Once you have the logistics worked out I would straight up tell your husband he can choose between the dog and your marriage.

There is a deeper problem here with your husband dismissing your concerns, not taking care of the dog, and kicking you out of your own bed (wtf) so if you choose to stay with him I’d recommend couples counseling. But this is really not behavior I personally would be able to get past.

dco361 −  Your husband is irresponsible at best and the fact that he is putting this dog over your concerns is alarming. To be clear, it’s not even that he truly cares about the dog, since he won’t actually take care of the poor puppy. He just uses it for clout.

[Reddit User] −  Take it back. Then: couples counselling. This unilateral decision was unacceptable irresponsible inconsiderate disrespectful behaviour.

[Reddit User] −  Both dog and husband should be returned to store.. I’d be SO ANGRY.

altergeeko −  Rehome the dog while it is still cuter as a puppy.

iwantsurprises −  I can’t believe people are glossing over the fact that you said, “No, the dog can’t sleep in the bed,” and the result of that is that you are now ***sleeping in the guest room*** while your husband and the dog sleep in your bed. It seems like you have no power in the household and in the relationship. Your husband just DOES things you don’t want and you are the one contorting yourself around these decisions.

You HAVE to learn how to put your foot down, for real, and have your no actually be respected. But it doesn’t look too good for your relationship at this point IMO. If you put your foot down that the dog goes, your husband strikes me as the kind of guy who is going to resent you for this literally forever, and not accept that he was fully 100% in the wrong and responsible for this outcome himself by going ahead without your consent.

Or, if you decide to s**k it up on the vet costs but put your foot down around ground rules for the dog, like him taking proper care of it & it not being allowed in the bedroom, well – your husband has already demonstrated that he doesn’t care about your feelings,

so it’s hard to imaging this actually happening without it turning into a constant “nagging” (in quotes because “nagging” is a sexist word for “trying to hold people accountable to their word, when you shouldn’t even have to do that in the first place”) source of argument.

The more I think about it, the more I think the only solution here is couples counseling with the focus on his lack of respect for you and your feelings, and the lack of making decisions as a team, with the goal that he comes the conclusion that he needs to rehome the dog **himself** as the only way to put things right & prioritize the relationship, and if he doesn’t come to that conclusion, then you walk.

Ladyughsalot1 −  So he got a dog expecting you to care for it. That entitlement piece is important. He doesn’t even have good Intentions he legit expects you to just do it. A dog is such a wonderful addition to a family. Choosing the right dog is a memorable experience and he took it from you and went against your wishes. A purebred bulldog puppy is not a charity case. Find a responsible home and tell him this can’t happen again.

It’s tough when a decision like this causes friction in a relationship. Have you ever faced a similar situation where a decision affected your relationship dynamic, especially when it comes to pets or responsibilities? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.