My (27f) boyfriend (30m) isn’t talking with me over my customer service voice. What should I do?

A Reddit user (27f) shared that her boyfriend (30m) is upset with her because of the way she speaks during professional calls, referring to it as her “customer service voice.” After she made a call, he started teasing her about the tone she used, calling it “hot” and suggesting she use it all the time.

When she refused, explaining that it wasn’t her real voice, he became serious and is now refusing to talk to her unless she changes how she speaks. This has caused tension in their relationship, which had previously been great, and the user is unsure how to handle the situation.

‘ My (27f) boyfriend (30m) isn’t talking with me over my customer service voice. What should I do?’

I truly cannot believe this is real. My (27f) boyfriend (30m) won’t talk with me because of my customer service voice. Let me explain, we’ve been together for 2 and a half years. We started living together a couple months ago. When we met we both had aspirations to move out of our current state to another a couple hours away.

That’s been something we’ve planned more heavily over the last year and we got a place together in the new state a couple months ago. I work from home, his job is hybrid and based in the state we live in. For the first couple months he was at work often so he mostly only worked from home at night (after my work day had finished).

My job doesn’t involve a lot of phone calls so I for the past 2 months haven’t had to make any phone calls when he’s been home. Until 2 days ago. I had to call someone to schedule them and-as most people do- I put on my customer service voice which is slightly different than my normal voice. My boyfriend was home and overheard me.

When I wrapped up the call, he started teasing me a little bit- calling my “customer service voice” a name similar to mine but slightly different (ex. If my name was Jessica he was calling the voice I used Jessalyn or something like that) and saying “oh Jessalyn sounds hot” just being playful like that.

I thought it was a joke so I played it off, but then he got more serious saying “no seriously that voice is way hotter than your real voice, why don’t you use that one instead?” And I told him it’s because it’s not my real voice and I’m not going to fake my voice.

He told me that it was just a voice and it wouldn’t hurt me to do it just because he likes it. He’s now refusing to talk to me unless I use that voice. This is the first time I’ve seen any red flags like this, up to this we’ve had an incredible relationship.. What do I do?

Check out how the community responded:

FireWaterSquaw −  Tell him it’s your work voice and he can’t afford it. 🙂

Ipiratecupcakes −  This took such an unexpected turn I don’t even know what to say. I assumed the issue was going to be he was bothered by your customer service voice because it sounded fake and even that was a stretch of a legitimate grievance. But this is just, bizarre.

If it were me, I’d find something to point out about him that you “like” better. Like let’s say he flexes his arm to show a muscle and you say, oh wow I like your arms so much better that way, you need to do that all the time because I like it better.

No_Thanks_1766 −  As soon as a guy asks you to be fake to make him happy, it’s time to end the relationship. Edited: unless you’re role playing then it’s ok for the specific scenario but day to day? Hell no

Leonos −  Throwaway because we both love Reddit. What makes you think he won’t recognize this story if he stumbles upon it?

Ok_Introduction9466 −  What should you do? Pay attention to this red flag. Stonewalling or the silent treatment are abuse. Plain and simple. He’s demanding you do something and trying to punish you for not listening. This isn’t a lighthearted joke it’s a serious red flag. You just moved in together and that’s also noteworthy.

Abusers let their mask slip after major milestones (moving in together, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, etc.) All the responses saying “flirt with the voice” or “tell him he can’t afford it”…this isn’t funny and it’s a sign domestic violence could be on the horizon. Be safe, seriously.

If there are other red flags you’ve been ignoring…make sure to have an escape plan just in case and if this becomes a bigger argument do what you need to do to get out of it. You can’t fix or beg certain types of people to respect you or drop an argument because they won’t. Good luck.

lizzyote −  “Hey babe, fake your voice so I can get my rocks off. Pretend to be someone else for the rest of our relationship, k?” Boy has issues. Tell him you’ll use your hot voice when he starts using his hot voice. Don’t elaborate on what his hot voice is, give him a complex.

People’s voices change on the phone depending on who they are talking to. I guarantee he subconsciously deepens his voice when he’s talking to the boys. Guarantee his voice changes when he’s talking to a little old lady. This is the first time I’ve seen any red flags like this

This is usually an indicator that the issue he’s presented you is not the actual issue. Kinda like how when someone starts randomly accusing the other of cheating when absolutely nothing in the other’s behavior has changed. There’s something else going on.

ConfusedAt63 −  Well, in your best customer service voice, break up with him. He is too immature for you if he plays the silent treatment game. People do not play emotional control games if they are mature. Mature people have grown past those kinds of behaviors. Are you getting the point? Maybe ask him for something equally stupid?

kwhitit −  he’s refusing to speak with you unless you use a fake voice? girl, what? this is m**ipulative and gross behavior on his part. move out.

Apprehensive-Pop-201 −  Talk to him in your demon possessed call the exorcist voice instead. See if he likes that. He wants a Duggar voice. Thats really creepy given what we know about Duggar men.

ItsAllKrebs −  If he can afford to pay your hourly, then he can get the voice.. What a freak