My (26F) Girlfriend Cheated On Me (23M) And Had A Baby That’s Not Mine. What To Do???

A man (23M) shares a devastating experience of finding out that his girlfriend (26F) had cheated on him and the child they were expecting was not his. After learning that she had been seeing another man, Troy, for over a year and the baby was his, the relationship ended. Despite the betrayal, the man is still deeply in love with his ex and feels lost and heartbroken. He seeks advice on how to move forward after such a life-shattering revelation. Read the full story below.

‘ My (26F) Girlfriend Cheated On Me (23M) And Had A Baby That’s Not Mine. What To Do???’

So I’ve been with my girl let’s call her Ashley for 4 years now. Before her I had 2 other girlfriends that cheated on me. Then I met her and she changed my life. I’m quite a quiet and soft spoken person but with her she made me feel safe and confident. She just treated me great. She’s a very confident and brave person.

She has had addiction to drugs and alcohol but I’ve helped her move past it. (I don’t drink smoke or do drugs. Not judging just giving you a FYI) Reason I bring that up is because going through that and over coming it felt like nothing could get in our way and we could get through anything as long as we have each other (corny I know but it’s how I felt lol). We’ve never fought.

The most I can think of is maybe she’s had a rough day or something and I didn’t put something away and she’s made a comment in a frustrating voice . Which I get. But please believe me, there’s never been anything to fight about. I’m like one of the most convenient people in the world. I don’t like conflict so I just agree with Ashley 100% of the time and whatever she wants goes. (Thinking maybe that’s why she cheated? I was too boring?). Now the part of the cheating.

Well almost 10 months ago now we found out Ashley was pregnant and I was thrilled. We both were. Did the Normal stuff a couple does, pick names for boy and girls , buy all baby stuff ect. Anyway the day comes she’s having the baby.

I was actually at work and had to leave (thought the baby was coming on said weekend, it came on a Tuesday) Anyway I get there see Ashley, the Baby and a Man who looks almost the complete opposite of me. Beard, Long Hair, Tattoos, piercings. I have not seen this man at all in my life and he’s standing looking at my child.

I couldn’t even have a guess at who he was. I walk in the man says “Hey man” I repeat the same to him. I look at Ashley and she’s not even looking at me and asks … let’s say “Troy” to give us a second. He leaves. I’m looking at my son and Ashley tells me the most devastating thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Telling me my son is now not mine and she been seeing Troy for a year now. (3 months at the time of her being pregnant) And she just really likes Troy and it’s nothing I did. She didn’t tell me because she was hoping the baby was mine but she found out it wasn’t so she doesn’t want to drag me through the mud anymore.

Now i know you are probably hoping this is the moment I say that I flipped out and went out there and kicked his ass. But no. I just felt like a part of my soul ripped itself out of my chest and died. I honestly have no idea how I got out of the hospital or even made it home.

(I do, I obviously walked and drove but I just can’t even remember it) We’ve now separated and took all our belongings and moved into other places. It killed me seeing the baby crib. So I really don’t know what to do. It’s still fresh.

I’m not sure how to move on. It might sound absolutely insane but if she wanted me back I’d go. I know I shouldn’t but ugh I love her. She made me. I can’t imagine my life without her. She was literally my perfect partner.

I guess I’m just asking for advice or if anyone has had a similar experience?. It just feels so random. 1 second I’m happy as anything no care in the world. Feel like I’m about to start a family then BOOM! flipped upside down and nothing was ever what I thought. Thanks for reading my long life story lol.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Hermiona1 −  She was cheating on you for a year. Sorry for such harsh words but leave the trash where it belongs. You deserve better. You have nothing to do with this baby.

virlassa −  She’s your perfect partner? My guy, your bar is on the floor if this mess is your perfect.

ThrowRA-MIL24 −  So sorry. You sound similar to my hisband. Though his ex didn’t get pregnant. He’s also a pacificist, said he almost never argued with her, she cheated and he forgave multiple times… There is a woman out there who will match the love you put out… and it’s not your ex. Every minute you are with the wrong person is a missed chance to meet the right one.

You also seem to have a habit if choosing cheaters 3 out of 3 now. Not saying the cheating is your fault but you have some blindness even picking partners. Take some time and reflect… what did they have in common and why are you attracted to that type. I wish you the best.

unknownfena −  He is just her first baby daddy, there will be others too. Think that you are lucky that you are not in that mess

harleywren01 −  Your perfect partner is someone who cheats on you for a year? I’m really sorry to say this but you are in love with a person that doesn’t exist… I feel like you might benefit from therapy as you don’t seem to have much self esteem or respect in yourself, I.e a backbone.

No I don’t think you should be kicking anyones ass, just be glad of the bullet dodged and work on yourself until you believe enough that you deserve a partner that is loyal to you. This woman used you as a crutch to get past her addictions and then trashed you when she no longer needed you.

Also, not arguing ever because you decide to agree with someone every time you actually disagree is not a good sign. Disagreements, arguments, even fights occasionally are healthy because this allows you to set boundaries and stand up for yourself without fear.

If she did ever love you in the time you were together, she too was in love with someone that wasn’t real simply because you withheld who you were in order to keep her around. Please get help before your next relationship because settling for people who don’t respect you will be a pattern in all your relationships until you do

Lingonslask −  Sometimes it’s so hard to feel the rage and shame that you rather feel love. She did something so unfathomably cruel that it’s hard to comprehend and take in. You will need time, and if you have safe people in your life that really cares for you, you should turn to them.

Captain-Superstar −  Dude, your “girlfriend” is possibly the most evil person on this planet. Leave her and never look back, she is pure evil.. My god…

Resident-File-867 −  You deserve better. Work on yourself now and learn to love yourself before even thinking about getting in a relationship again. You sound really sweet but seems like your self-esteem took a major hit after being cheated on so much, you really do deserve so mich better

Leshai_James −  Be glad it isn’t yours, dodged a bullet with that one

Particular-Bus141 −  This story is really sad and you should seek some professional help for what sounds like a traumatic loss. But absolutely block this person and don’t talk to her again — you’re at risk for really messing your life up if you keep in touch with her while you’re this sort of broken.

Dealing with betrayal and the end of a relationship can leave you feeling broken and unsure about how to move forward. Have you experienced a similar heartbreak? What advice would you give to someone struggling with the pain of being deceived by someone they loved? Share your thoughts below!