My (26F) friend (26F) says my husband (29M) cheated. He denies everything and has given me a day to decide to trust him or end things. How do I go about this?

ADVERTISEMENT

A young mother is caught in a heartbreaking situation after her close friend claimed her husband was cheating, despite having no proof. Her husband denies the allegations and has given her an ultimatum to decide whether she believes him or their marriage will end. With conflicting feelings and only hours to decide, she’s unsure whether to trust her husband or her friend.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘ My (26F) friend (26F) says my husband (29M) cheated. He denies everything and has given me a day to decide to trust him or end things. How do I go about this?’

My husband (29M) and I (26F) have been together for almost five years, married for two, with a 16-month-old daughter. We’ve been hoping to have a second baby soon. Our relationship has always been great, and he’s a wonderful husband and father.
Recently, my close friend, someone I’ve known since I was 18, claimed that my husband has been cheating on me during the weekends I visit my parents. She has no physical proof, just her word, but she’s adamant it’s true. When I confronted my husband, he denied everything.
He reassured me and reminded me of the multiple chances he’s had to be unfaithful in the past but never acted on them. Despite his reassurance, I couldn’t shake the doubt. It led to an argument where I said things I regret. In response, my husband said he would give me space to figure out what I believed.
He’s been staying at a hotel for the past three weeks. During this time, my sister and brother-in-law have been staying with me for support. My family doesn’t believe my husband would cheat. My mom, in particular, thinks I shouldn’t have let him leave, and I agree.
I’ve since asked him to stay at home during this difficult time, but he refuses, saying he’ll only return if I trust he didn’t cheat. He visits every evening to spend time with our daughter but barely speaks to me. Today, he sent me a text saying he’s given me enough time.
If I still can’t decide, he believes it’s best we end things. He’s signing a lease for an apartment at 6 p.m. tomorrow and meeting someone for drinks afterward. He says I have until 5 p.m. to decide if I believe him. If I don’t, he plans to move forward with the lease and start the divorce process.
I want to trust him—I really do. He’s been a great partner and father, and I’ve never had reason to doubt him until this. But I can’t understand why my friend, someone I’ve considered like a sister, would lie to me about something so serious.
The only explanation that makes sense is if she wants my husband for herself. What would you do in my situation? How do I figure out what’s true before it’s too late?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

ConnieMarbleIndex −  Why would she say that? What exactly did she say? You’re leaving a lot out. He has a date for tomorrow…?

Few-Coat1297 −  Not sure how this was left rot for 3 weeks. He also sounds checked out already. You’ll probably never know at this stage.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lambsenglish −  The only thing that raises a flag here is the drinks date. How the f**k he’s got a drinks date in place so quickly? Otherwise, he’s right, entirely. If my wife took her friend’s word over mine with no evidence, I’d say the same. EDIT: I’m not asking how he has logistically organised a date. I’m aware of those mechanics. I mean emotionally.

College_Prestige −  got into an argument and I said some things I shouldn’t have. What did you say?

ADVERTISEMENT

iamsampeters −  Honestly, I was pretty in husband camp until discovering he’s got a date planned, combined with his ultimatum. I appreciate if what he’s saying is true – that having an accusation of this nature lingering over him would likely be an awful position to be in.

But serious question to you – **what’ve you been doing these past 3 weeks?** Your friend has no proof, so what is she basing it on? What’s she seen/heard that has her so adamant he’s cheating?

ADVERTISEMENT

Seriously, what have you been doing for 3 weeks? How have you not got to the bottom of this and made your mind up? I’d struggle sitting on this for 3 days, nevermind 3 weeks.

WorldlinessHefty918 −  Well this story is lacking.. first of all you failed to tell us how your friend knows she’s treating? Has she answered that question ? Please update us.. Secondly I’m a bit baffled your husband already has a date lined up?

ADVERTISEMENT

Optimal-Gap1398 −  Here’s my thoughts. This guy is doing his best with you while you have a sixteen month old child. He puts in the work to the point that you recognize it and you say he is an amazing husband and father.

He is doing everything he can to build a good life for you and your child, for it all to get ripped out from under him. It wasn’t his actions, his choices, that brought him here. A third party, your best friend, who isn’t there to see the work he does day in and day out, was enough to take it all away.

ADVERTISEMENT

The moment you trusted her, without evidence of any kind, over him, you killed the relationship. I’d have been pissed. What is the point in doing all the work and still being the villain? I can totally understand choosing a hotel over staying in that house while giving you space. If he stayed in the house, it’d be harder.

He’d likely not be as angry and would let it simmer because frankly he loves you. The problem is that he deserves to be angry.  You were willing to throw away your trust in the relationship with unsupported rumors.  As for the drinks, that is stupid easy.

ADVERTISEMENT

You punished him for cheating when he had done nothing. He already suffered the consequences of it. His marriage is over, the trust is gone. It could be spite, in the sense of “if I’m punished already for it, why not do it?”

or it could be that he is tired and done, that he wants to have someone in his corner or to listen to him, even if it is for just a few hours. Either way, your marriage is over. You played stupid games and won stupid prizes.

ADVERTISEMENT

The ball is in your court now. Be generous with your coparenting agreement, as he is a great father in your own words, and do not be cruel to him financially as this divorce happens. Let him go so he can start rebuilding his life.

Whyme0207 −  You not only blame him for cheating but also tell everyone in your family about it, without a single proof. That’s very irresponsible. What if your friend is just jealous of your life and blaming him of cheating. Even if it’s true before confronting him you should have done some research, get proof then confront.

ADVERTISEMENT

Lingonslask −  Given how stories tend to end here I’m sure the date is with your best friend. Apart from that I can’t understand why you would jeopardize your marriage for a friend that won’t even tell you why she thinks he cheats.

That’s absurd and I almost understand why you husband is moving away from you. You should obviously not trust your friend over your husband if your friend doesn’t have any proof.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is a pivotal moment for her marriage. Should she trust her husband, who has always been a good partner, or believe her friend’s unsubstantiated claim? What advice would you offer her to find clarity and make the best decision?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *