My (26m) girlfriend (22F) insists I keep leaving our toilet dirty when I’m certain it isn’t, and I’m at my wits end wondering why

A Redditor shared his baffling relationship conflict: his girlfriend insists he leaves their shared toilet dirty after every use, despite his strict cleaning habits.

As tensions rise, he’s left wondering if there’s an explanation or hidden motive behind her claims. Read the full story below to see how he’s grappling with this unusual disagreement.

‘ My (26m) girlfriend (22F) insists I keep leaving our toilet dirty when I’m certain it isn’t, and I’m at my wits end wondering why’

My (26m) girlfriend (22F) of 9 months has brought up on several occasions that she feels I constantly leave the toilet dirty after using, citing that she has to clean fa**es every single time she goes to use it. I do not understand why as I am extremely bathroom conscious, and can’t imagine not checking for mess before leaving the toilet.

I have a bidet installed in my seat specifically to minimise waste and mess, but I’m aware it can spray water/mess near the rim of the bowl, so after every use without fail, I am sure to wipe down anything left behind, from leftover waste to water that has splashed.

Not doing it at this point would feel as unnatural as not pulling my pants back up after going. I go as far as to often clean in the gap where the water itself comes out. I’m aware of this because even in public I go through the same routine after each use, being sure to wipe it down if there’s an available brush.

This evening we had maybe the 4th argument about this where she claimed that 9/10 times she goes to use it, she has to clean it before she can go because it’s disgusting. She went as far to say she left it for a week as a test to see if I would clean the mess but claims I didn’t even notice.

I can say with just as much certainty this isn’t the case as I could tell you that I wore shoes to work today. She ended the argument by saying “what would be the point of lying about this”, which I actually completely agree with, it would be a ridiculous thing to lie about,

but it got me wondering what’s happening given the certainty I have that this isn’t an issue of mine. This isn’t just a difference of cleaning standards either, I bleach the bowl with cleaner after every maybe 4/5 times I use it,

and have been living out of my parent’s house for nearly a decade so I definitely understand the difference between “good enough” and “clean”. I guess I’m just looking for an explanation, but I can’t get one from her because she seems to believe wholeheartedly I just do not know how to wipe down s**t when I’m done with a toilet.

I’m at the point where I’m going to start taking photos of the toilet after every single use just to prove I’m not going insane, and I cannot believe it’s come to this for an issue this dumb.

TL;DR – I’m confident I clean after every toilet use due to my own high bathroom standards, girlfriend insists I leave it disgusting. I feel like there’s an ulterior motive but I don’t understand what it is.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

SquibblesMcGoo −  Tell her that the next time she goes to use the toilet and it’s dirty, she should call you right there and then and show you exactly where the mess is. If you’re not home, she needs to take a picture, circle the mess and send it to you.

If it’s truly disgusting she should be able to just point to where it needs better cleaning. You can then see if her complaints have any merit but it sounds like she’s either super n**rotic about something specific or just enjoys complaining

WritPositWrit −  Ask her to bring you in and actually show you what she sees, or take photos.

Aliteralpunch −  Update: I have taken the first post-bathroom photo. A new weird era in my life begins.

TomDestry −  Have you considered that there’s another person living secretly in your closet?

n_adel −  Could it be your pipes leaving sediment long after you’ve flushed?

tagrav −  I had an ex do this stuff. It was all a g**lighting control manipulation tactic. When I truly observed her parents I realized where she got it from.

headcase-and-a-half −  This reminds me of the guy who kept telling his girlfriend that she smelled bad and it turned out he was just trying to make her insecure so she wouldn’t leave him. 

DinnerDad −  There was a post here a while ago where a guy was constantly getting accused of pissing all over the floor every time. It got so bad that he went into the bathroom, stood there for a second, and then flushed.

His wife/girlfriend still insisted that he had pissed all over the floor, despite the fact that no p**s had left his body. Somehow, the comments were not on his side. Anyway good luck 

Speedraca −  You bleach the toilet 80% of the time after you use it? Maybe I’m the disgusting one, but that seems crazy high to me.

90blacktsiawd −  I’m waiting for the update when OP finds out his GF was just intentionally messing with him because she’s angry at him for some reason.

Do you think the issue stems from differing perspectives on cleanliness, or could there be something deeper at play? How would you resolve a persistent and puzzling conflict like this in your own relationship? Share your thoughts below!