My [28/f] fiancé [31/m] ex girlfriend [30s] moved in across the street. She’s trying to make her presence known by doing weird things and we’re both sick of it.

A Reddit user shared their discomfort after their fiancé’s ex-girlfriend moved in across the street and began engaging in behavior that feels invasive and unsettling. Despite their fiancé’s insistence that it’s a coincidence, the ex frequently lingers near their house, returns mail late, and lets her dog trespass.

The user feels uneasy in their own home and wonders how to address the situation without escalating it further. To learn more about their predicament and how others have advised them, read the full story below.

‘ My [28/f] fiancé [31/m] ex girlfriend [30s] moved in across the street. She’s trying to make her presence known by doing weird things and we’re both sick of it.’

My fiancé, James, and I have been together for 3 years- planning a wedding for October 2016. A few months before we met, James brought a brand new home in a newer subdivision. We recently refinanced it and added my name. Before me, James dated a woman, Britt, for about 7 months (she’s never been to this current house).

From what he’s told me, they broke up when he decided they weren’t as compatible. The breakup was rough- to the point where he and neighbors called the police when she wouldn’t leave his front yard and was screaming at 10 pm at night. This is all from what he and his sister have told me. I don’t have a reason to not believe them. I’ve only had a few run-ins with Britt.

These have been at restaurants or just coincidences out in public. We never spoke up until now.. The problem: Britt has bought a house in the same subdivision that we live in. We even share a cul-de-sac. The only reason we found out about this is from a flyer we got welcoming her to the neighborhood (our subdivision is very “community” oriented).

James insists he’s never told her where he lives and hasn’t spoken to her since the night he called the police. We both brushed it off as a coincidence but lately it’s becoming very weird.. Here’s why:

-I work for a company that allows me to work from home 3 out of the 5 days. Our home is a ranch and my office window faces the street. I’m not sure what Britt does for a living but she does not work during the day. From about noon until 3, she spends her time walking up and down our street. When she passes our house, she doesn’t take her eyes off of it.

It’s almost like she can see me in the office. She’ll even stop in front of our house and stretch there for about 5 minutes. Every day anyone is at home. It makes me uncomfortable to the point where I have all of our blinds closed during the day. I understand the need for exercise but she walks for 3 hours just going up and down our street.

-Another issue is when either James or I are outside with the dog, she’ll let her dog outside and it will come sprinting to our yard. This causes her to come and get her dog. Every time she says “I’m sorry, were still working on training.” James and I are always polite.Normally, I would be ok with this but James has pointed out that any other time she lets her dog out and we’re not outside, she’ll immediately correct him before he runs off. She never corrects him when we’re outside.

-We’ve been getting “ding dong ditched” a lot since she’s moved in. Something that’s NEVER happened in the 4 years that James owned the house. The doorbell will ring around dinner time (between 6 and 8) and by the time anyone gets to the door, no one will be there. It’s gotten to the point where our Doberman has picked up the routine and waits by the front door, pacing.

-The last issue, which I believe might be illegal, is that our mail seems to go missing for a while and then pop back up. What I mean is, Britt will knock on our door and say that she received our mail and is just returning it. This has NEVER happened with the previous owners in her house. We don’t have a new mail carrier either.

It seems to happen once a week and she’ll always bring it on a Friday night. Based on the date on the envelopes, we can tell she’s been holding it all week. This has pushed James over the edge because she had our water bill which resulted in us being 2 days late on the payment (James is n**rotic when it comes to paying bills).

Every time I have to convince him not to go over and yell at her because we haven’t actually caught her taking it out of our mailbox as much as I try to monitor it. She usually gets two days-worth of mail because those are the days I’m not working from home, the other days I get it right away.

I’m not sure what to do at this point. I don’t want to p**s her off by confronting her but how can I get her to stop? She’s making us nervous and I feel uncomfortable in my own yard most of the time because I know she is watching. Any advice? I know this sounds strange but I’m not sure if I can legally do anything about it. I don’t have anything against her; it’s just becoming an annoyance.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

ttyl_lylas_lmfao −  SECURITY CAMERAS catch her stealing your mail. That’s a federal offense- and based on their past very likely enough for him to get a restraining order and get her kicked out of her house. Do it.

panic_bread −  Install security cameras all around your house immediately. Call animal control on her for having her dog loose. Document document document. I guarantee you she will escalate this further if you don’t stop it now. She’s crazy and obsessed.

Falco-Rusticolus −  I would not confront her directly or say anything to her. If I were going to confront her I would do so with the police, and evidence. About the mail, I WOULD CALL THE POST OFFICE, and ask to speak with the mailman of your area, or ask if it’s possible that all of the sudden he/she is delivering it to the wrong place.

You could also just say, “we believe a neighbor is taking our mail, but are unsure,” can you pay extra close attention to the mail you deliver to our house and her’s and make sure there is no mistake, so we can find out if this is true or not?” You should also hang out right inside your doorway one night and wait for the doorbell to ring.

I think it would be worth it to see the look and panic on her face (if it’s her). In all seriousness though, I would call the police and tell them everything you’ve said here. I would make it clear that you aren’t positive, but ever since she has moved in weird things have been happening, and she has been acting strangely.

At the very least, this would allow them to have some sort of idea already what is going on, and what you suspect, just in case anything further happens. Definitely try to get camera installed…I’m sure whoever installs them would understand and try to be discreet/make it look like he/she is fixing something else.

I guess I would confront her about the dog, and tell her she needs to keep her mangy mutt off of your property or you are going to call the authorities (i’m assuming you have leash laws).

ScruffsMcGuff −  Hah, you should buy a “For Sale By Owner” sign and put it in your front yard just to watch the inevitable freak out she has over it.

kinder_teach −  Document everything; times, locations, actions. For the letters, get some sort of secure mailbox that can’t be opened without a key. And for the love of god keep an eye on your dog when you take it for a walk, especially if it tried to eat something off the ground. Who knows what sort of crazy is going on inside her head.

maidrey −  /r/legaladvice. I’m not an attorney or an expert by any means, but if I was in your shoes I”d be looking into talking to attorneys or talking to police and trying to get a restraining order. At this point, I feel like having an officer stop by and asking her if she’s messing with you guys/touching your mail might be enough.

Also, you can get relatively cheap camera systems online. I would put some cameras around the outside of your house. Stealing mail is a really bad thing, she might end up getting some sort of personal info from it.

callmeredhead −  **Security cameras**, a locking mailbox that you can stick mail into but need a key to get it out of. Also tell her, in no uncertain terms, that if her dog keeps getting into your yard then you will call animal control and have them come out and talk to her every single time it happens.

NDaveT −  Even if James never told her where his house was should could have found out through public records. I suggest some kind of security camera. The police might not do anything about the doorbell ringing but the postal service might be very interested that she’s taking your mail.

buckeyegal923 −  I’d say it’s time to call the non-emergency police line for your neighborhood, talk to someone there, and make a report about her behavior. First, because the mail thing **is** illegal if she’s taking it out of your box, and second, because you need to get ahead of this thing before she goes full-on crazy stalker lady.

Just for fun, and to make her insane, could you buy one of those mailboxes that locks and just has a slot for the mailman to drop your stuff? There is no way that her moving in there and all the weird things suddenly happening are not connected. I know they’re minor things now, but they could easily get worse.

lacee_45 −  Former mail carrier here. So illegal! Call the postal inspectors (you can look up online or call your local PO and they will give you the number.) They will send inspectors out (you won’t know when and they usually watched like a P.I., so she won’t be aware either) and watch to see who’s taking the mail. It’s a federal expense, up to 5 years In jail and a fine. It’s a felony, big NO NO. They don’t take mail theft as a joke.