My (26M) Girlfriend (24F) of 3.5 years uninvited me from a trip to Last Vegas in January, only to be unfaithful and carry on an affair with a family friend (37M).
A Reddit user shares a devastating experience after learning that his girlfriend of 3.5 years, whom he had planned a future with, has been unfaithful and involved in an affair with a family friend. After his girlfriend excluded him from a planned trip to Las Vegas, claiming it was now a “girls trip,” the user later found out through his ex-girlfriend’s stepfather that she had been secretly meeting with the family friend’s son,
continuing the affair even after they broke up. The user is in shock, feeling betrayed and heartbroken, and is unsure where to go from here. To read more about this emotional journey, continue below…
‘ My (26M) Girlfriend (24F) of 3.5 years uninvited me from a trip to Last Vegas in January, only to be unfaithful and carry on an affair with a family friend (37M).’
This has been a whirlwind of events. I am in shock writing about it and need an outlet to express whats happened. My GF and I have had an amazing relationship and always wanted a future and family together. This all changed and I no longer know the person I once loved. Full disclosure: I have never suspected my girlfriend was capable of something like this.
She has had the wool over everyones eyes. In 2018, myself, my gf and her mother planned a weekend trip together to Las Vegas for her moms friends 60th birthday. Plane tickets were bought, accommodation arranged, and a whole weekend of events was planned from Jan 11 – 14. What could go wrong.
Come Christmas time, said friend (60F) from Las Vegas flew up to our hometown (where she is from), with her extended family to celebrate Christmas in Canada. She has a son (37M). Over Christmas eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day, we hung out at this families Air BNB house in our hometown and I got to know them very well.
I consider myself to be very observant, and I noticed zero interaction between the son (37M) and my girlfriend (24F). After Christmas, the family flew back to Las Vegas and awaited our arrival for the January weekend. Here is where I should have clued in, which I partially did, just not to the extent that would have helped.
About a week before Las Vegas, my girlfriend informed me that the boyfriends of couples who were supposed to fly down to Las Vegas had bailed out on the trip, and slowly the trip was turning into a ‘Girls Trip.’ My girlfriend never outright expressed to me she didn’t want me going, but did her best to ensure me I wouldn’t have fun there.
3 days before we leave, my girlfriend outright tells me I cannot come; Accommodations have been rearranged and I’m no longer invited on the trip. Given that I had paid for this trip, I was visibly upset. I expressed that I didn’t feel as if this was a partnered decision but rather her trying to intentionally exclude me from something I was invited to.
Ultimately, she left the decision up to me. I decided it didn’t feel right at this point to go unless I was convinced she wanted me there, which I wasn’t. Friday came and went, she flew with her mom, I stayed home. My girlfriend ended up losing her passport down there. (The lie detector test determined that was a lie.) She stayed a few days extra and flew back.
She met up with me the following Friday and told me she no longer is happy in our relationship and wants to break things off, hoping that we will get back together in the future. I protested, but understood from our current spat that something wasn’t right and that we should go our separate ways. Maybe one day we would get back together. This leads us all to today.
For the last month, my ex girlfriend and I have been communicating on and off (phone and texting) but have never seen each other. She has been extremely busy preparing for her teaching practicum (so I thought). She and I would both initiate conversation, and discuss our relationship and talk about working things out in the future.
She and I both told each other we had no interest in seeing other people. On valentines day, she even messaged me saying how we should be together and she misses me. After struggling to move on with my life I decided today was the day I would head over to her parents house (where she lives) and express my feelings and ask if this could be worked out once and for all.
By pure coincidence (because nobody else was home at the time) and the kindness of a step-father, the truth was revealed to me. I called her house and asked her step-dad respectfully if he’d allow me to come to the door and speak with my ex. Him and I got along great and he said I’m always welcome to come and talk but unfortunately,
she is not there and neither is her mother. She is in Banff during her ‘busy practicum weekend’. Her step-father sat me down and began with this: “I’m assuming you’re here because you don’t know everything. If you knew everything, I don’t think you’d be here. I have been told by GF, GF mom, and other family members not to tell you anything,
but I have a lot of respect for you. My ex-wife of 10 years cheated on me and I know how it feels. Anything you ask me, I will answer completely honestly.” Confused, I sat down where everything had been explained to me. My girlfriend had begun an affair in Las Vegas with the son (37F) of her moms best friend. Every weekend since,
he has been flying my ex-gf down to Las Vegas to meet him and this past weekend took her to Banff with the whole family. Keep in mind, he is divorced, and has 2 kids (8 and 10). I am absolutely disgusted and feel sick about what really happened. I don’t even know how this happened.
I cannot thank this man enough for telling me the truth which nobody felt the need to pass onto me. I feel betrayed, deceived, heartbroken, and angry. Suffice to say, I am in an absolute state of shock. I simply texted her saying “I know everything, never contact me again,” and my phone has been blowing up ever since.
Her demanding to know who told me, her denying what has happened, her being angry with me. I’m completely lost reddit. I thought I was going to marry this girl one day. How does someone change in the blink of an eye. I learned more about my girlfriend in 30 mins than I did over the course of 3.5 years. Where do I go from here? Advice very much welcome.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
thatRuss − This girl is extremely cold and calculating. She and her mother. Definitely don’t contact her again. She will probably say anything but it will all be lies.
pandamoanium33 − HOLY S**T YOU’RE SO LUCKY!!! GIRLFRIEND! NOT WIFE! My dude. You dodged a bullet and if you were nearby, I’d by you a beer (or five) to get through this cuz YOU WON! I know it doesn’t feel like it but think about how much worse this would be with her as a wife? With children?? With investments like a house, dogs, etc.
I send you my condolences, friend. No one should have to to through this and I’m sorry that she’s so inconsiderate as to s**ew you like this but I’m so happy for you because bouncing back will be that much easier for you. Find a center. Join a gym. Make a routine that breaks you off from whatever you had before. You need to change your perspective and it may take 5+ years but you’ll make it through this man. I promise.
SCUAH1980 − You keep going no contact and move on.
DrDiarrhea − Uh…they owe you the money for the trip.
tiredifmorons − Call step dad. Tell him thanks and you will not betray his confidence. Never tell this slapper who clued you in. You don’t want this chick. She is suddenly enamored with international trips, going to Banff and this new dude. Well new dude will be old dude soon enough. In 10 years she will be 34 and he will be 47 with God knows how many kids.
She has actually done you a favor. But tell Step Dad you have his back.
WillieJMR − You getting uninvited from the trip means this has either been going on much longer than you thought, or was the plan all along. Regardless, be thankful it’s over. I mostly dislike her for stringing you along since breaking up with you. Be thankful the step father was straight up with you. Don’t ever rat him out. Cut all contact with your ex.
Nothing either of you say is going to change anything. It’ll only make you more angry when she continues to compound her lies. Consider her dead to you. The only way you can move on is a clean break. No contact. Block. Whatever it takes. Good luck OP.
CreflowDollars − I had my relationship fall apart late 2017 in a similarly earth-shattering fashion, 8 years of what I thought was trust gone in an instant. I also lucked out by never marrying her or having kids. Youll be hurt for like a week then youll feel dumb for a little while for not seeing the signs (and believe me, youll discover them as you go back and sort through all the tiny moments that were just slightly off and realize what they meant).
Then youll realize how lucky you are to not have any ties to this woman at all and can move on free and clear. Trust me, this will go down as one of the best things that could have ever happened to you. Best of luck to ya
[Reddit User] − Your girlfriend found something new, shiny, and temporarily more interesting. This happens in many relationships. There are times in life where we all meet new people and sometimes form a connection with them that we might have not thought possible because we are already in committed relationships.
What sane people DON’T do is throw away a stable, long term relationship for the new interest. Your ex has a s**t load of self reflection and growing to do unless she wants to be doomed to a life of repeating this with every person she commits herself to being with. This does not reflect in any way on you and you dodged a major bullet.
You’re hurting now and are probably wondering how you’ll ever trust another soul. Block her and take care of yourself. In time I’m sure you will find someone who is a much better match and not a walking dumpster fire. Source: I was your ex about five years ago.
TheSavageBallet − Keep doing what you are doing, keep with the no contact. don’t rat out the stepfather, send him a six pack of the good stuff for saving you a lifetime of misery. I know you loved who you thought she was, but that’s not who she is. She is a liar, a cheat, and has zero respect for you.
Do not let this girl back in your life, she was absolutely going to fall back on you when she was done playing with this guy and had no intention of ever giving you the choice of knowing who she is really is. What. A. Scumbag.
How would you handle discovering a betrayal like this, especially after believing in a future with someone for years? How do you cope with the shock and heartbreak of realizing someone you trusted has deceived you so profoundly? Share your thoughts below, and offer support to those navigating similar experiences.