My (29F) husband (36M) hopes I have a C-section?

A pregnant woman shares a troubling moment with her husband, who casually expressed that he hopes she has a C-section during childbirth to avoid potential changes to their sex life. While he tried to frame it as a joke, she finds the comment deeply hurtful and inappropriate, especially given the risks involved in a C-section. Now, she’s questioning whether she’s overreacting or if her feelings are valid. Read the full story below.

‘ My (29F) husband (36M) hopes I have a C-section?’

Posting from a friend’s account because my husband follows mine. I have been with my husband for a little over ten years, married for two. We weren’t planning on having kids for a couple more years, but we had a slip up with our birth control and now I’m eleven weeks along with our first.

The stress of this being an unplanned pregnancy is weighing heavy on us both right now, and I guess to alleviate the anxiety, my husband has been talking more and more about plans for the future and getting ready for the baby.

During one of these conversations, he casually dropped that he “hopes” I get a C-section when delivering our child and wondered if it was something that happened often. I had no clue where he got this idea from or why he thought that was an appropriate thing to say, so I asked what he meant.

He explained that he’d heard awful things about natural delivery, the pain and risks of tearing, etc, then added, completely serious, that he’d hate to have our s** life ruined if I ended up getting a tear or was “looser” after the birth. He said this last part semi-jokingly, but by that point, I was so angry.

I couldn’t stay calm or explain how f**king stupid what he said was (not even mentioning all the dangers of a C-section). I was repulsed he’d even bring up his own pleasure in the same sentence of something so serious for me, the baby, and our well-being. My husband says I’m overreacting and it was just a joke, but I don’t know.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Jorge-O-Malley −  Men who think women are “looser” after childbirth are objectively stupid.

FatSadHappy −  He sounds awful. He wants you to be cut open, have extra risk of dying now and in next pregnancies, extra pain and all so his d**k is tight? AH.

Unlucky-Mulberry-999 −  see he had me in the first half – i’ve heard that people think C-section must be easier than labor. And then he brought up s** and like ???? Has he made comments like that before

Takeabreak128 −  Twenty six year old dating a teenager. Now married and pushing 40. Yeah, it all checks. Make the selfish SOB watch a C section video. What a j**k!

Robokat_Brutus −  You should have used your own account so he can see all the people calling him an i**ot. Which he is.

AnxiousTelephone2997 −  “Honey, I still love your penis even thought it shrank after getting me pregnant. I thought you’d return that sentiment, but I guess not”. Let him know how utterly absurd he sounds.

XxLogitech98xX −  He sounds selfish here because it’s basically whatever medically necessary. Natural child birth is normal and fine unless there complications. It’s not a joke IMO

ThrowRA_wuw −  This is absolutely crazy. You’re literally gonna deliver a HUMAN BEING u have been growing for 9 months and all he cares about is your s** life? He honestly sounds selfish and stupid af. The fact that he’s trying to brush it off as a “joke” and accusing you of overacting is just him g**lighting you.

TheNinjaPixie −  So he is basically telling you that what happens to you is actually all about him.

Piilootus −  Nope, not an overreaction. No matter how it happens, child birth is a massive medical deal and it causes damage in most cases. The fact that your husband isn’t thinking “hopefully everything goes as smoothly as possible so my wife can have a smooth recovery” and is instead thinking “what if her vagina changes and our s** life changes after we welcome our child into our life” is a massive a**hole move and if it was me, I’d be signing the divorce papers already.

Childbirth is a deeply personal and life-changing experience, and every woman deserves respect and support throughout the process. How would you address a partner’s insensitive comments about birth choices? Should this woman be concerned about her husband’s priorities? Share your thoughts below!