My (28F) Boyfriend (27M) ruined girl’s night

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A Reddit user shared how their boyfriend’s insecurities ruined their recent girls’ night out. Despite keeping him updated and responding to his messages, the boyfriend bombarded her with texts, FaceTimes, and accusatory questions, acting as though she was hiding something.

When she tried to address his behavior the next day, he hung up and has been giving her the silent treatment since. The user is left feeling confused and unsure of how to handle the situation. Read the full story below to dive deeper into this conflict.

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‘ My (28F) Boyfriend (27M) ruined girl’s night ‘

This past Saturday, I went out for a girls’ night with my best friends. There were 7 of us, and we were just enjoying ourselves and having fun. I made sure to keep my boyfriend of a year updated throughout the night, letting him know where I was and what we were doing.

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Despite this, he was blowing up my phone the entire time—facetiming me multiple times, constantly texting me, and repeatedly asking what I was up to. At no point did I take longer than an hour to reply to him, but he kept acting like I was ignoring him.

At the end of the night, our designated driver dropped half of us off, which took a little over an hour since we were all going to different places. When I got to my friend’s house to spend the night, I FaceTimed him to reassure him.

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Instead of asking me how my night went, he immediately started questioning why it took so long to drop everyone off, asking weird, contradicting questions because he wanted to “catch me slipping.” It was like he was trying to find a reason not to trust me, even though I’ve never given him any reason to not trust me.

The next day, I tried to call him to talk things out, but he got annoyed, hung up on me, and hasn’t spoken to me since. I’m really confused because this lack of trust came out of nowhere, and I don’t know how to handle the situation. Any advice on how to move forward?

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Glittering_Hope9375 −  Imagine this happening every time you want to do something without him. No way.

pandathrowaway −  If one of your friends’ boyfriends behaved like that during girl’s night, what would you tell her?

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Elusive_sunshine −  Normal looks like: Have fun, babe. Send me a text when you get in so I know you’re safe. Then when he gets that text, a Good night, glad you had fun. Talk tomorrow.

Anything else is just him externalizing his emotions onto you and is in violation of your emotional boundaries. If he thinks you’re cheating, he can talk to you about it or break up.

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ReapYerSoul −   I don’t know how to handle the situation Break up with him. Seriously. You tried to have an adult conversation with him about HIS actions, and he childishly hung up on you and hasn’t spoken to you. Do you really want to put up with that drama?

artnodiv −  This isn’t a healthy relationship. If my wife has a girl’s night out, She might text me once or twice. But regular check-ins? No. It sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to break up and made up a reason.

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Probably because he met someone else, and it’s easier to pretend you’re cheating on him than admit he’s the one who is dumping you for someone else.

quollas −  he wanted to catch you slipping. you passed the test and he still holds it against you.. face it. you can’t win.

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Parking-Money3439 −  39M here, that is dangerous, coercive, controlling behaviour. It will get worse. Red flags and sirens are going off. Please consider that this is not normal behaviour, but it is textbook coercively controlling behaviour. It is the beginning of an attempt to isolate you.

Edit: For context, I’ve seen it happen more than once. And it’s the same playbook each time. Please, please research coercive control and the warning signs. This is no joke, and his actions are not excusable by simple insecurities.

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NocturnalHabits −  I made sure to keep my boyfriend of a year updated throughout the night, letting him know where I was and what we were doing. And why are you doing that? How has it become normalized that your boyfriend gets high frequency status updates from you?

I’m really confused because this lack of trust came out of nowhere It comes out of your BF’s personality. He’s a stunted soul. I’ve never given him any reason to not trust me. Strictly speaking, trust can’t really be earned, only lost. [Edit: Hence it must be freely given.]

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Your boyfriend seems unable to trust. You can’t fix that. Your relationship is not healthy, it’s a toxic waste landfill. There’s nothing to salvage here. You have wasted one year on this person, it won’t get better. Get out.

GossamerLens −  I’d break up so fast. That is unhinged and continuing behavior. This wasn’t a moment of panic. He actively tried to ruin girls night and is being rude the next day.

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KarmaChameleon306 −  This level of insecurity is exhausting and soul sucking. I was married to this for 10 years. It never got better.

Do you think the boyfriend’s reaction is justified, or does this indicate deeper trust issues in the relationship? How would you handle a partner showing signs of insecurity and controlling behavior? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!

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